Managed to resist texting her only for her to text me day after about our anniversary

[MIK1000]

Some posters might remember on monday night, me on here making a thread about breaking NC and asking my ex from 7 months ago for a meet up. I was extremely close to doing it but resisted after taking advice on here.

 

Next day I wake up like its any other day, still missing her. At lunch time I get a text from her saying "Remember what day it is haha?" I hadn't remembered but realised once i checked the date this would've been our 2 year anniversary.

 

I replied "i do now, happy would've been anniversary. How's things?"

 

we've been texting back and forth yesterday and today, all of it very friendly and just catching up. She seems very interested but sometimes takes a couple of hours to text back, and I usually do the same so I don't seem overly keen.

 

I can't believe how close I was to breaking NC, thank god I didn't.

 

Just thought i'd keep you guys updated. I'll let you know if the texting leads to anything more.

[Pens55]

Dumper spider-sense. Its happened to me before too, really think about breaking NC, stay strong, then in the next day or two I get a text.

 

Dont let your guard down - you are purposely texting back slowly, she may very well not be. They have a way of giving you just enough to have hope....then disappearing again.

[MIK1000]

Dumper spider-sense. Its happened to me before too, really think about breaking NC, stay strong, then in the next day or two I get a text.

 

Dont let your guard down - you are purposely texting back slowly, she may very well not be. They have a way of giving you just enough to have hope....then disappearing again.

 

yeah I reckon i may need to cool it a bit. I've been reading back my texts to her and they are a bit long in hindsight and too conversational. Her's are too but I thought that it would be good to be friendly for now just to get the ball rolling like before.

 

Guard back up, chin down. I'm trying to expect the worst.

[Pens55]

Good thought process, hang in there and try to steer clear of reading into anything.

[MIK1000]

Good thought process, hang in there and try to steer clear of reading into anything.

 

Well now she hasn't replied to my last text ant it's been about 18 hours.

 

Trying to just take it in my stride and not be disappointed but really I'm on edge thinking she's about to text me any second.

 

It doesn't really make sense, her interests in the texts didn't wafer at all, she was asking just as many questions in the last couple of texts and in fact for those last two she was replying immediately rather than waiting a couple of hours.

 

But once again, I'm reading too much into it.

[Frank13]

I can't believe how close I was to breaking NC, thank god I didn't.

 

You did break NC by replying to her text.

 

 

Well now she hasn't replied to my last text ant it's been about 18 hours.

 

Trying to just take it in my stride and not be disappointed but really I'm on edge thinking she's about to text me any second.

 

It doesn't really make sense, her interests in the texts didn't wafer at all, she was asking just as many questions in the last couple of texts and in fact for those last two she was replying immediately rather than waiting a couple of hours.

 

She threw you breadcrumbs and you bit. It would have made no difference whether you had broke NC the night before or the next day like you did.

 

She was looking for an ego stroke and wanted to see if you were still there. You stroked her ego and let her know she has power over you to get you to talk. She got what she wanted so now she can mover on.

 

This is why you aren't supposed to break NC, even if they do.

[MIK1000]

You did break NC by replying to her text.

 

 

 

She threw you breadcrumbs and you bit. It would have made no difference whether you had broke NC the night before or the next day like you did.

 

She was looking for an ego stroke and wanted to see if you were still there. You stroked her ego and let her know she has power over you to get you to talk. She got what she wanted so now she can mover on.

 

This is why you aren't supposed to break NC, even if they do.

 

I should've maybe given you more of a back story.

 

She has got in contact many times over the last month or so, and appeared to be fishing to see if I was interested. I gave her very little indication of that by being very business like and not conversational. However, I was worried that since i want her back, this was the wrong response after all this time as she may be afraid of getting rejected by me. Hence why I came very close to texting her.

 

Now after her texting me, about her anniversary (a pretty big breadcrumb for me) i decided I would be friendlier and conversational. It remains to be seen wether or not that was a mistake or not. I don't think not replying would have helped me though.

[gotye]

Well now she hasn't replied to my last text ant it's been about 18 hours.

 

Trying to just take it in my stride and not be disappointed but really I'm on edge thinking she's about to text me any second.

 

It doesn't really make sense, her interests in the texts didn't wafer at all, she was asking just as many questions in the last couple of texts and in fact for those last two she was replying immediately rather than waiting a couple of hours.

 

But once again, I'm reading too much into it.

I would delete the conversation and even turn off my phone for periods of time that you can go without having contact with outside world so that

a. you won't see the conversation and remember how long ago it was

b. you won't constantly check ur phone for responses

[MIK1000]

I would delete the conversation and even turn off my phone for periods of time that you can go without having contact with outside world so that

a. you won't see the conversation and remember how long ago it was

b. you won't constantly check ur phone for responses

 

I need my phone on unfortunately.

 

I've stopped expected response unfortunately. I'm taking this in my stride better than I thought I would.

[Jadempk]

Don't be too hard on yourself, celebrate the small victories. I just completed 24hrs of NC! Yay!

[Pens55]

MIK - Thats what I was afraid of, we all think we can handle a little contact until the responses stop coming. Been there, done that. But Rome wasnt built in a day, take it in stride and remember how it made you feel the next time she comes sniffing around.

[MIK1000]

MIK - Thats what I was afraid of, we all think we can handle a little contact until the responses stop coming. Been there, done that. But Rome wasnt built in a day, take it in stride and remember how it made you feel the next time she comes sniffing around.

 

Yeah I am dealing with it better. She texted me again on friday though telling me about a twitter page, and a funny tweet she thought I would find funny. I didn't even find it particularly funny. This time I wasn't so conversational in my reply to her though and didn't make any effort to keep the texting going.

 

I expect I'll hear from her again in the next couple of days.

[HollyBolly]

Yeah I am dealing with it better. She texted me again on friday though telling me about a twitter page, and a funny tweet she thought I would find funny. I didn't even find it particularly funny. This time I wasn't so conversational in my reply to her though and didn't make any effort to keep the texting going.

 

I expect I'll hear from her again in the next couple of days.

 

Yes, but you did reply. She's got you by the balls, I'm afraid.

[MIK1000]

Yes, but you did reply. She's got you by the balls, I'm afraid.

 

If you want someone back and could be close to getting them back do u think you should still ignore them? Or rather be friendly but not overly interested?

[Laveli]

If you want someone back and could be close to getting them back do u think you should still ignore them? Or rather be friendly but not overly interested?

 

This......

[HollyBolly]

If you want someone back and could be close to getting them back do u think you should still ignore them? Or rather be friendly but not overly interested?

 

How can you be so sure you're close to getting her back? Explain this to me, please.

[MIK1000]

How can you be so sure you're close to getting her back? Explain this to me, please.

 

I didn't say i was sure, I said I could be.

 

I've had about 6 weeks worth of contact, including her friend telling me that I should consider getting back with her.

 

Her advances have been getting stronger by the week and I know she misses what we had, that I am sure of.

[MIK1000]

This......

 

which one?

[HollyBolly]

I didn't say i was sure, I said I could be.

 

I've had about 6 weeks worth of contact, including her friend telling me that I should consider getting back with her.

 

Her advances have been getting stronger by the week and I know she misses what we had, that I am sure of.

 

This is only my opinion, but 'could be' is not good enough. Is it possible for you to ask her if she's interested in getting back together? I find that the best approach is just to come right out and ask. You can't know what she's thinking unless you ask. This guessing business is going to kill you.

[MIK1000]

This is only my opinion, but 'could be' is not good enough. Is it possible for you to ask her if she's interested in getting back together? I find that the best approach is just to come right out and ask. You can't know what she's thinking unless you ask. This guessing business is going to kill you.

 

Yeah i agree that could be isn't enough at the moment. But If I straight up ignore her I think she'll take it to mean I want nothing to do with her and she'll move on. However If I keep being friendly, she might get more and more impatient as she fishes for me to make a move and finally she'll make the step.

 

I'm not willing to come out and ask her, certainly at the moment I don't feel much urgency to. I feel pretty easy at the moment, I also met a girl this weekend that gives me butterflies, probably nothing will happen with her but it makes me feel good that I'm feeling that for someone else and is making me almost feel like my ex isn't a priority.

 

I also realise that this is me sitting on the comfort that she has texted me recently and that maybe when she stops I will start freaking out again and want for her.

[HollyBolly]

What can I say? If you've met a girl whom you feel you can fall for, why not concentrate on her? Good on you, matey! Why still think about your ex? Let her go. Go NC. Wouldn't be fair on the new girl anyway, if you kept contact with your ex anyway, no?

[MIK1000]

What can I say? If you've met a girl whom you feel you can fall for, why not concentrate on her? Good on you, matey! Why still think about your ex? Let her go. Go NC. Wouldn't be fair on the new girl anyway, if you kept contact with your ex anyway, no?

 

It's not accessible with the new girl, we live far a part and I don't see any signs that she has any interest in me. It still feels good to be able to get that feeling for somebody else though.

[Frank13]

I should've maybe given you more of a back story.

 

She has got in contact many times over the last month or so, and appeared to be fishing to see if I was interested. I gave her very little indication of that by being very business like and not conversational. However, I was worried that since i want her back, this was the wrong response after all this time as she may be afraid of getting rejected by me. Hence why I came very close to texting her.

 

So you really haven't been no contact. You have been low contact, or business like contact, but not no contact.

 

As far as worrying about ignoring her, these message boards are filled with people who are pining over someone who treated them poorly or ignores them. I keep hating to quote this but I will - From the book "The Art of Seduction" - "Wounding people binds them to us more deeply than kindness". From the number of posts I see from people who got dumped for being a nice guy and those who are miserable over losing someone who treated them like garbage, I would say my quote is true.

[MIK1000]

So you really haven't been no contact. You have been low contact, or business like contact, but not no contact.

 

As far as worrying about ignoring her, these message boards are filled with people who are pining over someone who treated them poorly or ignores them. I keep hating to quote this but I will - From the book "The Art of Seduction" - "Wounding people binds them to us more deeply than kindness". From the number of posts I see from people who got dumped for being a nice guy and those who are miserable over losing someone who treated them like garbage, I would say my quote is true.

 

 

Yeah, sorry I should have specified that. NC after all this time wouldn't benefit me personally SO yeah, low contact.

 

You may be right. But I don't think that is always the case for the dumper, cause a lot of the time they will have too much pride. I should also add that I think my ex is timid enough to be scared off by me ignoring her.

[macardent]

Yeah, sorry I should have specified that. NC after all this time wouldn't benefit me personally SO yeah, low contact.

 

You may be right. But I don't think that is always the case for the dumper, cause a lot of the time they will have too much pride. I should also add that I think my ex is timid enough to be scared off by me ignoring her.

 

The one with more pride will win!.. you are the man in the relationship. SHOW IT!

 

Whenever I cared about the girl, she left. When I didn't she came back begging for it. So don't always give them what they want. You gotta love yourself more..