barriob Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So its been a month amd a half of not talking. I think he is done this time. I have tried texting/calling him but he just ignores me. when he ignores me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and it makes me feel pathetic when he doesn't respond. I dpnt eant to hurt anymore. Its almost going to be 11 months since thw breakup. I need advixe. Help. Should I back off for a while and gove him space??? Im tired of chasing him. I wiah he woild look for me instead. And the last time we spoke he didnt even say a goodbye..
Philosoraptor Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 He is done. Do what is best for yourself and leave him alone to cut off your own false hope. Take care of yourself as you need to take the focus off of him and onto making your own life better. 1
geegirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So its been a month amd a half of not talking. I think he is done this time. I have tried texting/calling him but he just ignores me. when he ignores me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and it makes me feel pathetic when he doesn't respond. I dpnt eant to hurt anymore. Its almost going to be 11 months since thw breakup. I need advixe. Help. Should I back off for a while and gove him space??? Im tired of chasing him. I wiah he woild look for me instead. And the last time we spoke he didnt even say a goodbye.. I can't understand you at all. Go back and read all the threads posted and all the replies given. At this point it's safe to say that you probably need therapy to help you dig yourself out of this self-destructive behavior. You are choosing pathetic behavior. No one to blame but yourself. You make choices that determine the outcome of your life. HE DOES NOT WANT TO BE WITH YOU. HE DOES NOT WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU. Please try to get this into your head and heart. Go back and read all the posts. 3
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So its been a month amd a half of not talking. I think he is done this time. I have tried texting/calling him but he just ignores me. when he ignores me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and it makes me feel pathetic when he doesn't respond. I dpnt eant to hurt anymore. Its almost going to be 11 months since thw breakup. I need advixe. Help. Should I back off for a while and gove him space??? Im tired of chasing him. I wiah he woild look for me instead. And the last time we spoke he didnt even say a goodbye.. I think you have given yourself the only advice you need: when he ignores me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and it makes me feel pathetic when he doesn't respond. I dpnt eant to hurt anymore. . You are setting yourself up for pain by expecting an outcome; try to contact and get nothing. And that hurts. Not to put too fine a point on it, but you are 100% in control of this. Stop texting altogether. That way you remove the (probably very high) chance of not getting anything back and being in pain. And every time you do this you are setting yourself back. Just...stop! 1
geegirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) Dang we all replied at the same time! You were off by a minute Barriob: You have created thread after thread about this man rejecting you and only wanting you for sex. I posted a list of your threads showing you a pattern, day one through the months. The pattern has not changed. He does not want to be chased. He does not want to be with you. He's even told you that several times. And you keep doing the same thing over and over and over again. You either accept this for what it is and start your journey to healing (try therapy) or you continue crucifying yourself. Also understand that your behavior, doesn't attract him to you but only pushes him away because no man finds a woman who behaves this way attractive or appealing. It is a turn off. You have two choices, that's it. Edited April 18, 2012 by geegirl 2
Author barriob Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Yeah. Well how do I kinda get him to talk to me in the future, or possibly think of it.
geegirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) Yeah. Well how do I kinda get him to talk to me in the future, or possibly think of it. You don't get him to do anything he does not want to do. You don't get him to think of anything he does not want to think of. You can't make him talk to you. You can't make him think of you. He's already showing you now that you mean nothing to him. There is no way to rekindle interest when he's consistently rejecting you. This man has literally spit on you. Rejected you time and time again. Treated you like a a piece of meat. Ignored you like the plague. And you want to talk to him? So you can get treated the same way? He's your friend? No, friends dont treat you that way. So why is it that you need to talk to him? Hopefully rekindle the fire? He has no fire for you. He has no attraction for you. You've lost all value in yourself. You know why? You put yourself in such situations that strip you of your dignity and your self-esteem. And you continue to do it. I want to come there and shake you. Or tie you up, take you up a mountain and detox the crap out of you. There is a thread that you posted about how to get yourself back again. You received many helpful responses. Go back and read it and save yourself. And this time, READ. Replies are not for skimming over because it's not tying in with your obsession but for reading, absorbing and learning. Edited April 18, 2012 by geegirl 2
HollyBolly Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Yeah. Well how do I kinda get him to talk to me in the future, or possibly think of it. Are you really that masochistic? 3
spicolli Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Basically your e acknowledging that youre reading all if these responses, but youre just ignoring them. Its insulting to the people that are taking time out of their day to offer heartfelt advice. At this point you need to stop looking for help and help yourself. You're going to WASTE years of your life chasing something that doesn't want to be chased. Your eidealizing a man that doesn't exist. I've done just this (with a girl though) and I can tell you from experience, it is not worth it.AT ALL! 2
M2155 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Yeah. Well how do I kinda get him to talk to me in the future, or possibly think of it. Disappear for about 6 years. Build some self-confidence and self-respect. Get a life that is full and amazing with hobbies, good friends and people who actually aknowledge your exisitence. Get to the point where you could care less if this was the last dude on the planet. Reread ALL your old posts to remind yourself it's not worth it. Then call him.
geegirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Why do I call him? The Best Revenge Is Living Well. That is what M2155 is trying to tell you. Once you've reached a stage in your life where the scumbag means nothing to you, then if you want to call, go ahead and call. Just... Don't call at 6:45PM today. Don't call tomorrow. Don't call next week. Don't call a year from now. If you're so hung up on calling him, call when you don't give a crap about him and life is going great for you.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So its been a month amd a half of not talking. I think he is done this time. I have tried texting/calling him but he just ignores me. when he ignores me, it makes me feel like I did something wrong and it makes me feel pathetic when he doesn't respond. I dpnt eant to hurt anymore. Its almost going to be 11 months since thw breakup. I need advixe. Help. Should I back off for a while and gove him space??? Im tired of chasing him. I wiah he woild look for me instead. And the last time we spoke he didnt even say a goodbye.. If he doesn't answer your texts he is either a)desperately wanting to talk to you but is trapped under something heavy and can't get to his phone..b)He's busy shampooing his hair or c)He's not interested and doesn't want to be bothered. You say it makes you feel pathetic when he doesn't respond....but it makes you look pathetic when you call and call knowing he won't respond. Think about this. He's moved on; it's been 11 months; you should move on as well. Why chase after someone who clearly isn't interested?
Author barriob Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 I get it but he always comes back when I least expect it. So how is he not interested?
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I get it but he always comes back when I least expect it. So how is he not interested? why do you want someone who ignores you?
geegirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I get it but he always comes back when I least expect it. So how is he not interested? No, you don't get it. You keep asking the same questions. When someone is interested in you, their attention is consistent. You then establish a connection that progresses to deeper and different levels. It's dependable. It's healthy. It's consistent. It's present. Treating you like crap and then coming around sniffing is a man just looking for an ego boost. You were demoted from girlfriend to f*** buddy, and now he's hoping he can get you to manage your feelings so he can get his physical needs met. Then you go all emotional on him and he runs as fast as he can and ignores you for a little. When he thinks you've calmed down, he sniffs again, hoping you get the picture. Interest is when someone comes to you and declares a need to want to be with you, have concern for you, extend kindness to you, consistently. Interest is not something that comes sniffing around when you least expect it. Interest is not someone treating you like a piece of meat, yesterday's newspaper or something under your shoe. I don't know where you dropped your self-respect and dignity, but you better find it soon because you are definitely going to have much emotional problems in your future relationships, if you don't get yourself together. 1
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 OP needs to wake up and smell the toast burning.
geegirl Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 OP needs to wake up and smell the toast burning. Seven months of threads, all of the same pattern. "Interest" would have transitioned to something positive by now. But it's all but stagnated or more so regressed. I hope you get this Barriob. 1
HollyBolly Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 7 months is a long time. Barriob? It is about time you woke up. There are people on here really willing to take time out of their lives to give you advice. Yet, you ignore them. You keep asking the same s**t over and over, hoping for a different answer. You're not going to get one. Know why? Because we have all been hurt the same way and found a way to move on. It was not an easy journey for us, but we took it. Why? Because, as it turned out, it was easier and less painful than the journey that you have planned for yourself. It was hard at first but necessary. The journey you have paved for yourself is, if not an impossible one, a terribly painful one. You are not even trying to rekindle. You are trying to pick up someone else's trash. Are you really a garbage man? MUST you stoop that low? I guess you have... Get a grip! You are better than this. Or are you?
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