Keslove Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So recently I had a wild weekend where I unexpectedly had sex with 2 friends, 2 days apart (out of character for me). The first was a mutual 1 night stand hook up - haven't spoken to each other since. The second has mutual dating potential and we have been talking ever since. The 2 met once, but otherwise don't know each other. Normally I'd say the past is the past, but a few mutual friends know of my first encounter, and there is a chance word could get back around at some point. I want to be open and honest, and am really wondering whether I should spill the beans on it? Better to come from me than someone else is my thinking. Months in the past is one thing, but 2 days prior...could sting. Advice?
FitChick Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Why ask for trouble? You didn't have an agreement to be exclusive.
RiverRunning Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Why ask for trouble? You didn't have an agreement to be exclusive. I agree and don't. Something similar to this happened in my family. A cousin of mine slept with one of his sister's friends. Of course, there was a big gap in time between when he had sex with her and when he started dating his new girlfriend - close to a year. However, so many relatives and friends of his would carelessly make jokes about his one-night stand with the friend that he decided it best to come clean and tell her about their past experience. The girlfriend and the one-nighter have met since. Certainly uncomfortable, but, as the OP says about his concerns, it's BEST that it comes from his mouth, not somebody else's. The deciding factor is if your friends are trustworthy or not, OP. Are they? Is there a chance both women will meet (and that the one-nighter might be catty, even spill the beans)? If 'yes' to the first and 'no' to the second, I'd keep it a secret. But if it's the opposite, I would come clean.
xpaperxcutx Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Tread carefully. Having sex with two ppl who knows each other within days apart makes you come off as a player and scumbag.
oaks Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 At what point do you have the conversation about when you last got tested for STDs and when, in relation to that, you last had sex? That would seem to be a good time to not lie.
veggirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Don't tell her. I wouldn't! Do your friends really discuss each others sex lives??? How would it really get back to her? Who would tell someone else that? ETA: well yeah along Oaks post, if she asks or something, don't lie.
dasein Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Agree with others unless you are relatively sure it's going to get back to her. Odds are via Murphy's Law that it will, but it really shouldn't be a problem for the one you want to date. If it becomes one, make sure she understands this isn't your normal behavior. We have no idea which of our approaches or advances will result in sex, sometimes it rains, sometimes drought. What we do know is that if we stop approaching we become the rug instead of the tiger.
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Do not tell her about your one night stand. Hell, it's possible she had one herself.
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