lovemovesme Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So I posted one other time on this forum and having been reading people's stories non-stop. My background information can be found at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/321562-sigh-you-cant-spell-danger-without-anger Well It's been 18 days no contact and i thought that this would get easier but it's not. I have had absolutely no contact since the break up. All except me waking up crying in his room because i slept over the night we did break up since i was too distraught to drive. I didn't talk to him then. He hugged me goodbye and that was it. I feel like i'm at my peak of loneliness. I miss him like crazy. I guess writing in this forum is helping me continue no contact, which is soo hard. I'm kinda in the in between stage where I want him back but I know I shouldn't. I feel like my strength is sapped. I wish it were easier to move on. I keep thinking about him constantly and still wish that he would call me. He put this idea in my head that at the three week we would re-evaluate our relationship and might get back together. I really wish he didn't say that. I am really anxious today because the three week point is coming up. On one hand, I realize that if he doesn't call me that i should move on but on the other hand, I desperately just want him to hold me and tell me that he loves me. I know it will get easier after the three week point but i hate him for putting that idea in my head. I feel like i'm going to have a break down if he doesn't call me because then i'll have finally for good realized that we are really over. I have no idea what to do. I don't want to never talk to him again. I can't take this any longer. It REALLY doesn't help that a mutual friend told me that he missed me. What should i do? i've tried staying busy but i feel like my body is still immobilized by my feelings of loss. Other then that i've been trying to put my mind on my work. I don't know what else to do. He was a major part of my life for three years. I know it's going to get easier but it's not going to until i know without a doubt that we're done forever. Any suggestions of what i should do would be greatly appreciated. This is killing me inside.
Philosoraptor Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I would continue to focus on myself here, and not expect anything from him. Many times the "we'll see" is just a way to relieve the guilt. It's not easy, but it does get better. Just determine that you are going to take the best care of yourself right now no matter what happens. 2
callmegee Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I'm kinda in the in between stage where I want him back but I know I shouldn't. I feel like my strength is sapped. I wish it were easier to move on. I keep thinking about him constantly and still wish that he would call me. Hey there, I know how you feel as I recently went through a bad break up and was stuck in that "in between stage" you mentioned... Found it hard to move on, miss him, wondering if i did right.... etc... To get out of it, I had to force myself to take up a new hobby & put all my spare time and energy into it for several weeks straight. That helped take my mind off him and at this time, you have to force yourself to stop waiting by the phone. Increase our activities, or since you're online, watch "How to Salsa" videos on YouTube or something you'll enjoy. Just keep yourself occupied. You'll be feeling better soon. Trust me!
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 So I posted one other time on this forum and having been reading people's stories non-stop. My background information can be found at http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/321562-sigh-you-cant-spell-danger-without-anger Well It's been 18 days no contact and i thought that this would get easier but it's not. I have had absolutely no contact since the break up. All except me waking up crying in his room because i slept over the night we did break up since i was too distraught to drive. I didn't talk to him then. He hugged me goodbye and that was it. I feel like i'm at my peak of loneliness. I miss him like crazy. I guess writing in this forum is helping me continue no contact, which is soo hard. I'm kinda in the in between stage where I want him back but I know I shouldn't. I feel like my strength is sapped. I wish it were easier to move on. I keep thinking about him constantly and still wish that he would call me. He put this idea in my head that at the three week we would re-evaluate our relationship and might get back together. I really wish he didn't say that. I am really anxious today because the three week point is coming up. On one hand, I realize that if he doesn't call me that i should move on but on the other hand, I desperately just want him to hold me and tell me that he loves me. I know it will get easier after the three week point but i hate him for putting that idea in my head. I feel like i'm going to have a break down if he doesn't call me because then i'll have finally for good realized that we are really over. I have no idea what to do. I don't want to never talk to him again. I can't take this any longer. It REALLY doesn't help that a mutual friend told me that he missed me. What should i do? i've tried staying busy but i feel like my body is still immobilized by my feelings of loss. Other then that i've been trying to put my mind on my work. I don't know what else to do. He was a major part of my life for three years. I know it's going to get easier but it's not going to until i know without a doubt that we're done forever. Any suggestions of what i should do would be greatly appreciated. This is killing me inside. Really? He told you at the 3 week mark you could re evaluate? And what is he doing in these 3 weeks? Why exactly 3 weeks? Can't believe he put a time on it, lOL. He put you through all of this and you would gladly take him back? Sounds like he was trying to cushion the blow. Stay NC, it's for you to heal and move on.
Author lovemovesme Posted April 21, 2012 Author Posted April 21, 2012 I broke no contact after 20 days. I texted him "I miss you ." he called back within two minutes and we talked for about 10 minutes and he invited me over his house. I went. we talked about everything. He put the three weeks idea in head to ease the feeling of guilt. He thought three weeks was enough time to heal enough and take a step back from the relationship and see things in a new light. We are not getting back together. Again he comforts me even when I told him I'm talking to someone else. (Side Note: This other guy sounds like a rebound but for right now he genuinely wants to friends. He is not rushing me at all and I'm going to take my sweet time. He understands.) I indirectly told my ex that I wanted to get back together, pretty sure my exact words were "I don't want to move on. I wish I could just stay here with you." stupid? Yes. I think I wanted that because I wanted to stop the way I was feeling but I know it would have prolonged my heart ache now and that i would have been way messed up with in the future. Totally does not help that I slept over or had sex with him twice. I got everything I wanted out our talk. We both broke down about our feelings and we each what we wanted. I got the key to my house back and he got the cables he wanted back. I am going no contact again and feel like this stint of no contact is going to be totally rejuvenating. I don't actually need anything from him. I know it's over for good and I finally found out the reason he didn't want to marry me. I finally got the closure I needed. We are done and I can finally move on.
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