I don't understand my feelings and it's bothering me

[Princess71]

I don't understand why I'm feeling this way and I'm hoping that someone else has felt this way so I know I'm not crazy.... Well, I'll feel less crazy. If you've read some of my threads you know that I was rejected by a friend when it was turning into more about a year ago and I still am not over it. Okay, that's crazy enough. Here's the really weird part. Not only do I feel sad and rejected, but I feel really JEALOUS of him. I'm obsessed with him and I've been googling him like any obsessed person would, and I see all the endeavors he's undertaken and all the success he's had and what he's made of his life and I'm envious!! I feel this way even though i know logically he has his own issues and there are parts of his life that are clearly lacking. I also tell myself that I can do what he has done....for example, he's lost a TON Of weight and I don't have as much to lose as him but I could do it too!! It's just that I've tried my whole life to lose weight, yo yoing up and down, struggling , and he goes and drops the weight just like that and is admired by all. It's not fair. He's a guy and it's easier for guys to lose. So he gets all this praise, meanwhile I can guarantee you I have worked harder if you add up all the years I have tried!!!

 

I didn't mean for this to turn into a weight loss rant. Bottom line is I think my jealousy is making this rejection sting more and I don't know why. Does anyone understand this???

[jobaba]

I don't understand why I'm feeling this way and I'm hoping that someone else has felt this way so I know I'm not crazy.... Well, I'll feel less crazy. If you've read some of my threads you know that I was rejected by a friend when it was turning into more about a year ago and I still am not over it. Okay, that's crazy enough. Here's the really weird part. Not only do I feel sad and rejected, but I feel really JEALOUS of him. I'm obsessed with him and I've been googling him like any obsessed person would, and I see all the endeavors he's undertaken and all the success he's had and what he's made of his life and I'm envious!! I feel this way even though i know logically he has his own issues and there are parts of his life that are clearly lacking. I also tell myself that I can do what he has done....for example, he's lost a TON Of weight and I don't have as much to lose as him but I could do it too!! It's just that I've tried my whole life to lose weight, yo yoing up and down, struggling , and he goes and drops the weight just like that and is admired by all. It's not fair. He's a guy and it's easier for guys to lose. So he gets all this praise, meanwhile I can guarantee you I have worked harder if you add up all the years I have tried!!!

 

I didn't mean for this to turn into a weight loss rant. Bottom line is I think my jealousy is making this rejection sting more and I don't know why. Does anyone understand this???

 

I know exactly how you feel.

 

Trust me...

 

This woman rejected me not too long ago under similar pretenses and I was freakin obsessed about it. People will tell you, "You guys didn't even date. Get over it yesterday already."

 

Well, not every two or thousand people are the same.

 

You just need to cut contact and stay busy yourself. Right now, you feel rejected and part of you wants to show the other person that you are doing better than them. That is actually good. Because it will make you angry and motivated.

 

But don't actually see what he's up to. Otherwise you'll never let go. Just forget it. No facebook, google, etc, nothing.

 

Dating other men will help too. Look into that.

 

But the most important thing is no contact or seeing what he's up to until you think you're ready.

[dasein]

Schadenfreude... it's a bitch. You are taking a good first step by airing it out here. Remove all reminders of him, don't look at FB, get busy in your life on something you define as productive that is a significant timesink. Good luck.