fal Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 The story is very complicated, but I'll try to make it short.:: I met a girl, we started texting and I asked her out. She agreed. Then we texted for a month before meeting, because she said she was very busy. Sometimes she would say that there's something wrong with the phone and doesn't get all texts. But eventually we met, I kind of spoilt the date and was very nervous. Aftrr that she wouldn't reply for a week and I texted her few times to let her know I regret some stuff and asking if she wants to see me. Finally she texted me back just asking how I am. But whenever I asked her out again, she went silent. So we texted a couple of more friendky innocent texts and then I disappeared for a week to give her some space. After a week I wrote a very nice and funny message, in which I asked her out. She replied immediately and enthusiastically and asked what time is good for me. And just after that she disappeared for... 2 months. During these 2 months I texted a little bit, not too often, just asking if everything's fine. And after like 1 month from her last text, I let her know I'd prefer rejection to false hope and futile waiting for nothing. But she never replied and I thought it's her faulty phone. But then I tried to asked about her through her friends and work and it looked like she avoided me. But then, after I asked someone she knew, she texted me, how I am and told me that she just had her phone fixed... and disappeared again. It's a month since then, she's still silent. What is it all about? I've never been so confused before. And the problem is, I have a huge feeling towards her. What should I do?
Radu Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Faulty phone is an excuse (2months ... really). She ditched you for another at the last minute, move on. 1
firehawk_1 Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 typical. game play! ignore her and move on. not worth the time or effort!
Author fal Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 it looks like it... but why wouldn't she reply during these 2 months when i asked her to tell me the truth and swore i'll be ok with rejection? and why did she write later that her phone is ok only to disappear again?
FitChick Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 it looks like it... but why wouldn't she reply during these 2 months when i asked her to tell me the truth and swore i'll be ok with rejection? and why did she write later that her phone is ok only to disappear again? You should have totally ignored her. But some people just can't help themselves and like drama so try: "I realize you are not interested in dating me and I am not interested in being your friend. I will not contact you again and please don't contact me either." If she contacts you after that, she is an idiot. And if you respond to her, you are a bigger idiot. Good luck on your search! 2
Author fal Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 i don't like drama, i just started feeling something... and we have loads in common. apart from the fact that apparently she's playing with guys, i adore everything else about her. and who knows what would have happened, if i didn't spoil this stupid date. that's why it's hard to forget, ignore, move on and all that ****...
phineas Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 You should have totally ignored her. But some people just can't help themselves and like drama so try: "I realize you are not interested in dating me and I am not interested in being your friend. I will not contact you again and please don't contact me either." If she contacts you after that, she is an idiot. And if you respond to her, you are a bigger idiot. Good luck on your search! Had a woman I went on a few dates with disappeared for a few weeks then come back & tell me she didn't want a relationship. Really? The fact that you fell off the face of the earth for 3 weeks wasn't obvious enough to me? Then she said she wanted to hang out as just friends. I told her I wasn't interested in anything platonic but if she wanted to have some fun she could come over later. She said no I didn't respond. A whole fricken yr later she txt'd me to "hang out". I reminded her that i'm only interested in dating. She said we could. Then she flaked on me. LOL! This is the story of my life. I'm friends with a woman. They say they want to date. Then once things progress they say they just want to be friends. HUH? We were already friends. Then they won't leave me alone. It's like their hellbent on putting me in the friendzone. In that situation I have no choice but to freeze them out.
fishtaco Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Flaky women, so typical. Date a bunch of women. Multidating is great. When one flakes, you've got other ones on standby.
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 but if she ditched me for someone else at last minute, then what's the point of playing these games later?
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 The story is very complicated, but I'll try to make it short.:: I met a girl, we started texting and I asked her out. She agreed. Then we texted for a month before meeting, because she said she was very busy. Sometimes she would say that there's something wrong with the phone and doesn't get all texts. It's not complicated, you should have stopped talking to her at that point. If she was that interested, she would have called or fixed her phone (bet nothing was wrong) or would have been less busy. No-one is THAT busy. But eventually we met, I kind of spoilt the date and was very nervous. Aftrr that she wouldn't reply for a week and I texted her few times to let her know I regret some stuff and asking if she wants to see me. Finally she texted me back just asking how I am. But whenever I asked her out again, she went silent. You should have definitely stopped talking to her at this point. She was never interested that much in the first place. With experience you will learn to judge this better. You can't make people like you unfortunately. You probably 'messed up' in the first place because you could sense that she wasn't that into you. It's best not to put yourself through the experience of other people's disinterests in the future.
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 but if she ditched me for someone else at last minute, then what's the point of playing these games later? She wasn't playing games. A lot of girls are indirect and they try to let you know lack of interest by not responding much hoping that you will go away. She didn't want to upset you. 1
truth_seeker Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 She wasn't playing games. A lot of girls are indirect and they try to let you know lack of interest by not responding much hoping that you will go away. She didn't want to upset you. This happened to me. I think? This girl would give me attitude so I ignored her. Then one day she gives me these looks like she is in love. I took the bait. I wrote to her and she wrote me back. Then she disappeared. Months go by and friends tell me she's looking for me. I would write to her again. It was like cat and mouse. She would show up in places I would normally be when I wasn't there; I would write to her trying to get a hold of her. It went back and forth for a bit. I gave up. I thought maybe we were just missing each other, but then realized she was playing me for a fool. She liked the attention and liked the fact that I was focusing on her. Don't chase girls like this! They play games so you will never catch them!
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 It's not complicated, you should have stopped talking to her at that point. If she was that interested, she would have called or fixed her phone (bet nothing was wrong) or would have been less busy. No-one is THAT busy. She barely knew me. Of course she wasn't that interested. And my job was to make her interested. She's amazing and it was a challenge worth taking. You should have definitely stopped talking to her at this point. She was never interested that much in the first place. With experience you will learn to judge this better. You can't make people like you unfortunately. You probably 'messed up' in the first place because you could sense that she wasn't that into you. It's best not to put yourself through the experience of other people's disinterests in the future. I messed up on a date, when I had a chance to make her really interested. The date went horrible and it spoilt everything. And she still wanted to meet again. If I used that chance well, we would meet again and it would be different. I was totally ready the second time.
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 She wasn't playing games. A lot of girls are indirect and they try to let you know lack of interest by not responding much hoping that you will go away. She didn't want to upset you. I texted her asking for an honest answer. I wouldn't have been that upset if I got rejected early. Now I'm devastated.
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I texted her asking for an honest answer. I wouldn't have been that upset if I got rejected early. Now I'm devastated. There are a lot of people in the world that will never give you a straight answer. In fact I would put about 70-80% of the population in that bracket. 2
Emilia Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 She barely knew me. Of course she wasn't that interested. And my job was to make her interested. She's amazing and it was a challenge worth taking. No such thing. A person (woman or a man, irrelevant) will know quickly whether they want to keep up contact. There is a point where you are trying to catch someone who doesn't want to be caught. I messed up on a date, when I had a chance to make her really interested. The date went horrible and it spoilt everything. And she still wanted to meet again. If I used that chance well, we would meet again and it would be different. I was totally ready the second time. You are being too hard on yourself. Nobody should make you feel this way. She wasn't right for you.
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 If she didn't know you well enough to be interested, what makes you think you know her well enough to say she is "amazing"? Honestly, any chance there was was ruined with your texting multiple times even though she was ignoring you. I agree it sucks when guys or girls blow someone off without an explanation but unfortunately you'll have to get used to it as LOTS of people do this. Just let it be...texting someone "just tell me you are rejecting me!" and the like reeks of desperation, don't ever do that again. You'll know a girl is amazing when she reciprocates and shows equal interest. 2
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 No such thing. A person (woman or a man, irrelevant) will know quickly whether they want to keep up contact. There is a point where you are trying to catch someone who doesn't want to be caught. Apparently she wanted to get caught, cause we did meet. And she wanted (briefly, but still) to meet again. I must've spoilt the date too much and my later texts must've looked desperate.
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 If she didn't know you well enough to be interested, what makes you think you know her well enough to say she is "amazing"? Honestly, any chance there was was ruined with your texting multiple times even though she was ignoring you. I agree it sucks when guys or girls blow someone off without an explanation but unfortunately you'll have to get used to it as LOTS of people do this. Just let it be...texting someone "just tell me you are rejecting me!" and the like reeks of desperation, don't ever do that again. You'll know a girl is amazing when she reciprocates and shows equal interest. I knew a lot more about her than she did about me. I don't want to get into details, just believe me. I agree 100% with the bit about sounding desperate. I texted her a loooot after her second green light. But that's only because I thought her phone is crap and she didn't get all of them. But how not to sound desperate, when you want to explain that? Once someone thinks you're desperate, you can't defend yourself, cause then you look more desperate! Was there a way out of this circle, one that I couldn't see?
sid3 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I knew a lot more about her than she did about me. I don't want to get into details, just believe me. I agree 100% with the bit about sounding desperate. I texted her a loooot after her second green light. But that's only because I thought her phone is crap and she didn't get all of them. But how not to sound desperate, when you want to explain that? Once someone thinks you're desperate, you can't defend yourself, cause then you look more desperate! Was there a way out of this circle, one that I couldn't see? I don't get why some guys think its a good idea to text girls a lot. Or at all really. What's attractive about that. Chalk it up as a lessoned learned Fal
dasein Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Please consider removing texts entirely from you early interactions and dating. Save texting for when there is a pattern of dating already. Texts can be misinterpreted, and many don't consider them on par with a phone call. In the future call on the phone, leave a VM to call you back, but do not ask out via text or VM. After two rounds of VM not responded to, move onto other options. Doing this will keep you sane, and not subject to the kind of angst you have been feeling with this one. Quality women who are interested in dating you will make it easy for you. If they have other plans, they will suggest an option. If they don't, they just aren't interested and waste no more of your or her time. 1
Author fal Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 I wouldn't have texted much if she hadn't lie about the phone. Simple as that. Her lie pretty much destroyed the second shot.
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 If her phone magically has trouble receiving texts (convenient...), then you should have been calling her, not texting her. Hell even emailing. Convincing yourself they weren't going through was a bad idea...the fact is she could have picked up the phone as well. You messed up by relying on text messaging. 2
Recommended Posts