tornangel Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 So I wrote this right here lil note tonight after 3 months of splitting from my ex:::: The way u touched me when we met... It seemed so real to me. I longed for it. U were so strong , I craved to feel ur strong arms around me . Holding me, keeping me safe. I craved to feel u inside me. All of that is gone , lost forever. Now is just echoes of yesterday to be forgotten. Because I am not supposed to love u anymore. i am suppossed to be strong. When my heart is bleeding all over the floor , invisible . Only seen to the naked eye. To the wounded who realize this pain. A pain so deep as it stabs quietly inside some place empty, so cold and empty. This life seems to stand still, hollowed by the prescence deeply craved by his strong hands. So eager I awaited his body to devour me. To take me as part of him forever, to be as one. Never seperated, only thru death. Have I ever loved like this he asks me, "No never, I reply." I feel his heart took me whole that day. Although I am alone, I still feel his body next to me when I close my eyes. He is the only one I can see. Does he feel me? Does he know how I ache for him, for his smell, his touch. My heart is crying out in dead silence so loud. Can he hear me? My pride I can not swallow. I cant go back to where he took this love and aching for him and twisted it with the blade. Lost so much of who I knew of myself. He will be the death of me, even as I vow to an existence of solitude. There was none before him, and will never be another to follow him. He was my beginning and my ending. My soulmate. My Only one.... He will maybe find another to lay with , to love , to cherish and possibly even to destroy. But there is no other than him for me. He will always be my only. I lived the moment he touched me, I died the day he went away. UGGHHHHHHHHHHH------------------------------------------------------------- I havent been able to date. Not interested a little even. Am I ever gonna get over my ex. Uggghhh. He treated me horrible and was soooo mean/ abusive. What is freaking wrong with me.?
theother Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You are what they call, 'lovesick' and you have it bad. The problem you face is that you have made a commitment to a man for life but he hasn't even come close to reciprocating your affections. It's natural to make a one time lifelong commitment to another person that you feel an affinity for since we have been created with that as the blueprint of our emotional being. As far as you were concerned he was the one for you and you loved him wholly and completely and you decided that you had found your final one and only true love. The fact that you write he treated you really nasty at times says one very telling thing about his character; he didn't love you the way you did. He was even aware of how deeply you loved him which is why he knew he could get away with treating you with disrespect. This shows how insensitive he was toward you. We all would like to find someone to love and we all would like that person to love us back with the same or an even greater affection than we give them. That is the nature of true love. You give and they give back more, so you give back more and then it just goes on and on like that, ever increasing. Sadly, this type of romantic love is incredibly rare and if and when it exists it usually gets messed up by something outside our control or by our own immaturity in being able to recognize it as it for what it is. Have you ever noticed how all of the famous great love stories are utter and complete tragedies? That's because truly romantic love is the enemy of all who see it and even those who are involved in it because it requires a level of commitment that we, as intrinsically greedy and self centered people, have a lot of trouble 'handling' emotionally and psychologically, so we stuff it up because the pressure of maintaining it for the rest of our lives is rather too intense an option. It's human nature to make things break. (That's obvious!) There's nothing wrong with the fact that you were prepared to be loyal to this man no matter how many mistakes he seemed to make in the relationship. But, it will become emotionally unhealthy for you to continue to dwell in a state of abject misery for the fact that a relationship with another human being didn't work out no matter how much you emotionally invested in it. There's nothing pathetic and weak about the fact that you are prepared to love someone to the extent that you have written in this letter. In fact, it's a great credit to you that you believe in love so much that you are prepared to love someone in that way. Just realize that this man wasn't the right one. It certainly is possible to love too much. You need to take a step back and see that having someone love you and being able to love them back is not the be all and end all of our existence on this planet and then maybe you can get some relief. There are many ways to show affection to other human beings that don't have to involve romantic attachment. This man didn't deserve you. Don't let the pain thrive and grow so that you have something of the relationship to keep alive. That's totally destructive. Your pain will become less over time.
TaraMaiden Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Please for the luvofgod, please - tell me you didn't actually send it..... 2
HollyBolly Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Please for the luvofgod, please - tell me you didn't actually send it..... I'm guessing she did. Hence the anger.
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