RenaW Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Not sure if that's how most relationships work out. We've been together for 2 year now but I broke up once. He would call about 10 times asking me back or showing up on my door saying how life was meaningless and to reconsider it. Fastforward: We're back together but sometimes he asks things like ''Are we gonna be together forever? I don't wanna lose you again, tell me if I'm doing something wrong'' or once tried asking if what were my future plans. He's always available and still calls almost every single hour (to the point I don't even know what else to talk about) or he can suddenly come to my house without informing me ahead of time. Is this how most relationships are? I'm not gonna leave him but wish he would chill and stop thinking about that.
Leigh 87 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Tell him to enjoy your time together, but that in life, nothing is for certain! Being super clingly, which is IS, will NOT dely the inevitible; the fact you may not work out. Tell him you hope you stay together forever, but that you never know what is around the corner in life, and that he has to learn to let go of his neediness, for things to work out, and just learn to accept there are risks in life. - he needs a serious adjustment, possible therapy, to make him understand that he can love fully, without facing the constant fear that things will nto work out. They might not, and he has to be willing to take that risk. 1
dasein Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Yes he is way too attached, and hasn't learned that a relationship is a part of life, not the sum of it. He's killing your attraction to him in the process.
Author RenaW Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Yes he is way too attached, and hasn't learned that a relationship is a part of life, not the sum of it. He's killing your attraction to him in the process.It suffocates me sometimes. There has to be a day I can be free, without him calling. I'm starting to feel terrible about the past break-up. It seems he has gotten more attach ever since. This is new to me since none of my past ex bfs were this emotional.
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 It suffocates me sometimes. There has to be a day I can be free, without him calling. I'm starting to feel terrible about the past break-up. It seems he has gotten more attach ever since. This is new to me since none of my past ex bfs were this emotional. Are you his first GF or something? How old is this guy? I can understand feeling a little insecure after breaking up and then getting back together but his behavior is ridiculous. Honestly, you need to sit him and down and tell him that by spazzing and smothering you and wondering if you will stay etc, he is just pushing you further away..... of course this will most likely lead to MORE paranoia on his side so.... maybe you should go? I don't know, that seems drastic I know, but I am feeling anxiety just reading about his obsessiveness! I would SERIOUSLY tell him that if he doesn't get a friggin grip I will walk.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Why havent you told him that you feel smothered?
Author RenaW Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Are you his first GF or something?Yes he was a late bloomer as well as one of the shyest man I've ever met. One of his cousin once told me in a jokingly manner ''Honey try not to break his heart. He's now probably gonna be stuck with that for a long time'' How old is this guy?He's 25 now.
Author RenaW Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Why havent you told him that you feel smothered?That's the reason it lead to the break up before as I've told him about this a couple of time. It seems like he doesn't get it and thinks that what he's doing is a way to show affection.
rickys Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Yes he is way too attached, and hasn't learned that a relationship is a part of life, not the sum of it. He's killing your attraction to him in the process. Yeah... I think the same.... Talk to him and make him clear that it is ok that he loves you but if he will behave like this then he will lose your attraction.
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 He has dependency and attachment issues. It might take him a while to resolve that.
wow04 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 He is insecure. You can't change that. You have to decide if you can live with it. If not then you need to move on.
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