naughtyowl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Is it better to be angry with your ex, even for something you know they didn't do but you assume they did, then it is to accept the truth and admit you were also at fault for things not working out? For example, my ex was so pissed off at me, saying I was dumping her for another women. Not only was this not true, but she was dumping me because of this mere assumption on her part. When I calmly explained this to her she got even angrier, saying that "anger was my salvation", admitting she'd rather believe I left her that way so I can be the "bad guy" in the situation to makes things easier for her. I've decided it's probably best to not stress the issue, because she now doesn't trust anything I do or say, but also because I don't want to hurt her more then she's already hurting, and maybe that means letting her believe her fantasies. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, you can't exactly do a comparison on these things. I would've done things differently if I could go back in time. What's done is done. But anyways, in general, does being angry for whatever reason help folks get over their ex? Also, is anger the ultimate indicator for how much you felt for another? Like, say you were dumped and not angry about it, but instead just extremely disappointed and depressed. Does that really prove you didn't care about them? Or do some people simply not display anger in the traditional trashing-about-screaming-uncontrollably way?
dsw31 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Anger has definitely been my salvation.I find being angry with my ex helps me not want him back as much.But,the feelings come & go.I also go through stages of sadness/depression.I like the anger though-it makes me stop wanting him.I wish I could stay angry! Your ex probably goes through phases too-anger to sadness to denial & back again, over & over.
Author naughtyowl Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 But explosive people who hurl objects or scream at others may be at greater risk for heart disease Anger Effects on Your Heart: Heart Disease, Atherosclerosis, and More I just worry about folks who constantly struggle with this, and wish I could help
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Is it better to be angry with your ex, even for something you know they didn't do but you assume they did, then it is to accept the truth and admit you were also at fault for things not working out? For example, my ex was so pissed off at me, saying I was dumping her for another women. Not only was this not true, but she was dumping me because of this mere assumption on her part. When I calmly explained this to her she got even angrier, saying that "anger was my salvation", admitting she'd rather believe I left her that way so I can be the "bad guy" in the situation to makes things easier for her. I've decided it's probably best to not stress the issue, because she now doesn't trust anything I do or say, but also because I don't want to hurt her more then she's already hurting, and maybe that means letting her believe her fantasies. I'm not sure if I did the right thing, you can't exactly do a comparison on these things. I would've done things differently if I could go back in time. What's done is done. But anyways, in general, does being angry for whatever reason help folks get over their ex? Also, is anger the ultimate indicator for how much you felt for another? Like, say you were dumped and not angry about it, but instead just extremely disappointed and depressed. Does that really prove you didn't care about them? Or do some people simply not display anger in the traditional trashing-about-screaming-uncontrollably way? Anger helped me; I would rather be angry than crying over him.but....It's better to feel nothing and be indifferent; a peace comes of you and it's not a thorn in your side anymore. But. Don't be angry over things you assume or things that are not his fault. Being honest with yourself is the very best thing. After awhile I changed from being angry at the ex to being angry at myself for putting up with and falling for his antics.
staringspace Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I think it's fair to be angry - but the reasons for being angry are subjective. Some people might think that the dumpee/person that is angry is doing it for unprecedented reasons, and some may think that they have good reason to be. For me, anger is just a stage of getting over it - especially after what he's done, and I'm hoping it's just something I need to go through to get peace on the issue, since I rarely get angry and especially never at my ex. I prefer to believe that anger is better than crying, anyway. I'm not aiming it at him directly - bitching at people does give me peace of mind, especially when my mates agree (both guys and girls) that he's been a total ******. So yeah. Anger is helping, but I'm hoping it'll die down eventually, if not completely, enough for me to move on properly. 1
Philosoraptor Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Anger is fine and you should allow it to pass. The issue comes with what you do with said anger. If you use it as motivation to better yourself, then great. If you're using it and screaming/yelling at your ex, you will just be ashamed of yourself later and continue to build the cycle. 2
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