gaius Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 bottom line is confidence in women is just as attractive in women as it is in men, and someone who in the first few minutes of conversation points out that they're scared to talk to the person they're already talking to just told me that they have none. I disagree that shyness/caution always translates into lack of confidence. Especially when some guy comes from out of the blue when your mind is trying to decide whether to get brand name toilet paper or the cheaper stuff. I hate healthy eating but whole foods is always loaded with gorgeous women whenever I'm there. Seems as good a place as any to pick up a date.
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 TRADER JOES for the win! Wow, I'd have never gone there if not for this goofy thread. hahahahaha! My SIT-REP: woman to man ratio: 10 to 1 females above average presentation to average: mmmmmaybe 3 to 1 lots of nicely dressed business gals carrying those smaller baskets to get fresh goods for the evening. interesting, yet healthy seeming product line, but the pricing was not over the top like I was suspecting. Many things, like milk were the same price as other places. single ones? ya know, I actually spent more time trying to find certain foods than I did finger checking. by the LOOK, I'd GUESS poorly that maybe a third might have been single. much smaller, more intimate than larger chain groc stores. Wine selection seemed pretty large, and they had a beer section but it didn't seem as large and varied as the wine section. looks like a store aimed at women to me. To contrast, I stopped by my local large chain groc store and it was definitely wider variety of peeps. probably 3 to 1 gal to guy ration, more than half the women were not so dressed up (not judging here, just observing), and didn't look at rings either. just picking up specific things Trader joe lacked. It is a little out of my way, but I like getting outside the box anyway, and will be going there more often! ... you know.. because I've altered my diet recently and want better foods to help with that. Can't wait for Whole Foods to open now. And it is closer to me. Doubt I'll ever actully "hit on" someone at a grocery store, but I'll enjoy their fresh produce and other eye candy.
Jane2011 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 lol, I wish I got hit on in grocery stores, considering it's the place I find myself most. (I'm not a once-a-week shopper; I pop in and out multiple times per week -- or even day -- to get single items I want).
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 so would this work: "Hey baby.... does THIS look ripe to you??" hahahahaha I probably couldn't hit on someone at a store, just seems so intrusive... [glacing secretly in her cart and thinking in my head...] "hmmmm she has a lot of citris fruits in there.... is that a sore on her lip? what if that ISN'T from fruit acids? whoa.... she's squeezing that bread a LOT... she must be horny..... oop! Now she's talking to that man, probably her husband, or a secret lover from her office and they meet here twice a week to fondle bread together in some twisted fetishism way... his name is "Steve"... I didn't make that up, it's on his name tag.... OH. he works here. She was just asking a question. ....probably whether or not he is into bread squeezing fetishes.... she smiled at him as he walked away... yeah... she wants him... go ahead! Yes, you go ahead and buy your little bread bag and have your little fetish parties with "STEVE"..... I DON'T CARE!! ....hey, how long have I been holding this long french bread roll?? why is the manager pointing that police man at me?? Why I am listening to this voice inside my head instead of shopping????" OH! Gotta go!
FitChick Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 TRADER JOES for the win! Wow, I'd have never gone there if not for this goofy thread. Even if you don't make a love connection, I guarantee you will get hooked on TJ's like the rest of us. When my friends moved back to England they said the only thing they missed was Trader Joe's.
carhill Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 But if I were a guy, wherever I lived, I would see it as my challenge to melt that icy exterior and get the ladies smiling, laughing, and digging me. Perhaps a younger man's game, but the sell-by date on that dynamic has exceeded my FDA guidelines. I prefer being friendly with friendly people.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Perhaps a younger man's game, but the sell-by date on that dynamic has exceeded my FDA guidelines. I prefer being friendly with friendly people. I don't care if they're 20 or 70, it makes me melt.
Radu Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Some women like to shop. They go on weekends, they go during their lunch hour. Not really looking for anything in particular, just wandering around. It's a hobby. If they spot something they like, it's down to luck. They spend many hours doing this. Shopping that way is my idea of hell. I'd rather shop online because I know what I want. It saves me time, aggravation and gas money. My dating life is the same. I know what I want and I go looking for it online. To each their own. Some ? Some ? Some ? Really ... some ?
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 LOL really? Honest to god, I don't get approached in grocery stores. I've never even SEEN anyone get approached in grocery stores. Is it really that common? 2
Emilia Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 from a man's perspective, by virtue of having face to face ability i don't need dating websites. furthermore i would think that anyone scared to give out a cell number is probably a flake, and as such just give up at that point. [....] bottom line is confidence in women is just as attractive in women as it is in men, and someone who in the first few minutes of conversation points out that they're scared to talk to the person they're already talking to just told me that they have none. Not so. It's foolish for a woman to give out her mobile number to any Tom, Dick and Harry because it's a sure way to get a stalker. Seriously. As a man you can't possibly appreciate the number of weirdos out there and while I trust my judgement usually when it comes to assessing someone's character, I would caution most women to be careful whom they give their contact details to. 1
Radu Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) It's hard to have 2 mobile phones, isn't it ? Bottom line is, if you as a woman are open to serious relationships than you might make some accomodations. YM/MSN/2nd phone nr/mail ? These are all options of contact. It's a public setting anyway and not all men are rapists/flashers/sexual predators. If however you prefer to shop for stuff and then shop for men (what online dating is), than don't complain about the latter's poor quality. Edited April 18, 2012 by Radu
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Not so. It's foolish for a woman to give out her mobile number to any Tom, Dick and Harry because it's a sure way to get a stalker. Seriously. As a man you can't possibly appreciate the number of weirdos out there and while I trust my judgement usually when it comes to assessing someone's character, I would caution most women to be careful whom they give their contact details to. Definitely, agreed. If I thought the guy 'appeared' to be unlikely to cause trouble, I would probably exchange IMs, FB or emails, since it's easier to block someone there. But I don't see myself ever offering someone a phone number 5 minutes after meeting them for the first time, unless there is good reason to do so (new workmate, etc). Really not worth the risk. If call blocking had been more convenient with my phone company (and if I didn't have to register my address with it), I might reconsider.
sweetjasmine Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 No way would I ever want to meet anybody at my local grocery store. If they didn't offer great sales I would never step foot inside the place. Oh man, same here. Most of the people who go to the two grocery stores in my neighborhood bring the entire f-ing family - spouse, mother, mother-in-law, screaming children who just want to go home or buy 10 lbs of candy - because I guess they really need 5-8 people present to let their kids push a giant cart without looking where they're going. When I'm there, I want to go in, get what I need, and leave. No prolonged chit chat with strangers for me, please. Unless I go at 10 pm, it's always crowded, and most people just want to get out and go home. I'm certain I'm an outlier, though, since I've never gone out on a date with a complete stranger or handed out my phone number/info to someone I had just met in a public place. Not my thing, and it's never been a problem.
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 LOL really? Honest to god, I don't get approached in grocery stores. I've never even SEEN anyone get approached in grocery stores. Is it really that common? Anytime I step in the local Trader Joe's, without hubby (we shop together mostly now so it hasn't happened as often lately), I get guys coming up to me. It's not always to the point where they'd appear to be flirting, but I'm cynical enough to think random male approaches might be that, and I've certainly been asked for my number many times in the store. Getting hit on in the grocery is annoying, IMO. I really, really hate it. Not enough to start being mean to everyone in the store -- I actually really like grocery shopping, particularly when I'm alone (hubby makes it a wee bit stressful but even then it's still fun), so maybe the fact that I'm having fun somehow attracts men, I don't know. But yes, it's a very common phenomenon, IMO, though it's never the kind of guy I'd actually go out with, even when I was single. Usually jock looking types or suit guys.
Els Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Is that a USA thing? I swear I get groceries a couple times each week, and I've never seen it happen, not to me or anyone else. Seems like the strangest place ever to do a pickup.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I suppose if you go about trying to approach women in grocery stores you'll eventually find women who like to be approached in grocery stores. It's taken me a while to learn this but you can't be concerned about what other people feel all the time. Yeah some women won't like being approached in a grocery store, or at the gym, or after their book club, or out volunteering, etc. But, if you never approach any woman in any of those occasions you'll never get anywhere. At some point you're going to have to step on some shoes.
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I think it is a USA Myth or "movie idea". Come to think of it, I have NEVER in my 30+ years ever seen it happen to anyone, and I have shopped since highschool graduation. Sounds like movie wisdom, you know like, it always takes 30 seconds to trace a phone call, or people leave their car keys above the sun visor, or all phone numbers start with 555. Won't keep me from going back to buy some healthier foods AND enjoying the "scenery"
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Now I HAVE noticed this.... (Oh gee! I must be a "Pick Up Artist"!) I'll be weary of "personal space" around a single female shopper... Does she get her stuff and move the next isle when I get there? No, she looked at me and now seems to be lingering a little longer but not REALLY examining products... to a guy sometimes it is easy to she when she is lingering with purpose rather than just shopping. Still, with the one gal here WISHING she'd get approached, and a few others saying they wish they WEREN'T getting approached, seems like SHOPPING wins out over MEETINGs at the grocery store. MYTH BUSTED! ... now, if there is a starbucks in the grocery store... that's different
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Is that a USA thing? I swear I get groceries a couple times each week, and I've never seen it happen, not to me or anyone else. Seems like the strangest place ever to do a pickup. Yes. It's a USA thing. It has never once happened to me outside of the United States no matter how long I lived somewhere or how often I shopped -- I shopped more often outside of the U.S. too because I didn't have a car and took several, smaller trips, and because you have to go to multiple types of shops in many places to get what you can in one big U.S. superstore type grocery market. I suppose if you go about trying to approach women in grocery stores you'll eventually find women who like to be approached in grocery stores. It's taken me a while to learn this but you can't be concerned about what other people feel all the time. Well, that's true enough. And even though I find those attempts at approaching me annoying in the grocery store, it's generally no big deal. Assuming the guy goes away quickly enough. It does really ruin my grocery shopping high though, but perhaps some women want to be approached in Trader Joes.
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 could you give specific examples of what I guy says approaching you at a GROCERY STORE? I'm genuinely curious, and apparently completely naive to it, as I just can't fathom what they would say I'm still not going to try it, but am very curious.
zengirl Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 A lot of times, it's not grocery specific. The guy just starts talking to me. Sometimes, I guess it is. I remember one guy who looked at my basket and kept trying to guess what I'd have for dinner that night. At any rate, they tend to work in the, "So are you cooking that for your boyfriend?" or whatnot type lines (if I had a BF, the answer was always, "No, he usually cooks for me," as I always dated men who cooked ) and then asking if they could call me sometime or somewhat. Honestly, it's happened A LOT of times, and the approaches themselves are not noticeably different than approaches anywhere in most cases. I think I must be approachable. People also ask me for help and directions a lot (not just men and not really in grocery stores) and I always wind up befriending new people to town, etc. I attract those looking to approach for any reason, not just romantic. But it's not like there's a special grocery store approach. Half the time, the conversation starts with, "Hello" or something accordingly vague. I'm not a rude person, so before it starts to look like flirtation, I generally don't ignore conversational attempts at all and converse accordingly unless I'm really in a rush or a bad mood.
wwwjd Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Thanks. Interesting. I still can't see it being a great idea. There's that one girl above wanted to be approached, so maybe she needs to SEEM more interested. If I got tons of eye contact and personal space invasion, I might be kicked into saying something, but seems like a non-oppertune place to me. I will continue to view it as a myth or good material for TV SitComs But interesting to know it really does happen.
Author TheSingleGuy Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 (edited) It looks like women seldom get hit on at the grocery store to the point that the guy feels enough buying signs to go for the number. One woman complained about being hit on at the grocery store too much, another said she's never had it happen. I'm a guy, and I remember seeing it happen exactly once in my lifetime, about 10 to 15 years ago. I felt bad for the guy, he bombed miserably, but even then, I don't think he felt comfortable enough to go for the number. So is that how most women dream of meeting mr right...in a bar or online? Don't women dream of bumping into mr right in normal life? All I know is, the women who go to Target get all dressed up, hair, make-up, etc. You don't see that at Wal-mart, though. The women at Target are looking hot. Married, single. It doesn't matter. Why do they do this if they don't want to be approached? Edited April 18, 2012 by TheSingleGuy
SilverBlueAndGold Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I think it is a USA Myth or "movie idea". Come to think of it, I have NEVER in my 30+ years ever seen it happen to anyone, and I have shopped since highschool graduation. Sounds like movie wisdom, you know like, it always takes 30 seconds to trace a phone call, or people leave their car keys above the sun visor, or all phone numbers start with 555. Won't keep me from going back to buy some healthier foods AND enjoying the "scenery" My recent ex had a lot of stories about this, she was approached all the time while shopping. Even while she was with me. So I have reason to believe it has happened to at least one person
RiverRunning Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 I'm in my mid-20s. I'd like to believe it's just a generational thing that explains why a man has NEVER approached me and given me his number, but sadly I know the truth. :/ If I were to be approached, it would be much nicer if the guy asked for my phone number. In a way, it shows he's more serious. But realistically, it would be awesome if we both exchanged phone numbers. I would wait for him to call first, though. I've learned from past relationships that if I had to make the first move, it's because they weren't all that interested in me. I have caught a few older men (40s, 50s, 60s+) checking me out. Le sigh. Never really see guys in my own age bracket, though.
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