Patrice Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I have been dating a guy for over two years on and off. He tells me that he loves me. He has a son who is about 10, he coaches little league, has a stressful job. We don't see eachother as much as I'd like, because he can't seem to let me fully into his life. He has asked me to come up, stay over but never when his son is around. My kids are grown and I'm pretty free to do what I'd like. The problem ... when his son is around, never a phone call .. just FB chat and texting. I finally told him this cyber relationship wasn't working and that it was becoming juvenile. I haven't seen the guy for a month .. with my travelling and his committment to his son. I got back from a week long trip to the West Coast on Saturday after a red-eye out .. so I was tired. Last minute he asks if I want to come up for the night, as his son would be staying over with one of his schoolmates. Felt like a total booty call to me, made me feel disrespected .. he comes he goes .. I don't see the relationship progressing. It isn't what I need for a committment to someone .. I asked about next weekend, he says he'll most likely have his son again ... so? I think it's either let me in or let me go at this point. Thoughts are appreciated.
rickys Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I don't think there are any possibilities of successful relationship. Best thing for both of you is to move away from this relationship.....
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Maybe he doesn't want his son to meet you because he doesn't want a conversation about you with his ex wife. Or maybe it really is just about the son. Either way, it appears this man just wants an easy life, does not want to deal with any kind of potential conflict that could arise if others found out about you. I'd say he isn't worth the effort. This is juvenile yes. He doesn't care that it's you who has to compromise all the time.
truth_seeker Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You said: "he comes and goes" Right there should tell you what he wants. This guy wants you there when he is in the mood. That's it. Once you get that feeling you're being disrespected, that's the sign to move on.
Author Patrice Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 I finally told him last night .. he hung up on me. Think it's the end of the line for me. I called him back and left a message ... "when you hang up on me, it's time for you to go in your direction and I'll go in mine. Not a word today, I was in tears .. he was on FB this morning and I shut it down. I don't know what his problem is .. weird. Time to move on from this one! Thanks all!
Imajerk17 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Sorry the guy acted like a *ahem* jerk. The hanging up move on his part says volumes about the guy's character. You made the right decision.
Author Patrice Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Yeah, a real jerk! See what I mean about texting there Ima?
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 The OP will go back to him. She's a woman in love.
Author Patrice Posted April 25, 2012 Author Posted April 25, 2012 No contact for over a week. He is now removed from facebook .... enough. What is with men? He is 43 years old .. time to grow up I think. I keep turning it over and over, I just don't think we wanted the same thing .. are at different stages with child rearing and I'm just not interested in sitting around every other weekend waiting. Life is too short. I'm also sensing other issues with the guy, his house is filthy, he has changed jobs 4 times in 2 years ... who knows. Still hurts.
Author Patrice Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 Update ... now he's called me and says he's in love with me deep, haven't seen the guy since late March. Wanted me to go up there tonight, and I just didn't reply. I just don't see this working, and I'm not going to get into a sexual relationship with someone who simply is not available ... 1
crazylove Posted May 28, 2012 Posted May 28, 2012 Well done you. I think you already know in your heart that it couldn't work with this guy unless there were radical changes. The fact that he's called you is probably because he's checking to see if he has you on a string. If he was that interested...surley he'd make the effort to go and see you...son or no son!!
Author Patrice Posted May 28, 2012 Author Posted May 28, 2012 I'm sure he would have come down to see me, but what happens next weekend? I made the right choice for me. 1
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