nyc12 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) i was in a 6 year relationship. we're both in our mid 20's. It ended because I didn't have the balls to get married. I wasn't ready for it. now im back on the dating scene and everything is a mess. everyone has baggage. no one is trustworthy. i feel like i'll never have what I had with my ex-gf (eachothers first loves). sad face. Edited April 17, 2012 by nyc12
silvermane187 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I think you're looking at it the wrong way. It ended because I didn't have the balls to get married. I wasn't ready for it. If you're not 100% sure you want to get married to someone then it is the right move 100% of the time to not get married. Hell, even people that were positive they wanted to get married and spend the rest of their life with someone end up getting divorced. Yea, the dating scene mostly sucks, because people mostly suck. It's hard as hell to find someone who is a match to your personality/desires/lifestyle/etc. Just keep an open mind. Your ex wasn't the perfect match for you. Nobody is perfect for anyone else. If the girls you're dating right now aren't working out just take a break from dating. Sometimes you find what you're looking for when you stop looking for it so hard. You're never going to have another love like your first love. The love you have for the next person will be more mature, with more realistic expectations, more experienced, etc. It will be better in some ways and worse in some ways. There's nothing you can do but keep moving forward. 2
Author nyc12 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 that makes perfect sense. its weird, i thought i was over it. i was having fun dating and meeting new people. feeling independent after 6 years. but the newness of it all is fading and ive met a lot of girls, im realizing that my ex gf was really perfect for me in a lot of ways - especially sexually. i contacted her and met her for lunch. shes not romantically interested in me anymore. which is weird for me to think about because i used to be her whole world and she had anxiety about losing me. i let her go and now shes gone. oh well
Author nyc12 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 and now i wish i proposed to her. but at the same time, without these 8 months of independence maybe i still wouldnt have been ready to propose.
Author nyc12 Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 im going through so much regret now... i wish things turned out differently
Fitz Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Hindsight is 20/20. If you had married her when you had a chance, you would have still had your wanderlust. Which would have kindled resentment and frustration in you for your relationship. Which would have poisoned your relationship. Ironically, the only reason you are now able to understand the value of your old relationship is because you willingly threw it away. But now you know what you want/expect in a partner. And next time you won't let her slip through your fingers. So have some fun for the meanwhile. And when the next awesome girl walks by -you'll be ready. Lesson learned. 1
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