Ex boyfriend has dumped me and moved on

[jelly baby]

Hello everyone, I am new to this so please be patient!

 

Basically, my story is that I had a boyfriend of two and a half years and like all relationships we had our ups and downs but we were both so madly in love we stuck it through the hard times. Yet, a month ago my boyfriend dumped me for good and told me straight that "we will never be together again, 100%" and so for the past month I have been healing, moving on, spending time with friends and family and I have been doing really well for myself.

 

However, today I received a text from my ex boyfriend (we have been exchanging texts every so often just to say hi etc) saying that he has found a new love and he is in a relationship with this said girl. (we have had fights over this girl previously because I did not like the fact they were flirt texting with each other) It has been a month, I'm feeling hurt, betrayed, jealous. My mind is racing imagining them holding hands with each other, going for meals, going to the cinema together while most of this month I have been sat at home revising for my exams and avoiding the opposite sex completely.

I do not want my ex back, but I have lost a best friend. A best friend I shared my most intimate moments with and I feel he has dropped me for this new girl.

I feel I am right back to square one, and this time it hurts even more. I have spent the entire day crying and going through all the questions I'll never have. I feel as though he had feelings for this girl whilst we were together, dumped me for her then thought that a month is a good amount of time to then tell me before my friends saw it on facebook.

 

I'm absolutely devastated I was so madly in love with someone and he has done this to me. I feel as though most of our relationship has been a lie and he has had feelings for this girl whilst he carried on playing happy couple with me.

How can I get over these feelings of betrayl and hurt? I thought he was different to so many other boys, I was wrong and now I'm hurt. How can I learn to trust again? How can I move on knowing he never really loved me?

Also, I go to the same university campus as them both, how should I react when I inevitably see them hanging around together?

[lovemovesme]

first off, if you see them on campus walk the opposite direction. You can avoid a lot of pain by just walking away. If he sees you and says "hi," keep it short tell him you're busy and have to go.

 

i sincerely doubt that he didn't love you at all. he just sounds really selfish but if you guys were together for that long then he had to have feelings for you. Don"t beat yourself up about it.

 

Time will heal all wounds.

 

Keep your head up and go no contact for a while. don"t text/call him. if he text/calls you, don't answer or keep it very short. You want to make it seem like you're not interested in him. He made it easy for you in the we're definitely not going to get back together department. trust me it's easier that way.

 

there's plenty of fish in the sea, you'll find one.

[Meg717]

I can relate to your story. My ex broke up with me in the beginning of February and we ended up living together until he moved out March 1st. He didn't break up saying that we'd never get back together, he would say things along the lines of "we don't know where time is going to take us." Fast forward to 2 weeks ago. We spoke and I eventually got out of him that he is "seeing" his coworker, also a girl he flirted with a lot - at work and via text. He also told me their first kiss was Valentines Day (yes, while we lived together) but he made sure nothing sexual happened until he moved out.

 

I was so upset when I found all this out. I felt how you felt. How could he act so casual about our 5yr relationship ending? How come in January we were discussing going to get a marriage license and making plans to "solidify" our relationship and then February he doesn't love me and NOW he is telling me he's not sure he loves his co-worker?

 

I still think those things about the situation but there is nothing I can do about it. If he actually loves this girl than I guess I can be happy that he found someone, if she's a rebound and his feelings for her are blinded by the excitement of something new, than I hope he realizes it sooner then later.

 

In regards to how to make the situation feel better for you. I'm not sure what to say. I don't know how I was able to work through the break down I had right after we got off the phone, but I did. I just keep telling myself that what I am going through is for the best. It sucks most of the time, dating is HORRIBLE, but in the end I will be a better person and you need to remember that too. It is very cliche but it really is true "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger." You may not see it soon or agree, but you will eventually.

 

I won't have to worry about seeing my ex and this new lady together since we live in different areas but I'll try to give my best advice I can for when you see him on campus (with her). It will hurt the first few times, but just keep your head up and be the bigger and stronger person. If you feel you need to cry, go into a private room (like a bathroom) and let it out, splash your face with water then leave with a smile on your face and continue with your day. The stronger you are or appear you are, will benefit you in so many ways in the end!

 

Oh and I agree with Lovemovesme... he probably did love you, who knows why he left but I'm sure the entire relationship wasn't a lie. I know my ex loved me, I could feel it. It will only be their loss when we've moved on.

Edited April 17, 2012 by Meg717

[mridul_chajilee]

This JEALOUS is the main problem i think.If you can make him JEALOUS for u then i think you will get peace of mind.Give a smile to him when both are together,dont be angry and don't change ur way when both of u coming in same road,just smile at him,and show him as if u are very happy now a days and very busy in ur work and also change ur contact number.If u are feeling anxity and depression then go for a medicine specialist and take some anxiolytic medicine and do the above freely.