chelle21689 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Okay, so it's been over a year since my last relationship. I'm over him, I moved on, he's moved on, he's engaged, etc. etc. We remained friendly after the break up until he got a gf and he had to cut off complete contact with me. It's been a long time, and I don't think of it every day. Sometimes he'll just pop up in my head when I hear a song that relates to us. I don't know why, but it just does. THe song "Somebody that I used to know" describes it. It hurts that I can never talk to him again. I don't want him back really, I just really miss our friendship and our talks. We use to be good friends before dating. It's just a shame... I wouldn't leave my bf for my ex. I am just stating that it's been a long time and I still care for my ex. I guess I always will ya know?
Radu Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Okay, so it's been over a year since my last relationship. I'm over him, I moved on, he's moved on, he's engaged, etc. etc. We remained friendly after the break up until he got a gf and he had to cut off complete contact with me. It's been a long time, and I don't think of it every day. Sometimes he'll just pop up in my head when I hear a song that relates to us. I don't know why, but it just does. THe song "Somebody that I used to know" describes it. It hurts that I can never talk to him again. I don't want him back really, I just really miss our friendship and our talks. We use to be good friends before dating. It's just a shame... I wouldn't leave my bf for my ex. I am just stating that it's been a long time and I still care for my ex. I guess I always will ya know? You are not yet over him. ex's are x's for a reason and they need to stay that way, far far away ... out of respect for your current partner. Sounds like his fiance forced his hand, and she did good with this. Put yourself in her situation with her information, how would you feel ?
FitChick Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Thoughts are one thing; acting on those thoughts is quite another.
RiverRunning Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 It's one thing to occasionally wonder what your ex is up to or where they are in life - not because you're concerned about it per se, but idle curiosity. It's another to 'miss' the ex, 'miss' the friendship that you used to have, etc. His fiance was totally right to get him to cut you out of his life. Although I didn't know about my ex's contact with HIS ex until much later in our relationship, I was very happy to tell him that that crap stopped or I was gone. The crap stopped. Life is too short to play second fiddle to an ex-girlfriend or to wonder and worry if he's still got a thing for her, etc. You may be over him in that you're not actively pursuing him - but you are not over him emotionally yet.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You've got to reach that place inside of yourself to "let go" of the past, and those emotions and realize that those things don't have a place in your future life with someone new. Just remembering those thoughts time to time is not a bad thing, I think we have to learn from our mistakes and relationships are good lessons about ourselves rather than other people. However there shouldn't be much of an emotional attachment to them, It should be "over" and over completely, not 90 percent of the way. Still having the desire to talk to him and share that friendship you used to have is still holding onto to the relationships, It's just a way of going around it mentally. The mind finds way to accept certain emotions that it doesn't want to let go of, then you manipulate yourself into feeling that It's ok. I'm not here to tell you that you're wrong for thinking of your ex, but really that If you intend on moving on with someone on the future you have to put those thoughts, emotions and memories behind you because the person you have in your life now and that you may have in the future should be most important...It's hard not to live in the past, but It's the only way to move forward.
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