rov Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Well my ex and I broke up in mid december, since then she has contacted me on facebook several times and she is the one that always tell me to hang out with her, we have seen each other six times since the breakup and we had a good time with each other's companion. When I hung out with her she acted flirty and liked touch my face, hands, etc. She also made weird questions such as if I miss her and if I still love her. We hung out 6 times, each time she got physically closer to me, she even told me to massage her etc, she made collages of pics of us together, started to call me home and even told me to go to her family's events. All this started in february, toward the end of march it felt like if we were back together again. So on friday I confronted her and told her where she thinks we were going with all this and out of the blue she tells me: I dont want a relationship right now, I am very emotionally unstable and very immature but we can be friends and see what happens in the future, so I gave her a letter expressing all of my feelings and my perspective of the situation, she read it and in the night she sends me a message that she got she is sad and confused again because she saw me, that she thinks that maybe Im the one for her and that she doesnt know what to do. Well after all this she has contacted me three more times, the last time she told me that she got a new cellphone and that I should get one also so we can have conversations.... . Some background: When I met her she had a boyfriend, the broke up and she and I dated for a month and became a couple in october, she broke up with me a week later telling me she hasnt got over her ex, 4 days later we reconciliate, then 2 weeks later we broke up again because she tells me feels unstable and immature, then after this she keeps in contact with me. a week later she tells me that Im the one for her, that she loves me and that she feels stable, two weeks later same story happened and we broke up. A friend of her told me that when she broke up with me she returned to her ex for a week and then they broke up again because these guy doesnt treat her well. She and I broke up in december but Im sure that during that time she returned to this guy and broke up in february, I say this because she put some comments on facebook that said: Youll never forget the person you love but its better to be alone and all that crap. Two weeks ago she told me that when she dated me she was in love with me and that she had a great time, on friday she tells me that two weeks ago she thought about reconciliation but she got confused again. She told me that in her previous relationships she also got confused with her ex boyfriends and I remember when she was with the other guy she told me one day: I love him, he is the one for me and a week later she says: I dont see a future with him, he is not form me Im confused. She also has a very disfunctional family where the guy that lives with her mother hits her mom and her, when her father was married to her mom he broke her nose. When she was a child she lived with her aunts and grandmother because her mother didnt had enough time to take care of her because of work etc. Is she really messed up?, why does she change her mind all the time?, will she change some day?. . Is there any hope?. I feel depressed .
gibson Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 First rule of dating... Don't "steal" people / pursue people / date people when they are with someone else. Why? The way you get them, is the way you lose them. In your case... You have been and always will be... a rebound. 2
Author rov Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 But why does she keep rebounding between her ex and me all the time?
gibson Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) But why does she keep rebounding between her ex and me all the time? Your "Ex" (if we can even call her that) just got out of a LTR and she has G.I.G.S.... She is young, wild and free! She will be living it up, dating around, partying and having a good time. The last thing she is looking for is... love, relationship or a commitment. If you don't know what G.I.G.S., see below: "The Grass Is Greener" Syndrome Edited April 18, 2012 by gibson
Author rov Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 well the relationship that she had before mine lasted about 4 months, it wasnt that long but I think she has gigs, what do you think
gibson Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 She is young, still wants to date around and not be tied down. It's very common at her age.
Author rov Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 (edited) And you are right gibson she has gigs. She is a player. She has been flirting with a lot of guys recently Edited April 22, 2012 by rov
Author rov Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 And well three weeks after the last time I saw her she is dating a new guy.....
Author rov Posted May 11, 2012 Author Posted May 11, 2012 This girl is crazy, she dumped the new guy to return to her ex boyfriend.
jackjoynr Posted May 12, 2012 Posted May 12, 2012 Well there you have it. Do you really want to be with someone who's moods/decisions switch on and off like a light switch? She obviously doesn't know exactly what it is that she wants and that's fine. Go No Contact and let her be free. You both seem young. These are the best years to date around and explore. To save your own sanity I would stop worrying about this girl.
Author rov Posted May 13, 2012 Author Posted May 13, 2012 It impressive how she changes her opinion in a matter of days, has anyone had a relationship with an unstable girl? 2
iloveherthismuch Posted May 14, 2012 Posted May 14, 2012 ^ yeah my ex changes her mind on what she feels about me very often. it's really frustrating. she makes it seem like we're getting closer, which makes me happy because i want her back, but then when i push for a little more, she pushes me away and tells me to stop it and that she doesn't want me.
Author rov Posted May 14, 2012 Author Posted May 14, 2012 this is exactly the same situation I experienced, when I acted distant she got closer but when i told her that if she wanted to get back together she pushed away
Tiera D Posted May 16, 2012 Posted May 16, 2012 i have learnt through my ex that a women could only dump me once,unless its a very valid reason.I lost hope in second chances.Its over mate NC.. TD
shawn923 Posted May 17, 2012 Posted May 17, 2012 Same here bro. Im 23 shes 21. Not quite the same time frame as yours, but my ex also dates around heavy after she showed NO signs of being like that when we were together. I fully believe its GIGS. All me/you can do now is let her go, go strict nc, and FORCE her to mature. If she never matures, continue letting nc do its job until you no longer care. The longer you're in her face, the less chance she has to grow as a person. If you arent in her face, and doing NC, you become a mystery to her. This FORCES her to think twice about you, and it also speeds up her maturing process, to get out of GIGS... Its also best to date around yourself. It raises your own happiness level, and makes you more appealing to all women. Why not take chance with another woman? Im not saying get married, but definitely date, its fun
Author rov Posted May 21, 2012 Author Posted May 21, 2012 And guess what, she dumped the new guy and returned to her exboyfriend. she is really messed up. They will keep breaking up all the time, I know this story. I should keep this girl out of my life 1
Tree_Salmon Posted May 21, 2012 Posted May 21, 2012 It impressive how she changes her opinion in a matter of days, has anyone had a relationship with an unstable girl? If she was sheltered or a late bloomer then shes more likely to lash out and live for the moment later on. Doesn't matter that shes 23 or 33. I know 25-29 year olds who act like they're 17. She needs to get it out of her system and there is absolutely nothing you can do. She probably used you to break free from whatever was holding her down initially. Happens to us all. Trust me I feel your pain better than you know.
Recommended Posts