Art_Critic Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Why is everything autmatically creepy? I'm a creep and I know it but I don't understand why. What is a creep? Just because someone knows something thru using google doesn't mean they should use that info.. ie: public records.. It would be creepy if a woman on a first date (when I was single) told me my address or how much my house is worth, if I am on the board of any corporations or even mentioned the day my divorce was final.. all that info is public record Because info can be found thru the internet is NO reason to use the info.. fact finding and using it are 2 separate things... I'm all for being safe and using all options available to do checks on people who are going on dates but that info should be kept close to the chest. 1
AngelDollFace Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Pink, I'd be FREAKED out too. Run. You did the right thing. That crosses the "cute line" by miles and goes straight into the stalker lane. Creepy. This is a guy who might be nice but do you really want to date someone who is going to search through your phone, etc- constantly looking for something? He sounds like that type. Crazy. 1
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You are a freak. Run not walk. hahaha. Yes it was dumb but you women react like maniacs. Always amusing to see how often when confronted with bad or inappropriate male behavior towards gals there's that typical response of "overreacting" or "Yes but". So how is she a freak because she has the boundaries of not wanting a guy who'd look her up and use her professional email address using only her first name as she didn't give him her last when he already has a way to contact her and private communicate with her?
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Always amusing to see how women decide what's appropriate and inappropriate. Egh most guys and gals determine what is appropriate and inappropriate for themselves. There's general things but many differ especially in regards to how they wish a partner or potential to behave. Complimenting a woman on her nice dress or earring is very bad. To some gals it's very bad, to others it's very good. A good looking guy sticking a hand inside a woman's blouse, good because he's good looking, never mind that he's dangerous. To some gals it's very bad, to others it's very good. Though do these gals know he is dangerous? the behavior here was mildly bad but you women rate it like stalking. So looking up information about a person they did not give you and using it without their knowledge or permission or telling them isn't showing some behavior stalkers tend to exhibit? So if a person comes into contact with you and knows the area you live it it's only mildly bad if they research your address and show up at your doorstep? I already saw you put hypersensitive prick at the post detailing how one guy had a gal look up his email to get his work phone and then called him. He already had a way to contact her and privately communicate with her. He could have asked for a personal or professional email or another contact way. He chose to use her first name only as she didn't give him her last name to look her up on her company's website contact directory. A man who can't take no for an answer is bad but women marry that type of man reguarly. You are so ****ing screwed up. Gals also regularly marry guys who can take no for an answer.
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Arguing with you is like arguing with a wall. says the one with illogical and most likely bitter generalizations.
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Always amusing to see how often when confronted with bad or inappropriate male behavior towards gals there's that typical response of "overreacting" or "Yes but". Always amusing to see the lengths women will go to to manufacture their next "creepy" drama fix. Today it's a guy sending an email to work, tomorrow maybe a guy who said "hi" on the street, next week someone who asks to sit at a table in a crowded coffee shop. The world is indeed a very "creepy creepy creepy" place. It's amazing some women are brave enough to even get out of bed in the morning.
PlumPrincess Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Always amusing to see the lengths women will go to to manufacture their next "creepy" drama fix. Today it's a guy sending an email to work, tomorrow maybe a guy who said "hi" on the street, next week someone who asks to sit at a table in a crowded coffee shop. The world is indeed a very "creepy creepy creepy" place. It's amazing some women are brave enough to even get out of bed in the morning. Come on, be honest with yourself her instead of blindly defending men. - Work is work. You don't go and use a work email for private purposes if you don't know that person well and if she didn't give it to you so you can contact her. Especially, if you already have another way to contact her. Just because the information is on the internet, doesn't mean you should use it for that purpose. - Digging for information about someone on the internet is something that people do, yes, I did it as well, but I won't tell them about it, because I know it's creepy and reeks of obsession! It's not cute or anything. It's like going through her trash to find out what her favorite food is. Or stalking her a bit to learn how she prefers to spend her free time - "Oh, I saw you like an hour ago and thought it would be a nice idea to follow you, so I can observe what kind of person you are outside of a dating setting. I also thought it would be a great way to find out where and what you like to buy so I can get you a really great surprise gift one day." 2
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Always amusing to see the lengths women will go to to manufacture their next "creepy" drama fix. As I said always amusing the typical response of "overreaction", "yes but". Seems creepy leaves men butthurt when used by women so now many wash or diminish/excuse/minimize women using it as it's just an ego boost or drama. Today it's a guy sending an email to work, Forgetting the context already? He already had a way to contact her and privately communicate with her. He could have asked for a personal or professional email or another contact way. He chose to use her first name only as she didn't give him her last name to look her up on her company's website contact directory. So you'd be okay with someone you met knowing the area you live in and using it to find out your address and show up at your doorstep? tomorrow maybe a guy who said "hi" on the street, next week someone who asks to sit at a table in a crowded coffee shop. The world is indeed a very "creepy creepy creepy" place. It's amazing some women are brave enough to even get out of bed in the morning. It's amazing how you're able to forget the context, twist words and spin what you want rather than be logical and see what's presented. Yet in this case you say it's women who manufacturer. He already had a communication channel. He could have asked for her another way of contact if he wanted. He chose not to. To me if she wasn't keen on giving him her last name I wonder why he thought she'd be keen on giving him her email address. Perhaps he realized she wouldn't so he decided to take that option away from her.
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Come on, be honest with yourself her instead of blindly defending men. I don't think he can if honesty means men are at fault, behaving badly, acting inappropriately, or viewed negatively in some way and there's no by and large disclaimer stating it's only a minuscule small very few select amount of men it applies to.
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Come on, be honest with yourself her instead of blindly defending men. Women can and have ferreted out my email to send me a joke, come-on, etc., sometimes women I don't even know, let alone have dated. I get friend requests on FB from people I hardly know or don't even know. They are free to use data they find on the net or that I tell them to call, email, etc. N...B...D. Women have called 411 and gotten my phone number and called me, finding an email on a public webpage is not one bit different. N...B...D. We don't live in a world of calling cards and formalities any more. If women can feel safe having 600 FB friends whom they barely know, if they can feel safe working in the average workplace and sharing information about themselves as part of their jobs, then they can feel just as safe with some dude who sends them an email at their work after going on a date with him. It's not a matter of blindly defending men. Have always said it's OP's right to nix men based on this, but that doesn't mean I don't find it silly and alarmist to do so or call the man in question "creepy."
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) We don't live in a world of calling cards and formalities any more. If women can feel safe having 600 FB friends whom they barely know, if they can feel safe working in the average workplace and sharing information about themselves as part of their jobs, then they can feel just as safe with some dude who sends them an email at their work after going on a date with him. Egh a bit overreaching there to tell them what women can feel safe with. As well as you're assuming this woman is like those that have 600 FB whom. Does this mean if your assumption is wrong then she gets to define her own boundaries of what she feels safe with and finds appropriate and inappropriate in a partner or potential? It's not a matter of blindly defending men. Have always said it's OP's right to nix men based on this, but that doesn't mean I don't find it silly and alarmist to do so or call the man in question "creepy." So is it silly and alarmist to nix a gal/guy or call a gal/guy creepy if you tell them the town you live in and they use that information and your first name to get your home address and show up at your doorstep? I think the following would be a case of blindly defending men: I wonder at the things women classify as "creepy" today though, and at the oveuse of that particular term. Are those who overuse it really the fragile, timid, thin-skinned ingenues such overuse implies? It's like some of you caught a guy trying to peek in the window at a slumber party. "Ewwwww Creeeeeeepy!" Childish IMO. So is the way it is expressed childish or it's childish to find it creepy for a guy to trying to peek through a window to most likely in hopes of being aroused at the people attending the slumber party? Edited April 19, 2012 by udolipixie
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 As I said always amusing the typical response of "overreaction", "yes but". This guy was mildly presumptuous, the end. Keep trying to list out all the things he could have done to make him look criminal and fluff up what he actually did into the "crime of the century!" Any woman who has ever walked into a bar at night unescorted, given her phone number to a stranger, gone on a blind date such as an OLD, has a FB page with lots of people she doesn't really know, and sympathizes with OP's strict view on this is a total hypocrite, at least where the "creepy" factor is concerned. It's amazing how many women are all "independent this and independent that" when it represents advantage for them, and then in the blink of an eye are scared, timid little children when it suits them to act like such in furtherance of a drama addiction or just being bitchy and judgmental. Complete hypocrites.
PlumPrincess Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Women can and have ferreted out my email to send me a joke, come-on, etc., sometimes women I don't even know, let alone have dated. I get friend requests on FB from people I hardly know or don't even know. They are free to use data they find on the net or that I tell them to call, email, etc. N...B...D. Women have called 411 and gotten my phone number and called me, finding an email on a public webpage is not one bit different. N...B...D. We don't live in a world of calling cards and formalities any more. If women can feel safe having 600 FB friends whom they barely know, if they can feel safe working in the average workplace and sharing information about themselves as part of their jobs, then they can feel just as safe with some dude who sends them an email at their work after going on a date with him. It's not a matter of blindly defending men. Have always said it's OP's right to nix men based on this, but that doesn't mean I don't find it silly and alarmist to do so or call the man in question "creepy." Women who do this: crazy Men who do this: creepy Did you consider any of these women to be dating material (I think the Facebook thing is kind of normal)? In general, I tend so see these women as silly, infatuated schoolgirls. Men worry me more, because they tend to become aggressive faster when they feel rejected.
udolipixie Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 (edited) This guy was mildly presumptuous, the end. Presumptuous is a toss up. To me if she wasn't keen on giving him her last name I wonder why he thought she'd be keen on giving him her email address. Perhaps he realized she wouldn't so he decided to take that option away from her. I know plenty of women who have walked into a bar at night unescorted, given her phone number to a stranger, gone on a blind date such as an OLD and none have a FB page with lots of people she doesn't really know. To me you can't really call the OP's view on this being a total hypocrite as you're going by your generalizations and assumptions that she's one of the women who has 600 FB she barely knows therefore going by your dictation she should feel save with a guy finding out her email address and using it to contact her. Quite interesting that you find it turning into scared, timid little children to find it inappropriate or find it creepy that someone who you didn't even give your last name to goes to your company website using only your full name to get your email address when they already had a way to contact you. As well as how you added on drama addiction, bitchy, and judgmental. Show me where/when I listed out all the things he could have done to make him look like a criminal. The only thing I listed that he could have done was that he could have asked for an email, professional or personal. How did I fluff up what he actually did when I list out all the things he did? He already had a way to contact her and privately communicate with her. He could have asked for a personal or professional email or another contact way. He chose to use her first name only as she didn't give him her last name to look her up on her company's website contact directory. Nice repeated evasion. So is it silly, alarmist, and acting like a timid scared child to nix a gal/guy or call a gal/guy creepy if you tell them the town you live in and they use that information and your first name to get your home address and show up at your doorstep? I think the following would be a case of blindly defending men: I wonder at the things women classify as "creepy" today though, and at the oveuse of that particular term. Are those who overuse it really the fragile, timid, thin-skinned ingenues such overuse implies? It's like some of you caught a guy trying to peek in the window at a slumber party. "Ewwwww Creeeeeeepy!" Childish IMO. So is the way it is expressed childish or it's childish to find it creepy for a guy to trying to peek through a window to most likely in hopes of being aroused at the people attending the slumber party? Edited April 19, 2012 by udolipixie
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Women who do this: crazy Men who do this: creepy Did you consider any of these women to be dating material (I think the Facebook thing is kind of normal)? In general, I tend so see these women as silly, infatuated schoolgirls. Men worry me more, because they tend to become aggressive faster when they feel rejected. No, not everyone who uses public information to get ahold of someone is a mental case, or an opportunity for creepy/crazy calling, and yes, I did see them as dating material, went on dates with some. Most reasonable people think it's flattering to get approached by a stranger in this way, LET ALONE someone one has ALREADY DATED. Too many women and some men in this country have had their POV polluted by Lifetime "rapist in the bushes" movies. If crazy bad people want to do you wrong, they aren't going to start by sending an email to your work after a date, and if they did, becoming unduly annoyed and nexting them is certainly not going to prevent them from pursuing real criminal behavior, so all this "feeling safe" talk that inevitably surfaces when this type of topic comes up is just arglebargle nonsense, similar to the "feeling safe" excuses for female vanity in the "short guy" threads. The guy was mildly presumptuous, the end. And have had my say on this topic, agree or disagree. Please god if I ever find a woman's email address from a company webpage and send her an email, and she thinks that's creepy, please dear lord, let her reject me outright so I can move onto less high maintenance prospects. Amen.
PlumPrincess Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 No, not everyone who uses public information to get ahold of someone is a mental case, or an opportunity for creepy/crazy calling, and yes, I did see them as dating material, went on dates with some. Most reasonable people think it's flattering to get approached by a stranger in this way, LET ALONE someone one has ALREADY DATED. Too many women and some men in this country have had their POV polluted by Lifetime "rapist in the bushes" movies. If crazy bad people want to do you wrong, they aren't going to start by sending an email to your work after a date, and if they did, becoming unduly annoyed and nexting them is certainly not going to prevent them from pursuing real criminal behavior, so all this "feeling safe" talk that inevitably surfaces when this type of topic comes up is just arglebargle nonsense, similar to the "feeling safe" excuses for female vanity in the "short guy" threads. The guy was mildly presumptuous, the end. And have had my say on this topic, agree or disagree. Please god if I ever find a woman's email address from a company webpage and send her an email, and she thinks that's creepy, please dear lord, let her reject me outright so I can move onto less high maintenance prospects. Amen. Have you ever done or would you ever do anything similar?
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Have you ever done or would you ever do anything similar? OK one more post here and that's it. Yes, posted about it earlier in the thread. Sent a very cheap ($2) gag gift to a woman at her work based on jokes we had made on one OLD date. She loved it, and on our next date, "loved" me. And yes, on a business level, I do this almost every day. I read business newspapers for leads for networking contacts and my services. I then go to the webpages of the applicable businesses and either call or email the people mentioned in the article or whomever I want to talk to at the company. Sometimes I am looking for clients, sometimes just to network with another center of influence, sometimes just to share info on a onetime basis, sometime to say hi to a friend of a friend. Of course not all these people want to network with me or even know me, lots do though. NONE have ever insinuated that what I was doing was "creepy" or out of line. Professional businesspeople understand the value of networking, whether the connotations are social or strictly business, at least those who become successful do. Now you may be thinking, "well this isn't the same thing." It most certainly is the same thing. The people I mail to don't know me at all, we didn't have a date or an introduction even. Lots are women. They, and I, though, made a decision to put personal information in the public sphere in hopes that reward outweighs risk. I could be a mass murderer for all they know! or sending emails from the back seat of their car where I'm hiding waiting for them to go to lunch, or... the possibilities are endless. The fact is, though, that when we work in public known companies, we assume the risk of certain public information being "out there" for whomever's use. By some public sector nebbishy stranger danger sense of impropriety, am I being presumptuous in the above, I guess so. And that leads us back to what the guy did was mildly presumptuous, not some crime.
Imajerk17 Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 Back in college (1990's), I met a girl at a party. All I had to go by was her first name and where she lived. So I looked up the yearbook to get her last name, and then I used the student directory to call you. She actually thought it was cute that I went through so much trouble to find her. I get that it's a different time now, but still.... We actually met up too.
g450 Posted April 22, 2012 Posted April 22, 2012 That's your prerogative despite the analogy being completely inapt. Finding someone's work email on a public web page based on them telling you where they work is not equivalent to the much greater effort and possible criminal activity involved in finding an unlisted phone number and then violating someone's implied expectation of privacy by using it. Again, it was mildly presumptuous in the way sending a card or flowers to her work would have been, no different at all, if anything, less involved than a card or flowers would have been. Certainly not a "stranger danger" episode in and of itself. I sent an inexpensive gag gift to a woman's work after a single date once despite her not giving me her work address based on something we had joked about on the date. It blew her away, and the next time we saw each other, she blew me... away All a matter of compatibility in style and perspective. Well I see it this way. It was intrusive enough to cause PITL to feel uncomfortable enough to post about it here. Nuff said. He crossed her boundry. But it's really up to her at this point. I think some people here tend to forget that a WORK ADDRESS can and most often is monitored by the company that owns it. I know they do for a fact where I work. That is why I use MY Own address for personal stuff. I cant believe most of you are not understanding the importance of this. Somebody else at her job or their IT dept will be reading his private emails to her. Not cool! So how is keeping her job and her private life private overeacting? I just dont understand some of you people.
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