nyne Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 So im just wanting to know if n e one can help me to figure this out or lemme kno if there is n e thing to figure out. I started havin casual sex with a childhood friend. our sitch was working out for a while. we would hang out, have sex and afterwards talk and spoon. i started to think about him alot whn he wasnt around n we would talk and text all the time. i was starting to like him and i wanted to kno his feelings. i was scared as hell to ask tho. i got my hurt in the past by someone and i didnt want to go thru that again. But we didnt stop the sex so i had to know if he felt the same way. So i found the courage to tell him twice. The first time the convo went like this ME: "i like you", HIM: i dont think we would coincide"... I was confused and didnt know what that mean but i played it off thinking i wouldnt look as salty. a few month later i said it again ME:" so i like you", HIM: "ok". ... i was so hurt and felt so small i didnt know what to do. i know i may sound a little stupid for asking this but, that means he doesnt like me rite? and if so why does he continue to have sex with me? we re friends so he would nt use me like that would he? he says im pretty, smart etc all the time, but i hurt my head and my heart trying to figure out why he doesnt like me..... any responses will help.. thanks
Reddice Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 i know i may sound a little stupid for asking this but, that means he doesnt like me rite? Yep! It means exactly that. and if so why does he continue to have sex with me? Because you let him. we re friends so he would nt use me like that would he? He doesn't have to work for it, so it's convenient to have you around. If he feels like it he can just hop on to you. he says im pretty, smart etc all the time, but i hurt my head and my heart trying to figure out why he doesnt like me..... any responses will help.. thanks Well... would you have sex with him if he didn't make you feel good beforehand?
jennisfora Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 he has no reason to have a relationship with you when he gets all the benefits without one. you are letting him use you. if he was a true friend, he would realize what was happening, and break this off, because it is confusing you emotionally. i would advise you to cut this guy off. it will hurt, but it will be for the best. you can't have sex with someone to get them to love you. it doesn't work that way. least, not for guys. women do have the bonding chemical that gets released during sex, it is why the FwB scenario doesn't always work. and usually doesn't work long term. someone does eventually get bonded, and want more. but, he clearly doesn't. so, stop letting him use you, so you can find someone that actually wants you. guys like sex, and sex without strings, even better. they don't have to worry about taking care of your needs, emotionally. but they get the physical part. plus, he can look around, and date around and it isn't cheating, because you aren't his girl. this is a bad situation for you, all around. this guy isn't looking out for your best interests, child friend or not. sorry aboutu all the generalizations about guys, it isn't always the case, but if a young guy has a girl letting him have her like that, some guys will just take it. he may have thought you had an understanding/agreement, and might have rationalized it. i would go NC, i would cut him out of your life for a while, til you get over him, and even then, be cautious around someone who used you. personally, i would cut him out for good, but like i said, i dont have all the information. you may have led him to believe you were cool with this set up. so, it might not be his fault of using you, but your fault for not looking out for your own interests. either way, get away and heal. 2
flitzanu Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 this is the inherent problem with trying to have "casual sex" with someone you like. you believe that by sleeping with them you're going to somehow convince them to date you...when obviously if they wanted to date you they'd try that before just hopping in bed with you, right? you're sex, that's it. and as soon as he finds another girl he's likely gonna drop you...and then come back to bang you again when his relationship falters.
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