staringspace Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 After my ex broke off 3 1/2 years of involvement with me, 6 weeks later and I've got this anger inside me that just won't go away. After him cheating on me, being emotionally unavailable and selfish, he went and got a new girlfriend just after a month - and I've never felt anger like this before. I often feel like I want to hurl abuse at him (even though it's been NC for a while) and I'm just so furious that he seems to have moved on so quickly, after all the **** he put me through. I was doing well until this whole new girlfriend situation, and the fact I vaguely know her doesn't help - I feel like he doesn't deserve to 'move on' that fast after everything I've been through. I want to get over this anger, but I'm finding it so hard. It's getting in the way of my studies and it's just there in my head, and I would enjoy nothing more than to kick him in the balls, very hard, right now. I've established that I don't want him back - but the fact I've got no potential guys that I could see to take my mind off things, and that I'm having problems at home with my dad, makes everything so much worse and I feel incredibly lonely at the same time. I just feel like I've got so much bad luck at the moment, and I just feel so resentful that my ex seems to have a lot of good luck. Can anyone give me advice about getting over the anger towards an ex? Today I'm really struggling with it. Note: I've done everything possible to get him out of my life. I've blocked off his facebook, given back his stuff, erased him from my life so to speak. 1
Philosoraptor Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 You're still overly concerned in what he is doing. It's fine to be angry, but use that motivation to better yourself... not bring another down. What bad luck do you have? Everyone has bumps in their life but you were given the reward of losing someone who as you said was a cheater, emotionally unavailable, and selfish. Addition by subtraction. It's all a matter of perspective. You're feeling negative so you're seeing the negative. Look for the positive in your life and that's what you'll see.
Chi townD Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Go to the Gym and I'm being very serious about this. Go to the gym and run your butt off on the treadmill and push some weight. It's an awesome outlet for stress and frustration. After you leave the gym, I guarantee you you'll feel a little better, Plus your well on your way to improving your self-image by getting a tone and totally hot Bod! Try it, it works.
smudge21 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 6 weeks? That's not really a great amount of time to get over someone. Anger is just another emotion, much like still loving someone so much after being dumped. It sucks as it eats away at you and you can't force it out, in the same way you can't force yourself to get over someone and move on. It will happen when it happens. You're doing the right things in removing all contact and anything that reminds you of him, so that's the first steps, but don't expect sudden changes. You got to remember, that a dumper already emotionally moves on way before they do the dumping, whereas the dumpee has that sudden hurt they have to deal with. You know different then so many on here. You may find eventually that that anger turns to other emotions. You may even find it go completely and then come back months later for some unknown reason. I guess what I'm saying is, there's no pattern or rules for this... just do whatever you can to make yourself feel better.
yessy21 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I have been there. Unfortunatley. U know what happened to my ex after years of goodluck? him and his girlfriend became crackheads and he lost his amazing job his new car and he lives in the street. ANd im as happy as a whistle today. It took 3 years for that to happen. Patience is a virtue. Their relationship is fresh. New. Thats all. u need to concentrate on ur life instead.... how can u be with someone if you cant be in a good place in ur life?
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Getting over the anger may not be what you need right now. Perhaps you would be better off embracing it. If you ignore it there is a chance it will come out in unhealthy ways. Anger in and of itself is not a bad thing, especially if you have been wronged. That being said, how you respond to that anger is where things can get ugly. Can you channel it? Work out vigorously, run, work extra hard, etc. Or maybe find a safe spot to destroy some memorabilia, bury it, burn it, etc. Anger can actually be healthy....it's rage that you have to watch out for. 1
shayla Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 6 weeks? HA! I was still angry after a year! And I don't mean just angry, I wanted to cause that man physical pain. It's okay if you are still angry. You can work through that in time. If after some time, perhaps seek out a therapist who can help you through the worst of it.
Recommended Posts