ThumbingMyWay Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 This is awesome....96nole-ver.2.0 has arrived... she did not expect you to man up. She thought she could just push you around like she has before. Good for you....and as much as it hurt....look at it this way. You just took back control. After this, there is no way She, or any other person is going to interfere with what is in your best interests. This is a huge hurdle you just overcame....and you prolly dont even know it yet. You took charge of you...."cat ashes"...thats awesome too.... your going to be just fine brother.... At one point towards the end of the day and they were getting frustrated the mediator came in and said that she's tired of all this and doesn't want to ever see me or talk to me again. So some how this is all my fault still. She took the steps to lie and cheat, but somehow it's my fault that I'm not just laying down and letting her have what she wants. For most of our relationship, I let her have what she wanted, except some big ticket items. So i guess she didn't think that I was going to stand up for myself. As much as it hurts, I had to do what is best for me. She sure as hell isn't thinking of what's best for me when she's f*cking him.
2.50 a gallon Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 I am a little concerned with your share of her 401K. "In a few months . . ." I hope you have it in the paper work that it is in your account before you vacate the house. What assurances do you have that she can not withdraw her funds without giving you your share Racing is a total money pit, and from what I smell he is after her bucks and he will talk her into withdrawing her funds an putting them in his race car, before he departs. And gird yourself, she might come calling once he has spent all of her money
Author 96nole Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I am a little concerned with your share of her 401K. "In a few months . . ." I hope you have it in the paper work that it is in your account before you vacate the house. What assurances do you have that she can not withdraw her funds without giving you your share Racing is a total money pit, and from what I smell he is after her bucks and he will talk her into withdrawing her funds an putting them in his race car, before he departs. And gird yourself, she might come calling once he has spent all of her money Hmmmm. Good point. I'll ask about that. We have all the paperwork of what she has. It's in the agreement of what she currently has, when the 401k was started and the marriage dates. So if she does deplete it, which I honestly don't think she will, there may be some recourse from the court. But I'll ask my lawyer. Thanks Oh and I doubt she'll be back. She told the mediator that she was tired of it all yesterday and didn't want to see or talk to me again. And she's still pissed the divorce papers have in there that she took money, hid money, had an extramarital affair and was spending our money on him. She tried to have that all removed. Nope!
Furious Posted April 27, 2012 Posted April 27, 2012 96nole Glad to hear you handled the mediation well. Good job!
Author 96nole Posted April 27, 2012 Author Posted April 27, 2012 I am a little concerned with your share of her 401K. "In a few months . . ." I hope you have it in the paper work that it is in your account before you vacate the house. What assurances do you have that she can not withdraw her funds without giving you your share Racing is a total money pit, and from what I smell he is after her bucks and he will talk her into withdrawing her funds an putting them in his race car, before he departs. And gird yourself, she might come calling once he has spent all of her money I asked my lawyer and she said that if she did it would be proven dissipation of funds and she would be in some serious trouble for it. I wouldn't mind the loss of money if she would get jail time for it. 3
Author 96nole Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 The D will be over sometime in May. Don't know which date yet This is awesome....96nole-ver.2.0 has arrived... she did not expect you to man up. She thought she could just push you around like she has before. It's not that she pushed my around. Most of the time I let her have what she wanted because I didn't really care what it was that we were getting. If we were deciding between 2-3 things, most of the time I was fine with either things and would say to her, "which ever one you want" But after I found out about the cruise, that's when the gloves came off. I was already scheduled to go to my lawyers office that afternoon to write up the divorce papers. I was going to have a general divorce paper written up. When I told my lawyer about the cruise, she jumped out of her chair. She was even disgusted by it. So the divorce papers became much more truthful of the ex's actions. I had already planned to tell her that she was going to be served before hand. The cruise changed my mind. So she was served at work, in front of her boss, and she didn't know it was going to happen. I talked to the ex that night and she kept saying that it wasn't the way she wanted it. She wanted it to be a quiet divorce. Oh well. I didn't want a cheating whore for a wife. I'm slowly becoming ver 2.0. I was with my counselor yesterday. I told him how I still think in terms of us and we. Example: I was looking in the pantry the other day and said "do we have any popcorn?" and I caught myself saying "we". Then I said "do I have any popcorn?" It's going to be a slow process. I still miss her. I'm a little down this morning. But I have to keep reminding myself of the woman she's become, not the woman she was. 1
Wanderer25 Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 She told the mediator that she was tired of it all yesterday and didn't want to see or talk to me again. And she's still pissed the divorce papers have in there that she took money, hid money, had an extramarital affair and was spending our money on him. How do you do that to your partner of so many years? An affair will not make her so shameless. She hid her trueself all this time from you.
findingnemo Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 96, you're a lucky man if this is the end of it. Your W must be cursing right now. Good job!!
Furious Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 Hey 96 I was just thinking, how about taking that Criuse when the divorce is final. You, the sea, a lots of pretty women on board. Just an idea.
Author 96nole Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 Hey 96 I was just thinking, how about taking that Criuse when the divorce is final. You, the sea, a lots of pretty women on board. Just an idea. OK. But you're coming with me.
Author 96nole Posted April 28, 2012 Author Posted April 28, 2012 How do you do that to your partner of so many years? An affair will not make her so shameless. She hid her trueself all this time from you. I always knew there was a little bit of a nasty side to her. But I didn't think she would be that bad. Or that nasty towards me. During mediation. I asked why God was putting me through this. My lawyer said that he is testing me. I said that I better have passed. I'm not the one that's been lying and cheating. I had a couple of opportunities during the marriage to cheat. I didn't. I'm the one that's been following the rules during this process. I'm not the one that was hiding money. I produced all the financials that I was supposed to. She didn't. There better be an A on top of my test. 1
Furious Posted April 28, 2012 Posted April 28, 2012 OK. But you're coming with me. Sorry, I won't be able to join you on that cruise, I booked an all inclusive with my husband in hell, I pretty sure everyone on LS has been there.
Author 96nole Posted April 29, 2012 Author Posted April 29, 2012 Sorry, I won't be able to join you on that cruise, I booked an all inclusive with my husband in hell, I pretty sure everyone on LS has been there. Yep, still in hell. Just not with the whore.
Author 96nole Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 Begin Rant Yesterday I signed up for an apartment. It's a two bedroom, two bath, on the 3rd floor of a nice apartment complex. It's a corner apartment so I don't share any walls with anyone and I'm on the top floor so nobody is above me. I can start moving in a week before I have to be out of the house, so I don't have to rush moving. I just talked to my lawyer and apparently, the ex won't have to refinance to get my name off the mortgage. We haven't seen all the paperwork yet, but even my lawyer was surprised by that. She said most banks require a refinance. I was under the impression that I would have to refinance and cough up $40-50,000 cash up front. If had known that I wouldn't have to refinance, I may have kept the house. We're not sure if it's a Wells Fargo thing or because she is an employee. On the plus side, I did a rough estimate in my head that I can save about $500-$600 a month with the apartment. Her monthly payment will stay at the higher non refinanced amount and have all the other bills. But they are going to be in my house, playing house, without having to cough up all that cash. GRRRRRRRR!!!! Even though I've been looking out for myself, I've also wanted to keep her from getting what she wanted. End Rant
Radu Posted May 1, 2012 Posted May 1, 2012 It's because she is an employee. Think this way ... the house is tainted and has an evil spirit inside. Not to mention that she will get very nasty looks from the neighbours, these things get out. 1
Author 96nole Posted May 1, 2012 Author Posted May 1, 2012 It's because she is an employee. Think this way ... the house is tainted and has an evil spirit inside. Not to mention that she will get very nasty looks from the neighbours, these things get out. Oh the neighbors know what she did. I made sure they knew. But then again when she moves back in with the dirtbag, they would figure it out. Radu: just wondering how you know it's because she's an employee?
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