Author Kamille Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Hahah, but you inherently wouldn't know who said secrets were, so you'd be flirting recklessly with blind eye...unless that was the whole point if this revelation... But that would be fun. It would be fun. Imagine a city filled with easy-going, drama-free, not overly-invested in their ego, flirts. And maybe I should say I'm someone's best kept secret. I don't imagine every man would dig what I have to offer. But the man who does is in for a treat. Treat = ripe melons.
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It was seriousness (I quite like the OP) with some... confusion? As in, I'm glad she likes herself, but it's... strange to create a thread being happy about how amazing she is. I think if I did that, I'd get laughed and mocked off the fac eof the Earth. But, I have a few female friends who do the similar things on FB, and are applauded for it. ("I am the most amazing person, I'm not an average girl in any way!" "Yeah you're amazing!") and I've never understood it there either, so... must just be that I'm in a different reality than others. I think it would be a strange thing to do on FB, but on a relationship board as motivation and positivity to the many posters who are suffering from heartbreak and/or low self esteem? Yeah, I think it's a good post. It's really like the 'Post here if you love your SO' threads - they're there to lift up the tone of this place and to give people hope that genuine love exists. 1
reallyhotguy Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It would be fun. Imagine a city filled with easy-going, drama-free, not overly-invested in their ego, flirts. Like, Gomorrah?
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Sounds like your pretty modest and down to Earth. I really appreciate that in women. I'm not sure what you expect in a mate but I'd probably go out on a date with you based on just what you wrote. I wouldn't even want to see a picture. And that doesn't mean I'm desperate. I have a girlfriend and I wouldn't date many women who have posted here whose pictures I also have not seen. I'm similar in that most of what I think I offer is on the inside. I really do think I'm a really good catch. I'm a good guy and when I get a woman I treat them like gold. My attitude towards dating is admittedly pretty sh@tty a lot of the times, but that's because I've faced a lot of rejection. But I'm finding ways to work on my bitterness issues. Those have never really ever come out when I get into a relationship with a woman, so I don't think it's a huge issue, but one I am cognizant of nonetheless. FWIW, as long as you do your best to keep the bitter attitude in check, I think you'd make a great bf, also. I guess that's why I'm frequently amused at people whose 'requirements' for a partner are mostly, or worse still, solely, superficial ones. Those do not necessarily a good partner make. What is inside, and the willingness to treat your partner right, does.
Author Kamille Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 they're there to lift up the tone of this place and to give people hope that genuine love exists. Minimally, it showcases that there are various attitudes to dating. A few of the posts on this thread (not mine alone) show that, for some people, dating is a fairly painless process. I don't want to set any of us up as standards, but IMO it's good to know that such attitudes are possible. 1
betterdeal Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 FWIW, as long as you do your best to keep the bitter attitude in check, I think you'd make a great bf, also. I guess that's why I'm frequently amused at people whose 'requirements' for a partner are mostly, or worse still, solely, superficial ones. Those do not necessarily a good partner make. What is inside, and the willingness to treat your partner right, does. And a big willy. 1
USMCHokie Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It would be fun. Imagine a city filled with easy-going, drama-free, not overly-invested in their ego, flirts. And maybe I should say I'm someone's best kept secret. I don't imagine every man would dig what I have to offer. But the man who does is in for a treat. Treat = ripe melons. Luckily I love ripe melons. What are your thoughts on berries...? 1
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Minimally, it showcases that there are various attitudes to dating. A few of the posts on this thread (not mine alone) show that, for some people, dating is a fairly painless process. I don't want to set any of us up as standards, but IMO it's good to know that such attitudes are possible. Definitely. I think there is almost always some pain involved in maintaining a R through the ups and downs of life, but getting into one really isn't necessarily the hellish torture that some describe. It has always been a pleasurable process for me, especially those first few weeks/months. It's an amazing feeling, discovering someone new whom you connect with so well and closely. Then again, I was also single for many years in my teens and did not mind, so I suppose if I had indeed been desperate for a R, it would be pretty hellish for me.
ThaWholigan Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Wow, a positive thread that went past the 3 page mark? Today must be casual friday Honestly, I am cultivating the same view of myself, and trying to add some more substance in my life to back it up.
Author Kamille Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Wow, a positive thread that went past the 3 page mark? Today must be casual friday Looks down. I am wearing jeans.
jobaba Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 FWIW, as long as you do your best to keep the bitter attitude in check, I think you'd make a great bf, also. I guess that's why I'm frequently amused at people whose 'requirements' for a partner are mostly, or worse still, solely, superficial ones. Those do not necessarily a good partner make. What is inside, and the willingness to treat your partner right, does. Yes. I agree. And I usually can keep it in check. Of course, the internet is cold, impersonal, and anonymous. Just because I believe the majority of women have a certain attitude doesn't mean I think ALL women think that way. But my posts are usually geared towards helping other men, and from my experience it's helpful to be aware of that. And just for the record, even though we've disagreed often on what the majority of women want, I don't think you're in that majority. It's also totally fair to want a smart guy if you're a smart woman. I have a memory like an Indian elephant.
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Yes. I agree. And I usually can keep it in check. Of course, the internet is cold, impersonal, and anonymous. Just because I believe the majority of women have a certain attitude doesn't mean I think ALL women think that way. But my posts are usually geared towards helping other men, and from my experience it's helpful to be aware of that. Hey, you're entitled to your opinions! I do think it isn't terribly helpful for the men to keep reinforcing that, because then they're more likely to give up and less likely to get with the women whom they would actually be compatible with. And just for the record, even though we've disagreed often on what the majority of women want, I don't think you're in that majority. It's also totally fair to want a smart guy if you're a smart woman. I have a memory like an Indian elephant. You certainly do. :lmao::lmao:FWIW, intelligence is by no means the sole, or largest requirement for me either, although it's likely to be my most prominent superficial one. I do however rate stuff like 'how he treats me' above and beyond that.
betterdeal Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Definitely. I think there is almost always some pain involved in maintaining a R through the ups and downs of life, but getting into one really isn't necessarily the hellish torture that some describe. It has always been a pleasurable process for me, especially those first few weeks/months. It's an amazing feeling, discovering someone new whom you connect with so well and closely. Then again, I was also single for many years in my teens and did not mind, so I suppose if I had indeed been desperate for a R, it would be pretty hellish for me. It's not so much an event as a process, and if you can enjoy the process, then that makes it worthwhile. That is what a relationship *is* - the processes.
verhrzn Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I think it'd be great if you started a thread about your good points. :Half joking: Why do you want to hurt me?... I created the thread as part of an affirmation and as part of a counter-balance to the threads on here which are anxiety focused. And notice, nowhere in my OP did I say that I was the most amazing person. I said I have a lot of great qualities that make me approach dating in a fairly anxiety-free way. I really believe that the man who will fall in love with me will be a lucky man. Not because I'm outstanding at anything, but because I think I'm a pretty kick ass person. (One is not the same as the other). Well, as I said, good for you, I just don't get the idea. I mean, if something is awesome and doesn't need to change, why talk about it? Still, neat for you and all.
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It was seriousness (I quite like the OP) with some... confusion? As in, I'm glad she likes herself, but it's... strange to create a thread being happy about how amazing she is. I think if I did that, I'd get laughed and mocked off the fac eof the Earth. But, I have a few female friends who do the similar things on FB, and are applauded for it. ("I am the most amazing person, I'm not an average girl in any way!" "Yeah you're amazing!") and I've never understood it there either, so... must just be that I'm in a different reality than others. I don't think what the OP wrote was anything like, "I'm the most amazing person" (which seems odd -- I do write sometimes that I have an amazing life, etc, out of gratitude, but anyone who needs to call themselves out superlatively is weird). Kamille's OP doesn't do that. What it does is signal an attitude towards dating that she currently enjoys. A very healthy positive attitude! She's being an optimist. Dating optimism ftw, I say. Go, Kamille! 1
reallyhotguy Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I don't think what the OP wrote was anything like, "I'm the most amazing person" (which seems odd -- I do write sometimes that I have an amazing life, etc, out of gratitude, but anyone who needs to call themselves out superlatively is weird). Is it weird? I do that all the time. 1
FitChick Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Luckily I love ripe melons. What are your thoughts on berries...? I prefer nuts.
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Is it weird? I do that all the time. On FB, without context, it might be, if it were truly superlative. Like if your handle was "hottest guy" I'd find that weird, but "reallyhotguy" -- well, that's just a description. 1
Author Kamille Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Hey, you're entitled to your opinions! I do think it isn't terribly helpful for the men to keep reinforcing that, because then they're more likely to give up and less likely to get with the women whom they would actually be compatible with. To me this goes back to what Neverdated about being able to accept that people either like me or they don't. Other people are allowed to decide they don't see me as their life partner without me turning it into a case against all men. And like she said, this doesn't change the fact that I will eventually meet the right guy for me. Similarly, I get to decide who I choose to let into my life. Not everyone will fit, but once I find him, I'm not going to let him go. If love was easy to find, we wouldn't value it as much as we do. Too big a focus on the negative aspects of the other gender is pernicious for two reasons: 1. It might make people give up or reinforce bitterness or 2. It might make them indiscriminate about who they let into their lives. I'm often left with the impression that people who believe "all women are drama-queens" are more likely to put up with poor behavior (or less likely to express their boundaries properly, or bother to focus on building a relationship). Note: #1 is likely the result of #2. It's a vicious cycle. 1
USMCHokie Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I prefer nuts. Oh...all I seem to have to offer are these tiny pistachios... Awww, nuts... 1
freestyle Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I prefer nuts. Well, you came to the right place, then---no shortage of nuts here...... 3
verhrzn Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 To me this goes back to what Neverdated about being able to accept that people either like me or they don't. Other people are allowed to decide they don't see me as their life partner without me turning it into a case against all men. And like she said, this doesn't change the fact that I will eventually meet the right guy for me. Similarly, I get to decide who I choose to let into my life. Not everyone will fit, but once I find him, I'm not going to let him go. If love was easy to find, we wouldn't value it as much as we do. Too big a focus on the negative aspects of the other gender is pernicious for two reasons: 1. It might make people give up or reinforce bitterness or 2. It might make them indiscriminate about who they let into their lives. I'm often left with the impression that people who believe "all women are drama-queens" are more likely to put up with poor behavior (or less likely to express their boundaries properly, or bother to focus on building a relationship). Note: #1 is likely the result of #2. It's a vicious cycle. How do these focuses explain people who never have anyone enter their lives? (Of which there are multiple examples here on LS.) More specifically, people who can't attract anyone?
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