oaks Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Sometimes when I be walking and cross paths with a couple (its obvious they are together) the guy would start holding hands with his girl. Maybe you're scary looking. 1
Author Overthirtymale Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Honestly I don't care if a couple is already holding hands strolling along, that is great. But to start doing when I guy like me strolls by, yes that is insecurity.
namenottaken Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It's not suspicious at all. But most hand-holding and arm-around-waist gestures in public are less about affection, and more about possession. You'll see people give little gestures like this all the time. In general it's meant to establish territory. This exactly. I know what the OP is talking about. Almost every time my boyfriend and I go out, when we enter a room (or wherever), out comes his hand to rest on my back, my shoulder or he grabs my hand. We hold hands at other times and show affection, but it’s the timing of that gesture that dictates the intent. I don’t know why the OP would be offended. He probably does the same thing (unconsciously) when he is with someone.
bosunmate Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Honestly I don't care if a couple is already holding hands strolling along, that is great. But to start doing when I guy like me strolls by, yes that is insecurity. Do you really think its all about you....
RiverRunning Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 A sign of insecurity? Maybe more just staking a claim if the hand is suddenly grabbed. When I was with my ex, I loved holding his hand. He was more of a "Hold my arm, lady" type though. Still romantic. Sigh... Sometimes it's just nice to feel together. Sure, sometimes it's nice to broadcast to everyone watching, "This guy is MINE." Sometimes it's a little bit insecurity. Most of the time, a lot of it is loving your partner and wanting to be close.
NeverDated Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Honestly I don't care if a couple is already holding hands strolling along, that is great. But to start doing when I guy like me strolls by, yes that is insecurity. No, insecurity and territorialism are not the same thing. An insecure man would believe his partner was looking elsewhere. He would attempt to prevent her from noticing your presence. If it's truly because you are nearby, it's a territorial action. It's intent is to alert you that she is off the market. It has nothing to do with her - all she thinks is her man is holding her hand. Male lions aren't "insecure" for marking their territory - it's a warning to other males, stay back, this area is mine. Since I've become pregnant, I've noticed my boyfriend is more territorial. He's closer to me, usually holding my hand or putting his arm around me, especially when other males are nearby. It's a totally subconscious natural protecting action to prevent other males from attempting to infringe on his territory.
dasein Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Since I've become pregnant, I've noticed my boyfriend is more territorial. He's closer to me, usually holding my hand or putting his arm around me, especially when other males are nearby. It's a totally subconscious natural protecting action to prevent other males from attempting to infringe on his territory. There could be an element of that, but likely more because he thinks you might be more off balance or susceptible to slipping or injury when pregnant, rightly or wrongly. I stand closer to elderly women and pregnant women I'm around for the same reason. Had one fall on me just a couple months back.
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Not, insecurity, just what others have said: - claiming - dont get ideas I still consider this insecurity. This happened just today: I was eyeing an attractive (to me) girl across the cafe, didn't even see the guy behind her (cuz I'm blind I guess), then I saw two hands pull her close from behind and I looked over and it was the guy behind, and he was looking directly back at me... probably because I was eyeing her. And I thought of this thread. Nothing wrong with it. I'd probably do the same. I'm never insecure. Just the law of the jungle or whatever. And I respected it and stopped looking at her because NOW I knew tha she was taken. Heck, I don't appreciate guys eye humping MY girlfreind in public either. So, I would do the same. To me it is simply a respectful gesture tween men, no insecurity anywhere. It is a simple signal.
january2011 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Unless you are particularly scary looking, a gesture from a stranger in an encounter that lasts only a few seconds, is unlikely to be due to insecurity. I think it's more likely to be the case that the guy did that to give you more room to pass by. Bringing the girlfriend closer to him would decrease the distance between the two of them but also gives you more room to get past. So a sign of good pavement etiquette and not insecurity. What you might want to consider more annoying is the people who keep holding hands and insist that everyone stands aside to let them walk by, hand-in-hand.
yongyong Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 yeah I think you are thinking too much. how about this situation? Let's say you are hitting on a girl at the bar. this guy shows up and puts his arm around her. you can kind of say he is insecure about his GF might cheat on him.
FitChick Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 I stand closer to elderly women...Had one fall on me just a couple months back. You and Hokie should go to the next AARP meeting. Plenty of women will fall for both of you. 1
dasein Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You and Hokie should go to the next AARP meeting. Plenty of women will fall for both of you. ROFL. It was my MOTHER who fell on me, but will keep the AARP in mind, at least they can't run away that fast and have great scrips.
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