thezappa Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi all, Basically I have been in college with an man the past year and we have become friends who talk but not a whole lot. We have never met outside of college. I feel a serious connection with him and have since we first meet. I am shy around him but not anyone else and maybe he has taken this as a sign that I do not like him as I never act flirty with him at all. We finish the course in three weeks and I am afraid I might never see him again but I don't want this to be the case. I know he is single and he is also ten years older than me but age does not matter to me but it might to him as I am 23. Would it be a good idea to ask him out? Or should I wait for him to ask me out. Part of my thinks he must just see me as a college acquaintance because he not asked to do anything outside of college in the past 6 months. Then again I am in a course where no one goes out and if they do it is with their own friends from their hometown. Any help would be appreciated!
Philosoraptor Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Worst that can happen is you get rejected. It's not the end of the world, so just make your intentions known and see where it ends up. 1
riggs Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi all, Basically I have been in college with an man the past year and we have become friends who talk but not a whole lot. We have never met outside of college. I feel a serious connection with him and have since we first meet. I am shy around him but not anyone else and maybe he has taken this as a sign that I do not like him as I never act flirty with him at all. We finish the course in three weeks and I am afraid I might never see him again but I don't want this to be the case. I know he is single and he is also ten years older than me but age does not matter to me but it might to him as I am 23. Would it be a good idea to ask him out? Or should I wait for him to ask me out. Part of my thinks he must just see me as a college acquaintance because he not asked to do anything outside of college in the past 6 months. Then again I am in a course where no one goes out and if they do it is with their own friends from their hometown. Any help would be appreciated! Go for it! Likely very little chance he cares you are 10 years younger. Most guys are attracted to younger women.
gaius Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Slip him your number sometime, he should be old enough to know what that means. I doubt he will ask for it since you never show him any special attention. 1
wwwjd Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 He might be thinking you would NOT be interested in him, being you are younger. If he's a professor or something, even more danger if he wanted to make the first move. Sure he is in NO relationship? If you've "listened" intently, looked into his eyes, smiled a lot... does he have a pulse?
Author thezappa Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 He might be thinking you would NOT be interested in him, being you are younger. If he's a professor or something, even more danger if he wanted to make the first move. Sure he is in NO relationship? If you've "listened" intently, looked into his eyes, smiled a lot... does he have a pulse? He might not think I do, we have become closer within the last few weeks. No he is not a professor, just a guy in my class who came back to get a better degree. I am 90% sure he is single! Ha and yes I am sure he has a pulse. Do you think I should forget about it because he hasn't asked me out yet? I keep thinking, if he liked me he would ask me but then again he could be thinking the same as I am.
Poppy_J Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 You should go for it! I am 24 and dating someone 8 years older. I had to go for it with him because he was a little bit nervous I would be intimidated by his age and think he was a little too old for me. Once he knew how I felt he was so happy and told me how he felt too. Put yourself out there and then you won't regret never having done it! Good luck
wwwjd Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 you should get in his face, smile alot, ask him about him, make fun jokes with him. that should be PLENTY of clear indications of your interest. If he doesn't bite, maybe let go, because he may not be interested in you that way. sucks but it happens. additionally, if he is not man enough to ask you, are you sure you would want him? you'd wear the pants then, make all the decisions, learn to disrespect his lack of being an action man, while he slowly allows himself to feel emasculated, until 10 years and 3 kids later, you catch him with the receptionist at his work and you have to get divorced now and take most of his money, leaving him a destitute, broken down, shell of a person who would rather be jobless, than pay back alimony to a greedy, non loving gold digger who took his manhood because he was spineless enough to LET you? Now I've said too much
riggs Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 you should get in his face, smile alot, ask him about him, make fun jokes with him. that should be PLENTY of clear indications of your interest. If he doesn't bite, maybe let go, because he may not be interested in you that way. sucks but it happens. additionally, if he is not man enough to ask you, are you sure you would want him? you'd wear the pants then, make all the decisions, learn to disrespect his lack of being an action man, while he slowly allows himself to feel emasculated, until 10 years and 3 kids later, you catch him with the receptionist at his work and you have to get divorced now and take most of his money, leaving him a destitute, broken down, shell of a person who would rather be jobless, than pay back alimony to a greedy, non loving gold digger who took his manhood because he was spineless enough to LET you? Now I've said too much I believe there are lyrics to a country song in there somewhere.
dasein Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 (edited) D you talk in class? If you kind of hang around after class near him and say something, he will either a) hang out for as long as you do, or b) chat for a second and then take off. He may be on a schedule, so notice whether he hurries off after class generally before trying this. Most men, if they are available and find you attractive will hang out and talk to you, and if given even small hints, will ask you out. Good luck. Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed reference to troll post
mesmerized Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Just invite him out. Ask him if he wants to go for a coffee or see a movie or something. If he is attracted to you, it shouldn't be that hard to get his attention. You have to flirt with him though, no reason to be shy. Do you think he is attracted to you?
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) :confused: She hasnt' said she's "got" him at all, in fact she is saying she likes him but he hasn't shown her any interest. Umm, nor did she say she "specifically" goes for older guys. She met a guy in her college class and likes him. IDK, I'm not the hugest fan of the guys who are all "wahoo when I'm 45 I'm totally banging 22 yr olds!! Over 25 can kick rocks!!!!" but this doesn't seem that way...at all... OP, if you like him and are relatively sure he is single, why don't you act more flirty? Are you nervous? If you can't flirt with him, would you really be able to slip him your #? Perhaps on the last day of class, so that if he never calls you won't have to see him in class. Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator deleted reference to troll post 1
mesmerized Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 :confused: She hasnt' said she's "got" him at all, in fact she is saying she likes him but he hasn't shown her any interest. Umm, nor did she say she "specifically" goes for older guys. She met a guy in her college class and likes him. IDK, I'm not the hugest fan of the guys who are all "wahoo when I'm 45 I'm totally banging 22 yr olds!! Over 25 can kick rocks!!!!" but this doesn't seem that way...at all... OP, if you like him and are relatively sure he is single, why don't you act more flirty? Are you nervous? If you can't flirt with him, would you really be able to slip him your #? Perhaps on the last day of class, so that if he never calls you won't have to see him in class. That's way too cheesy. She said they are friends...so she should be able to just talk to him, flirt with him and get an idea of how he feels about the matter.
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 That's way too cheesy. She said they are friends...so she should be able to just talk to him, flirt with him and get an idea of how he feels about the matter. Was just commenting on what was already presented in the thread. They really aren't friends, she said she is shy around him and not flirty. 1
mesmerized Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Was just commenting on what was already presented in the thread. They really aren't friends, she said she is shy around him and not flirty. Oh sorry, I should have read better.
kaylan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Older guys put younger women on such a pedestal that it would be super easy to get them. So I never understood the point of these threads. Young people know how good their market value is with older folks. Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator deleted troll discussion 1
dasein Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Dont be so naive bro. Some days I wish it were possible for me to be anything even close to "naive" in life again. Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator troll debate 1
veggirl Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 (edited) Some days I wish it were possible for me to be anything even close to "naive" in life again. I wanna be naive again too!! Actually, the one place I could possibly still be naive in is internet forums. Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator troll debate quote 1
mesmerized Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 I didn't notice In the last couple days or... ??? To be fair, we just had another thread like that lol
johan Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 In my opinion, people responding owe it to the original poster to take her at her word. If you can't, because you don't believe it, then it's better not to respond at all. You could be dumping all over a real person's attempt to get real feedback. There are no guidelines about this that I'm aware of, but I do know people have gotten infractions for calling others liars. 3
Stephanie Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 Dasein and Johan have it right. From the Community Guidelines... Each person that posts on the forum is to be treated with the utmost respect and civility regardless of how absurd or ridiculous the opinion expressed might seem to you from your perspective. Personal attacks against other participants will not be tolerated under any circumstances. We define personal attacks as posted comments which are intended to provoke, demean, or ridicule another participant. You may determine that you think a member is a troll and you can report that member and your concern. You can refrain from posting in the thread if you do not believe the OP is genuine but you cannot call someone a troll. It's disrespectful and goes against the Community Guidelines. Just thought I'd clear that up for ya
runner Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 You may determine that you think a member is a troll and you can report that member and your concern. You can refrain from posting in the thread if you do not believe the OP is genuine but you cannot call someone a troll. It's disrespectful and goes against the Community Guidelines. some of the comments on this thread (and in others as well) sounds like, 'look at me, i'm the all-important troll police, judge-jury-and-executioner !' ...there are moderators here for a reason, so put them to work. anyway, OP ... i assume finals are coming up. invent some sort of excuse to get together for some "studying" time on campus, sprinkle some fairy dust and then see what happens. if nothing happens then he's probably not that into you, or he's so dense that you're probably best not going on a date with him in the first place.
Author thezappa Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 No I am trolling! I am actually a 23 year old women finishing college in three weeks and looking for advise about a man I have met. Not all young women go for older men because of superficial reasons. I like him because I enjoy being around him and the way he treats me. He is a lovely, genuine person! Thank you all for the replies! I was talking to him last night and he probably is interested but both of us are thinking the same thing about the other not liking each other. I am really bad at flirting with anyone I like and extremely shy but I think I will bite the bullet and ask him for a drink when we finish exams 1
Oxy Moronovich Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 No I am trolling! I am actually a 23 year old women finishing college in three weeks and looking for advise about a man I have met. Not all young women go for older men because of superficial reasons. I like him because I enjoy being around him and the way he treats me. He is a lovely, genuine person! Thank you all for the replies! I was talking to him last night and he probably is interested but both of us are thinking the same thing about the other not liking each other. I am really bad at flirting with anyone I like and extremely shy but I think I will bite the bullet and ask him for a drink when we finish exams Looks like you meant to say, "No, I am not trolling." In any case, most trolls have accounts activated within the last year. You registered Dec 2010. I hardly think a troll would register so long ago and use their account sporadically. Anyway, good job, OP. Don't mind the bitter women calling you a troll. Around this forum many older women think older men/younger women relationships should be outlawed. You should be happy you're finding someone new.
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