MIK1000 Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 As I've been describing in another thread. My ex who dumped me in late august with GIGS while abroad for the summer and got with another guy weeks after, has been in contact with me over the last month with a few mixed signals. First - She approaches me in club. Engages me in conversation. Apologises for what she did and says she knows it was a bad thing but how she can't change it now. 2 - 7 days later she texts me asking if we can meet up as she thinks we need to talk. She also asks for a document of hers that I might have on my computer. I wait a couple days before replying and then tell her I don't have the document and agree to the meet up. After a few texts she stops replying. 3 - Her friend approaches men in a night club and tells me how me and my ex are perfect for each other and need to give it another try, she emphasised this and repeated it several times as if she was trying to get a message across. 4 - A week later - Ex texts me again asking to check again for that document on my computer. I tell her i can't find it but will check with my brother and let her know when I find out, only an hour passes and she phones me for no reason and says she's just checking if I've spoken to my brother yet. I tell her no but will wait and find out. She keeps leaving awkward pauses before hanging up as if waiting for me to start conversation. I never end up finding the document. Assuming they carry on with the document was just a ploy to speak to me (it's government paper work she must be able to get a hold of elsewhere). I am getting the feeling that she's fishing to see if I am open to the idea of reconciliation. However all my replies act have been business like. Now it's been two weeks since I last heard from her. I am considering doing something to test the water. Maybe texting her and asking for a phone call. Then calling and putting her on the spot "I was just wondering what happened to the meeting you asked for? How come you never followed through, what were you wanting to talk about?" If I put her on the spot on the phone, I think she might struggle to lie about come up with an excuse. Good idea?
Author MIK1000 Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 Should also add that I thought that by asking her this question, it doesn't leave me open to too much rejection e.g by asking her to meet up. I'm simply asking why she asked for a meet up and never followed through, then maybe I can go on to ask her about what her friend said, depending on what she comes back with.
Nohbody Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Throw some breadcrumbs, attract some fish. Or some ducks.
Chi townD Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I agree that she was throwing breadcrumbs your way. But, you shouldn't be the one to take the bait. SHE needs to be the one stepping up to the plate. NOT YOU. I would stay NC and move on. She had her chance and decided not to take it. That's all. Nothing else has changed.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Stay quiet. If she is really testing the waters to avoid rejection, let her give you better hints to make it more obvious. DONT go looking for her. YOu want her to think that she has to give you a good reason to be in touch. Let her stew in it a lil bit. You have all the power now, if you contact her now while shes not serious enough, she might lose interest.
Author MIK1000 Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 Okay guys thanks for the replies. I'm going to leave it, the urge has passed. I agree that I should wait to see bigger hints that she wants me back. And also that if I throw away the power now she may lose interest. One thing is that in about 6 weeks we will both be going away for the summer and won't return till september. If I don't hear from her before then then I guess her sudden urge of missing me passed, or she decided to leave it until she got home. I will bump into her then, and probably bump into before we both go. Do I start being a bit friendlier and more conversational when I do meet her?
silkfox Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Personally, I don't think you have anything to lose by being friendly. It's been a while since the two of you have moved on; there's no reason why you can't at least treat her like an old friend. Just... you know. There's a fine line between "Hey! How are you, let's catch up" and "Hey! How are you, let's catch upOHGOD I MISS YOU." Obviously, avoid the latter if you can.
Author MIK1000 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Personally, I don't think you have anything to lose by being friendly. It's been a while since the two of you have moved on; there's no reason why you can't at least treat her like an old friend. Just... you know. There's a fine line between "Hey! How are you, let's catch up" and "Hey! How are you, let's catch upOHGOD I MISS YOU." Obviously, avoid the latter if you can. I think I'm just going to leave it for the time being and try and continue moving on. I don't think this is healthy for me after all this time. 6 weeks and I'll be going away travelling for 3.5 months for the first time in my life. Could be a life changing experience and when I return I could be a totally different person. I suppose there is really no point in meddling in things before then. Thanks for the input though, i agree with you somewhat.
Eddie Edirol Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Okay guys thanks for the replies. Do I start being a bit friendlier and more conversational when I do meet her? Be cordial, but not too friendly, or eager to see her. Make her think that she has to make up ALOT to you. Let her think it wont be easy. Dont update her on your information, dont tell her whats going on, its none of her business, she lost her priveledges to that information, keep your answers short. Talk about things other than yourself. You dont want her back just because you are pining for her, you want to at least act like youre not sure of her motives. Be very suspicious of her. Edited April 17, 2012 by Eddie Edirol
Author MIK1000 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Be cordial, but not too friendly, or eager to see her. Make her think that she has to make up ALOT to you. Let her think it wont be easy. Dont update her on your information, dont tell her whats going on, its none of her business, she lost her priveledges to that information, keep your answers short. Talk about things other than yourself. You dont want her back just because you are pining for her, you want to at least act like youre not sure of her motives. Be very suspicious of her. That's pretty much what I have been doing. i just wasn't sure if I was being too stand offish and as a result she was afraid to make a move. Thanks.
CaliBabe Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I'm glad that the urge has passed. Keep holding out, who knows she might be feeling anxious and might cave in first. Either way, don't read too much into the last contact as it hasn't been consistent. If it was consistant then it possibly could have meant more.
Author MIK1000 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 I'm glad that the urge has passed. Keep holding out, who knows she might be feeling anxious and might cave in first. Either way, don't read too much into the last contact as it hasn't been consistent. If it was consistant then it possibly could have meant more. Ok I can't believe what just happened. Thank god I didn't text her. She just texted me saying "Remember what day today is haha?" I had totally forgot, this would have been out two year anniversary. I've replied saying "I do now, happy would be 2 year anniversary. How's things?" She's just replied with a pretty humorous text filling me in about her day and starting more conversation about how she saw my dad act whilst still being funny. I'm guessing I should keep this rolling and just light hearted back? God I can't believe this has happened just as i was freaking out and wanting to text her.
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