Editbee Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Right now I'm in total shock and disgust upon reading this: Mister Poll That to me sounds like straight forward child abuse. It's one thing to discipline (in whatever method you please) but to go to that extreme as mentioned in the link? Wow Poor victims. I would have been not only scarred for life but hated my parents if they had done that to me. In fact my cousin's parents were like that too and now she doesn't want to ever see them again. Edited April 17, 2012 by Editbee
ThaWholigan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I had a few ass-whoopings in my time. Amongst Caribbean parents it was common to beat their children on occasion, depending on the level of disobedience. Those children usually turned out to be the nicest and most respectful people. I didn't get beaten a lot, perhaps once every year I got the odd slap and rarely got a few lashed of the belt. It's not something I would do to my children (never), but I don't exactly resent my punishments. My mum would tell me stories of some horrible beatings some of her peers in her age group took. One of my uncles would have to kneel on a cheese grater as a punishment she once told me. Pretty grim stuff I thought. I counted my blessings I only got the occasional beating. I was a pretty tough child so I could take it, even though I would cry a lot . I'd say that a lot of the time, excessive abusive beating of the child can certainly backfire, as beating excessively goes beyond discipline IMO. My cousin is an example. He has ADHD and was always doing bad stuff, and he got beatings ALL THE TIME!! Basically, after a while it didn't matter, he would always do bad stuff. Now he sells drugs and does all manner of things now, he don't care. Which reminds me, I must go see him as he was stabbed recently, ain't seen him since.
Author Editbee Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Sorry to hear that. I don't think I can ever beat a child like that. My heart would completely break out seeing him/her crying in extreme pain as well as the marks I caused. However, I don't see nothing wrong with a couple of swaps esp. if you have tried other methods prior to that or a once time slap in the face by mother.
KathyM Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Being violent with a child is never the right thing to do. Never a good form of discipline. What the people in the link were doing is clearly child abuse. I think, as child abuse laws have been enacted, people are now more aware of what is acceptable and what is not, and I think today's parents are more into redirecting a misbehaving child, or using punishments that don't involve violence.
ThaWholigan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Sorry to hear that. I don't think I can ever beat a child like that. My heart would completely break out seeing him/her crying in extreme pain as well as the marks I caused. However, I don't see nothing wrong with a couple of swaps esp. if you have tried other methods prior to that or a once time slap in the face by mother. Same, I couldn't beat my child either. My father never ever hit me in all the years I've known him, he generally just shouts . I think I take after him in that respect. Being violent with a child is never the right thing to do. Never a good form of discipline. What the people in the link were doing is clearly child abuse. I think, as child abuse laws have been enacted, people are now more aware of what is acceptable and what is not, and I think today's parents are more into redirecting a misbehaving child, or using punishments that don't involve violence. Yeah, in England we have the smacking laws so you're not even really allowed to slap your child now, you can't touch them. I don't think they are correlated but generally children nowadays are pretty ill-disciplined whereas when we were getting our asses whooped every now and then we were a lot nicer. Probably a coincidence though . I just think that people believe smacking to be disciplining your children and now that you're not allowed to do it, there is no discipline. It's silly, there are ways to discipline children without hitting them IMO.
Author Editbee Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Yeah, in England we have the smacking laws so you're not even really allowed to slap your child now, you can't touch them. I don't think they are correlated but generally children nowadays are pretty ill-disciplined whereas when we were getting our asses whooped every now and then we were a lot nicer. Probably a coincidence though . I just think that people believe smacking to be disciplining your children and now that you're not allowed to do it, there is no discipline. It's silly, there are ways to discipline children without hitting them IMO.Not sure. There used to be a very sweet, shy girl in my school and she never got spanked. Then again, my parents were psychologists. Her only problem was not making too many friends (as she would be sitting alone during lunch break) so my friend Shanna and I decided to talk to her. Then yeah I know people who got spanked and are good as well as bad. So I don't know. I think it also depends on the individual and how consistent was the discipline whether it was spanking, time-out, shouting, etc.
KathyM Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Same, I couldn't beat my child either. My father never ever hit me in all the years I've known him, he generally just shouts . I think I take after him in that respect. Yeah, in England we have the smacking laws so you're not even really allowed to slap your child now, you can't touch them. I don't think they are correlated but generally children nowadays are pretty ill-disciplined whereas when we were getting our asses whooped every now and then we were a lot nicer. Probably a coincidence though . I just think that people believe smacking to be disciplining your children and now that you're not allowed to do it, there is no discipline. It's silly, there are ways to discipline children without hitting them IMO. In the U.S., if people use any form of corporal punishment on a child, except for spanking on the behind with an open hand and with the child dressed, where it doesn't leave marks, anything else is considered child abuse and is reportable to child protection. The reason why children are more inclined to act out nowdays is, IMO, because of the culture they live in, where children are taught to be more outspoken, allowed more freedom, and are given the impression that they are equals to their parents, rather than under parental authority. I also think a lot of people nowdays don't have the stamina and guts to follow through with disciplining their children, or they don't know how to discipline effectively.
ThaWholigan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Not sure. There used to be a very sweet, shy girl in my school and she never got spanked. Then again, my parents were psychologists. Her only problem was not making too many friends (as she would be sitting alone during lunch break) so my friend Shanna and I decided to talk to her. Then yeah I know people who got spanked and are good as well as bad. So I don't know. I think it also depends on the individual and how consistent was the discipline whether it was spanking, time-out, shouting, etc. I think it is also the individual too, and cultural differences. My mother in general was strict but she was never mean. If anything, it wasn't the beatings, it was just that she was very over-protective of me given that I had learning difficulties that really used to annoy me, even now she's like that. Me and my little brother were always very well-behaved a lot of the time, although my little brother is an intense personality and does clash with my mother often. My brothers on my father's side are also pretty well behaved most of the time too. It comes with actually interacting with your children and explaining values to them. I was always very receptive to what my mother and my father told me, and they have even helped me come to my own conclusions about my own value system. Smacking was old school and in some cases may work, but only for very few, and I wouldn't do the same to my kids.
ThaWholigan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 In the U.S., if people use any form of corporal punishment on a child, except for spanking on the behind with an open hand and with the child dressed, where it doesn't leave marks, anything else is considered child abuse and is reportable to child protection. The reason why children are more inclined to act out nowdays is, IMO, because of the culture they live in, where children are taught to be more outspoken, allowed more freedom, and are given the impression that they are equals to their parents, rather than under parental authority. I also think a lot of people nowdays don't have the stamina and guts to follow through with disciplining their children, or they don't know how to discipline effectively. I agree, parents aren't effective at disciplining their children these days. Children are often told they have more freedom too, but as far as I am concerned, discipline, development, education and morality starts at the home.
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