dasein Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You know what? He may have looked at PORNO while doing all this spreadsheet nefariousity too!!! The HORROR! 2
TheBigQuestion Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Well how awesome to know that guys are out there cataloging the women they date based on their superficial qualities, and color-coding them based on interest level with comments like "bang once." Real eye-opening. It's no different than making mental notes of the exact same characteristics. Why concern yourself with how a stranger you've never met characterizes his dates?
OliveOyl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I think the only creepy thing was that he sent it out. Other than that, he's just catalogued what most guys probably have bouncing around in their head. I have an affinity for spreadsheets and databases; if I had gotten much deeper into online dating I could see myself doing that type of thing (but never, NEVER shown it to anyone else).
fishtaco Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I vote for only creepy/stupid because he sent it out. First of all, I'm not even sure if this is multidating. He was just corresponding with them on some OLD site. I don't do OLD so I don't know, but I'd expect it to be quite normal, for both genders, to be communicating to a bunch of people on OLD. And only a fraction of those will make it to a real life date. Anyway, even when multidating, and I mean REAL multidating, it's about don't ask don't tell. I automatically assume everyone I'm dating to be seeing other guys, but I'm not going to ask. I expect the same out of them. Whoever asks that question is ready for exclusivity, because that is the ONLY time that question deserves an answer. Before that, spreadsheet or not, it's classified information. I can only multidate 3 at a time. I have band practice, I have friends, I have muay thai, and sometimes, I want to play video games. So I never need a spreadsheet. But I can see very dedicated guys dating like 7 women, then yeah, it'd be kind of difficult to keep track. I have a female friend, who is now in an LTR with a baby even, much to my shock. She used to give the guys she's dating nicknames. So if she calls them the wrong nickname, she could play it off like she just gave them a new one. Brilliant!
phineas Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You know what? He may have looked at PORNO while doing all this spreadsheet nefariousity too!!! The HORROR! Probably had dual screens. Guy like wouldn't shift windows around. 1
RedRobin Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Am I the only one thinking we need to set up Duke girl and Mr. 'Jappy' on a date? They seem made for each other! Cheer up guys.. Maybe the Duke girl will find her kindred spirit with all the publicity about Mr. Jappy... they can compare spreadsheets... have a good laugh, and live happily ever after :love: 1
phineas Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 It's no different than making mental notes of the exact same characteristics. Why concern yourself with how a stranger you've never met characterizes his dates? Because some women on this forum just look for ways to be personally insulted / offended by men whether they know that man or not it appears.
TheBigQuestion Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Because some women on this forum just look for ways to be personally insulted / offended by men whether they know that man or not it appears. That's more or less right. I think the more accurate way to characterize female LS regulars is that they tend to take personal offense to any comment that suggests that one gender is more likely than another to behave a certain way. They also don't know how to respond to generalizations about a gender without injecting how they are an exception to the generalization. "Well I'm not like that!" is essentially the theme in those cases.
threebyfate Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 This is pretty funny! When I used to multidate, never bothered beyond a maximum of three, most often at two. But I too maintained notes per date on my phone which included what I wore, to prevent duplicate outfits. The notes were tidbits of info about the guys so I could keep our discussions straight. But to send this type of info to the winner is beyond socially inept. 1
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I don't think it's creepy, but I do think it's just a weeeee bit obsessive. You know, like the WoW players who spend hours a day creating spreadsheets for their loot and talent trees and optimizing their stats. I wouldn't be surprised if he has other, hopefully mild, manifestations of OCD or Aspergers.
phineas Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I don't think it's creepy, but I do think it's just a weeeee bit obsessive. You know, like the WoW players who spend hours a day creating spreadsheets for their loot and talent trees and optimizing their stats. I wouldn't be surprised if he has other, hopefully mild, manifestations of OCD or Aspergers. elitistjerks.com. They do it for me so I don't have to. LOL!
Professor X Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I don't think it's creepy, but I do think it's just a weeeee bit obsessive. You know, like the WoW players who spend hours a day creating spreadsheets for their loot and talent trees and optimizing their stats. I wouldn't be surprised if he has other, hopefully mild, manifestations of OCD or Aspergers. I used to do those calculations a few years ago 1
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 elitistjerks.com. They do it for me so I don't have to. LOL! Yep, the elitistjerks guys are a large portion of the people that I'm talking about.
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I used to do those calculations a few years ago ROFL. Aww, don't worry, an ex of mine used to do them too.
Professor X Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 ROFL. Aww, don't worry, an ex of mine used to do them too. It's quite simple really
phineas Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 the only thing I use spreadsheets for is to track my lifts & weight. 1
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 It's quite simple really Aye, but it's just not something that the average person would do. Same with the guy in the OP's article, eh?
phineas Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 For tracking women.....well I have two much younger acquaintances I occasionally hang out with if i'm in their neck of the woods. Their best friends & don't go anywhere without each other it seems. anyways I have them in my phone listed under PITA1 & PITA2 LOL! That's about the extent i goto.
Andy_K Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I used to do those calculations a few years ago I call your spreadsheet, and I raise you one C# application written to optimise all possible gear combinations for maximum damage output
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 being organized=not ready for an ltr? girl selection is pretty funny sometimes. No, his comments show he's not ready for a LTR. A guy who was looking for that would use it not to remember if he liked the woman or not (he'd be automatically eliminating any women he was even the tiniest bit unsure about so he'd have a much shorter list) but to detail more important traits than the ones listed here, if he needed to at all. I actually said I liked the organization, though as a very organized person, I do tend to prefer disorganized men myself. His comments reveal someone who's not looking for a LTR, though. I wouldn't say poor character -- just not mature enough for a real LTR.
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I call your spreadsheet, and I raise you one C# application written to optimise all possible gear combinations for maximum damage output I had no idea Rawr was written in C#.
Author verhrzn Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 That's more or less right. I think the more accurate way to characterize female LS regulars is that they tend to take personal offense to any comment that suggests that one gender is more likely than another to behave a certain way. They also don't know how to respond to generalizations about a gender without injecting how they are an exception to the generalization. "Well I'm not like that!" is essentially the theme in those cases. Yeah I just couldn't possibly be offended by the idea of this guy categorizing women like they're objects, reducing their humanity down to a qualities like "nice bod," and making offensive comments like how a girl is worth only a "once and done." I have no idea why you guys keep turning this into a men-women thing. I'd be offended if a woman did this to men too. Why are you so insistent on turning it into a gender war and how irrational female posters are??
TheBigQuestion Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) Yeah I just couldn't possibly be offended by the idea of this guy categorizing women like they're objects, reducing their humanity down to a qualities like "nice bod," and making offensive comments like how a girl is worth only a "once and done." I have no idea why you guys keep turning this into a men-women thing. I'd be offended if a woman did this to men too. Why are you so insistent on turning it into a gender war and how irrational female posters are?? That post was admittedly off-topic and I actually didn't direct it to you at all. However, there is a huge difference between women I meet in real life and the regulars who post on LS. Real-life women can actually take a joke and dish it right back. On the other hand, on LS pretty much everything is offensive and misogynistic, and if you criticize any negative behavior more prevalent in women than in men (such as a general lack of accountability for actions), forget it. In real life, it's easy to avoid the women who would react to everything in such a sensitive manner: they don't shave their legs and they never shut up about "rape culture" or the "patriarchy." I actually showed my girlfriend this exact link. Her reaction was essentially the same as mine: it was dumb and MAYBE borderline creepy to send it to someone. But actually having a spreadsheet characterizing the physical and personal characteristics of potential dates? She didn't find that offensive at all and actually thought some of the descriptions were pretty funny. My suggestion to you is to stop projecting your self-loathing and insecurities onto the ways other people choose to characterize their dates or otherwise conduct their dating lives. You can be as offended as you want. It won't change where you are in your life. Edited April 18, 2012 by TheBigQuestion 3
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 On the other hand, on LS pretty much everything is offensive and misogynistic, and if you criticize any negative behavior more prevalent in women than in men (such as a general lack of accountability for actions), forget it. Clearly you do not fall into the same trap, judging from your total lack of heated responses in gender war threads. IRL, most people I know are less 'sensitive' than people on LS, in almost virtually anything. Honest to god, I don't know ANY man IRL who discusses who pays on dates in the same way LS guys do - they either pay or they don't, they don't go on for aeons and aeons and aeons about it, at most they crack a couple of wry jokes about women and free lunches, and move on. Equally so, yes, the women can joke about porn, hot celebrities or anything of the sort. Being 'overly sensitive' to topics on LS is most certainly NOT a negative behaviour more prevalent in women than in men. Pretty sure both genders have, cumulatively, equivalent responses here, just to different triggers. 1
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 TBQ, plenty of women here have reacted with essentially the same sentiment that your GF takes about this article. Personally, I don't like his descriptions, but they don't "offend" me, and the only creepy part was sending it to a potential date (you and your GF ALSO think that's weird). That doesn't mean it's the only valid opinion on it, but this was something that never needed to be turned into a gender issue. If instead, daesin had simply said, "Hey, here's a woman who did this too" and saw what reaction women truly had --- instead of assuming the same women who have a problem with it when the guy does it will not when the women does -- all gender controversy could've been taken out of this discussion, really. Personally, I find the man's gender a non-essential component of assessing how weird this practice is or isn't. fwiw, this often happens when someone is all confrontational about "cheap men" or whatever in a thread like that which spouts out a gender war. It's more the means of communication on LS and the range of different posters that creates these dynamics than the fact that women on LS are somehow different than women IRL or men on LS are somehow different than men IRL. Anyway, the guy in the OP understands that what he did lacked social graces (in sending the Excel sheet) and seemed to take it in stride. I'm sure he'll be fine. Whatevs. I still think the title V gave us on, "This is not suggested" probably fits. I think even the guy who did it would tell you that and do some things differently!
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