trueluV Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Background: We dated briefly back in october & november, had a "break", but he came back to me early this year. Though it was a few months break (that time i thought he was playing with me and told him not to contact me anymore), my feelings for him was still very strong and when he 'begged' to meet me again, i couldn't resist. And that day we met, we felt comfortable as if we kept seeing each other. and he asked me to be in an exclusive/ committed relationship with him. so we've been in a "relationship" for about 2 months. but due to his hectic work schedule, we meet about once a week, and when we meet, we usually meet outside, and therefore sex hasn't happened yet. we only kissed once, the day he asked me to be his girlfriend. since then, we are like platonic lovers. i know you guys would say "you should try to initiate it", but he is not a shy guy at all, and if we kissed once, what is he holding back for? it's not that i want to sleep with him, but my question is that guys usually want to be physical with the girl they like (or not!), but my guy looks like he is taking it very slow...or what is he thinking? is this normal? can i know what he is thinking or doing from a guys perspective? thanks!
NateC Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 He could be taking it slow because he's unsure if you want to be more physical with him. Kissing and sex are two very different things in perspective.
Author trueluV Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 He could be taking it slow because he's unsure if you want to be more physical with him. Kissing and sex are two very different things in perspective. he hasn't tried to kiss me since the first time we got back together this year. let alone sex. (btw, we are both asians -sorry, not to stereotype asians but can't help when it comes to dating- so no PDA) we seem like platonic lovers. we enjoy our time, but there is nothing physical now. is it possible he is taking it 'very' slow? or lack of attraction??
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Was he more expressive with physical touch etc the first time around? Why does everything have to be in public? Even if its after work, can't you go to his place or him to yours? Have you tried suggesting this? Gosh I wouldn't last 2 months with this, esp if you are supposed to be official. Why don't you ask him "why don't you ever kiss me?" I don't get the stereotype...Asian = no pda? Not even a peck?
Author trueluV Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Was he more expressive with physical touch etc the first time around? Why does everything have to be in public? Even if its after work, can't you go to his place or him to yours? Have you tried suggesting this? Gosh I wouldn't last 2 months with this, esp if you are supposed to be official. Why don't you ask him "why don't you ever kiss me?" I don't get the stereotype...Asian = no pda? Not even a peck? ok, to elaborate: he has relatives staying with him till the end of this month, and though i've been to his place a few times while they were there, it was somehow uncomfortable for me to just be in his room with doors closed, or stay over. and as for me, i have a roommate so that's not easy either. the kiss happened when i was over at his place while his relatives were out. another time, i went over, he actually wanted to have sex, but i refused because i was nervous the relatives would be back any minute. (gosh! the relatives!) so i guess this explains somehow... and that's why we've been just meeting outside for now. but now, he doesn't show any kind of neediness of physical contact...is this something to worry about??
NateC Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I don't think there's anything to worry about. Relationships can grow without a lot of physical contact. It's obvious that he likes you because he 1) came back, and 2) is continuing to be with you even without the physical element. Just because it doesn't exist now doesn't mean it won't in the future!
TripLine Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 New guys who don't jump for sex = keepers? Maybe he is traditional or want to take it slow. Sounds like the latter. You should see how long he can last. Anything over 3 months will be abnormal and anything over 6 months is gay.
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 ok, to elaborate: he has relatives staying with him till the end of this month, and though i've been to his place a few times while they were there, it was somehow uncomfortable for me to just be in his room with doors closed, or stay over. and as for me, i have a roommate so that's not easy either. the kiss happened when i was over at his place while his relatives were out. another time, i went over, he actually wanted to have sex, but i refused because i was nervous the relatives would be back any minute. (gosh! the relatives!) so i guess this explains somehow... and that's why we've been just meeting outside for now. but now, he doesn't show any kind of neediness of physical contact...is this something to worry about?? Thanks for clarifying, that info seems pertinent I def understand the relative thing--I had my aunt stay with me for 6 wks and I didn't have my BF sleep over for that entire time, though I did go to his place. You could wait til the end of the month (just another couple weeks right?) and see what happens, or you could ask him now. How come you don't ask him? Is he legit opposed to a peck in public, or in your car or whatever? Is he affectionate in other ways--hand holding, arm around you? Or is it like going out with a girl friend?
Author trueluV Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 I don't think there's anything to worry about. Relationships can grow without a lot of physical contact. It's obvious that he likes you because he 1) came back, and 2) is continuing to be with you even without the physical element. Just because it doesn't exist now doesn't mean it won't in the future! Thanks for your feedback, guys. I feel much better to hear it's not something to worry about. (at this point) Relationships can grow without a lot of physical contact. : is this true? read somewhere guys need physical contact to feel that they are loved, so i was worrying if he doesn't feel loved in "that" way. also for guys, love grows through physical contact. is this right? what can i do to make up that "physical" part, so he feels loved? Guys, what touches you?
Recommended Posts