My BF loves our dog more than me!!! seriously

[lexnmike4enomore]

i have been w/ my BF for 2 years. We have a house, white picket fence all that bull. About 2 months ago we got a dog. 2 weeks after that my BF got hurt @ work and now hes on comp. Now my Bf has been wit ht the dog all day while I'm at work. Now i think that he loves the dog more than me. Like when I'm playing with the dog and he gets to rough and bites me and draws blood, he will say that he was just playin and that hes still a puppy and thats what puppies do (he's 1 1/2 yrs old) So the other day i had my head on my BF's lap and the dog jumped on me. My BF continued to play with him while he was on my head. I got pissed and went to sit on the other couch. Then the dog lays down and my BF didn't even care that i was pissed and got up . Like he wanted the dog to jump on my so that i would get up and the dog lay on him. My BF spoils the s*** out of him. Cooks and extra steak for him. Its ridiculous. ITS A FRIGGIN DOG!!! I'm wondering if its a guy thing were they have to love them more than their GF. I keep mentioning this ti him but he just keeps saying I'm jealous of a dog. and i am but he doesn't sit w/ me anymore, he rather cuddle with he dog. We have grown apart. When the dog bit me one (playing) he drew blood and i said that i wanted him gone i didn't want him, what if it was my eye. So my BF got really defensive and started fighting with me and i left. the next day i said either me or the dog and he changed the argument to something else. HE CANT EVEN CHOSES BETWEEN ME AND THE DOG!!!! What do i do???? Open the door and let him run out in the street? oops, accidents happen.

[CurlyIam]

Gosh, that's nasty!

 

I can understand that the dog feels jealous, it is somewhat natural. HE's got a play mate, a master, extra food and attention! He's in "dog's heaven"!

 

The dog is not the issue, you do realise this. He has something with you. It is not his love for the dog. Can it be that he resents you for a certain reason? Like you having a job, you being paid better, anything?

 

He might be doing it to punish you for something. I refuse to believa that a man in his right mind would do anything like this. In the end, it isn't even about you, it is about educating the dog. What if one day he'll have guests and the dog will have to bear having less of attention? Will it bite everyone? IT doesn't make sense.

 

 

Maybe it will pass and he'll get over this "puppy love" phase. But it is mean, very mean to you. Prefering a dog's feelings over your's! This all his fault. Next time he does it, tell him to screw his dog, 'cause you're out of there! Don't ever take his putting your dog first. Ever! IT isn't not even about respect, it is about courtesy, common sense!

 

 

Don't try to get revenge on the dog. They are the exact result of their master's education. Yes, some are more possesive than others, some are more violent than other, but these traits can be corrected through proper training! If not, it will end up making his life a living hell and it'll be all his fault!

[Leikela]

I am sorry but I cannot see your side of things at all. A dog is not just "a dog", it's a very important part of MANY people's lives. Dogs or any other pets people may have become one of the family and they are loved that way. I think you're being a tad bit ridiculous by accusing your bf of loving the dog more. That couldn't be more absurd.

 

Also it would be terribly selfish of you to let the dog into the street and kill it "by accident". Do you care more about yourself or about your boyfriend? He obviously loves and cherishes that dog and you would take that away from him and break his heart like that?

 

I think you need to be more accepting of your new K-9 friend. My boyfriend and I got two new kittens 6 weeks ago and we spend tons of time cuddling with them and paying them attention. We don't complain that we don't cuddle as much as a result. We especially don't get jealous of the cats either because they draw a lot of attention. You need to look into yourself and find out why you feel threatened and insecure by a dog. If you don't change your attitude, you will destroy your relationship with your boyfriend.

[lexnmike4enomore]

Originally posted by Leikela

My boyfriend and I got two new kittens 6 weeks ago and we spend tons of time cuddling with them and paying them attention. We don't complain that we don't cuddle as much as a result.

 

I would love to have a cat rather than a dog. Your supposed to cuddle with kittens. But it wouldnt bother you that you BF would rather cuddle with the dog than you. This dog is diminishing our relationship b/c of this dog. The second my BF walk in the door he runs to the dog like im not even there. He doesnt kiss me hello or good by anymore but he says goodbye to the dog. And it is just a dog. JUST A DOG.

[CurlyIam]

He doesnt kiss me hello or good by anymore but he says goodbye to the dog. And it is just a dog. JUST A DOG.

 

This is NOT about the dog! It is about your relationship! It is not normal, not even if had just got the dog to ignore you. To the dog, to anyone! Face it!

[lexnmike4enomore]

You don't think this has anything to do with the dog? Are you friggin kidding me?

You cant see that he has a new love in his life THE DOG. you cant see that he rather say hello to the dog than me. You cant see that he rather sleep with the dog than me. HE LOVES THE DOG MORE THAN ME.

[Leikela]

Originally posted by lexnmike4e

I would love to have a cat rather than a dog. Your supposed to cuddle with kittens. But it wouldnt bother you that you BF would rather cuddle with the dog than you. This dog is diminishing our relationship b/c of this dog. The second my BF walk in the door he runs to the dog like im not even there. He doesnt kiss me hello or good by anymore but he says goodbye to the dog. And it is just a dog. JUST A DOG.

 

Ok, I can see your point of view where the ignoring is concerned. I always make it a point to smile and say hello to my boyfriend first before making a fuss over the kittens. I agree with Curly. It's not about the dog, it's why he feels the need to shower the dog with so much attention rather then you. It has something to do with your relationship. I would talk to him about it openly and see what he says.

 

If you want a cat, then why don't you get one? He has his dog and you should have your cat. Dogs and cats can live together. I've seen it before.

[HokeyReligions]

I'm with Leikela on this one.

 

Whatever your problems are with your bf, it's not the dog's fault. Its not "just a dog" dogs have feelings and emotions too.

 

Why not learn to love the dog and spend time with him too? If you don't, the dog will never warm up to you. Dogs have a LOT of love to give -- why not share it with your boyfriend instead of being so competitive. It IS silly on your part--sorry to sound harsh, but the dog is not competing with you, YOU are competing with the dog!

 

I understand that some people will never feel about animals the way that I do, but your comment about letting the dog out the door is cruel and it's people like you I work to educate and/or to make responsible for their insensitive and selfish ways by pressing animal cruelty or neglect charges against.

 

Why not stop by your nearest SPCA and get some materials on responsible pet parenting or dog ownership and learn about dogs so that you can bring the dog in as part of your family and love him too. It will bring you closer to your bf to do that.

 

I've always had a "love me, love my dog" attitude and my husband knew it when we got together. I've certainly played with dogs who have drawn blood when playing too rough. They have to learn what is too rough. Perhaps you can approach your bf and tell him that you want to love the dog and share their joy, but you need his cooperation to make sure the dog is trained properly and is not too rough for you. Again, this is where some info from the SPCA will come in helpful. It will support your need for training and also show your bf that you are listening to him and wanting his happiness too.

[Fayebelle]

My grandmother always said you could tell a good man by how he treats animals, children, the elderly and disabled. So far I have found this to be a great rule of thumb. Imagine if you came home every day and your BF gave you all the love in the world while kicking the dog across the room. Would that make him a better man in your eyes? You are not in competition w/your pet. You just want more affection. That's not a bad thing and you should discuss it with him but don't keep a scorecard of you vs the dog.

[CurlyIam]

Hokey:

 

I have a dog home too. He chose me as a master. HE was freaking jealous of all people around me. IT was unbelievable, it would try to bite my mom if she touched me while he was on my lap! Then I knew it was my fault and I have changed my attitude towards him! And it was my mom, who happened to be feeding him, washing him. Imagine his reaction when he sow my bf.

 

How can you love a dog who considers you competition for his master? It must come from te master. He is to teach the dog it is ok for other people to love, touch and cuddle him. Dogs can be exclusive! Yes, she can learn to love the dog, but she is jealous too! They both are jealous on each other!

 

lexnmike4e

 

You scare me! Your bf is nuts, out of there, into his own world! I remember loving my dog to death, but I never ever put it before any member of my family.

 

My bf loves bikes. He would go 60 km each Saturday, would reather spend Sunday home resting and o biking some more than going out with his friends. For a while there I hated his bike too .

 

If you are right, that your bf is a big baby! No maturity, no consideration and definetely a screwed up system of values!

 

 

Ok, this is how I would react to this situation and this is what I would do:

 

A. First of all, I am very jealous. I understand friends, space, going out, separate stuff, but when it comes to feelings and attention, I am a true pest! Should this be happening to me, I would be very hurt, but also hold a big grunge against him, act totally resentfull. It is not planned, but I know myself!

 

B. I would try to live with the situation untill one day! One day I am sure to loose it! This is why I try not to let things grow, because also I am nice and well behaved, after a certain point is reached, I explode. That's bad!

 

Solution

 

Tonight, when you come home, start your fight. Be sure to be angry! Say exactly what you feel, neglect, unappreciated, unloved, second after the dog! Let it all out. Be sure he understands exactly how important this issue is to you. It will arrive to shouting, crying, all the arsenal! Be prepared and go all the way! Do not give in!!!

 

Make him understand that you want him to change. I am sure he knows he's hurting you, but he cares too much about the his feelings for the dog to be considering yours. He is plain selfish, 'cause he's got you and the dog!

 

The purpose of this fight (by the way, try not to break all the dishes) is to make him realize the two of you have one big problem. Which is NOT the dog! It is how he treats it! Then see where the two of you can go. MAke no mistake, there are only two possible outcomes: 1. break up; 2. the dog comes second after you.

 

 

 

Do not wait, if you do, you will get so caught up in your jealousy that you stand the dog or him.

[mintjulep]

This is NOT about the dog! It is about your relationship! It is not normal, not even if had just got the dog to ignore you. To the dog, to anyone! Face it!

Agreed. Look past the dog issue. If a dog is tearing your relationship apart, you most likely had problems that coincided with the introduction of your new "Canine friend" (hahahahahahaha - sorry, I love dogs, but some people really love dogs, and I like to mock those people. I had an aunt that loved her dog so much that even after 12 stitches on my face she took the dog's side. Until he bit a chunk of her leg off. Then the dog was put to sleep. Ever since then, I thought it was really funny when people got really emotional about dogs. Sorry, I got off topic).

 

You're right, he shouldn't be choosing a dog over you, but you're probably having trouble looking past the dog issue because the other problems you and he are having are being projected onto the dog (I had the same problem with my boyfriend's sister once. The problems had nothing to do with his sister, but I used her as an excuse to pick a fight sometimes). The problem might be totally with him (and the dog ), in which case you should probably leave him with his new buddy, but if it's something you can work through, you should try. Best of luck to you. It sucks to be neglected for anyone - even (and especially) a dog.