NateC Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 So...I'm 21, in college, and I've never really dated before, so obviously this is all new to me. I haven't really had much luck and I graduate college next month, but yesterday I think things changed a bit. There's this girl that I talk with fairly often (especially the last couple weeks), so yesterday I made the suggestion to go see a movie. I live on a college campus without a car, so we walked the 45 minutes to the cinema and talked basically the entire way. We really didn't do much at the movies (except talk), but I felt like it might be going somewhere. When we got back, I told her that I liked her...and she didn't really say much. Instead, we went to hang out with some friends. I'm not sure if just revealing my feelings toward her was a good idea, but she probably figured it out before then anyway. I'm not quite sure where to go from here...I don't want to screw things up!
Philosoraptor Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I'd be worried that she didn't give you any sort of response when you said you liked her. I'd ask her out on a real date and see what her response is.
Poppy_J Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hmmm it is strange she didn't respond to that. Perhaps she was worried that you saw it as more of a date and she didn't and was a little surprised? Did you make it clear that it was a date type scenario (if it was)? Perhaps play it cool for a while and show her you aren't too full on even if your feelings are strong cause this may scare her off. Just see how she reacts around you next and perhaps talk about the film you saw together?
Author NateC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 I'm not really sure if she saw it as a date or not. I had planned it in advance so I knew what I wanted to do (basically test the waters to see if she had interest). I see her every day at school (residents at college) and she's talking to me still. I'm thinking it's because she has recently broken up with an ex after being together for less than a month...so she might not know what to do. My plan is just to continue to hang out with her and maybe try something else to do together...don't want to scare her off.
Poppy_J Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Just be cool and calm (I know sometimes thats not as easy as it sounds!) She knows how you feel so if you are nice to her and don't push her too much it should be okay. If she has just broken up with someone she may just be a little shy of a new relationship, this also depends who broke up with who aswell!
Author NateC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 He broke up with her. It doesn't help that I'm on the extreme shy side to begin with...it's almost like she would have to make the first move (like say, attempting to go for the hand holding while walking). It seems I can't work up the courage to do it myself.
Author NateC Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 Well...an update: I went on a walk with her today to a store that was about 30 minutes away. I was considering going for her hand as we were walking...but I didn't. I've been trying to be patient and see if I would get a hint that she's interested in more...but being new to all this, it's confusing. Any ideas? I really don't want to lose this chance if there's something there and I just can't see it.
Author NateC Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 I decided I'm going to try for a second date. There's a bowling alley just down the road, so it would be perfect. I can tell I'm really trying to get this to work because I'm looking at dating advice sites instead of studying...
amantis Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 When you walked to the store with her , did she ask you to go with her ?
Author NateC Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 It started as me wanting to get some stuff from the store. She offered to walk with me and that was that.
amantis Posted April 18, 2012 Posted April 18, 2012 Hum , thats a good sign then . And she knows that you like her . Just be careful , her boyfriend was the one breaking with her , it wasnt her choice ... even if you date her , maybe she is not ready for a long relationship with you .. i bet if the boyfriend tell her that he wants to get back... you know whats going to happen . Its up to you , see if she wants something with you , but be prepared .
Author NateC Posted April 18, 2012 Author Posted April 18, 2012 Unfortunately it looks like things didn't go as well as I'd hoped...I finally asked how she felt (because of the no response when I told her) and..."just friends". I mean, not like it couldn't develop into something else, but I doubt it at this point...
amantis Posted April 19, 2012 Posted April 19, 2012 You know you like her , so just be her friend be there for her ,and maybe she start looking at you in a diferent way , but dont be her friend expecting her to like you ... Maybe she still likes her ex . so give her time , have fun with her , and you never know
Author NateC Posted April 19, 2012 Author Posted April 19, 2012 That's my plan...I'm fine with being friends (used to it happening anyway..., but different story). What really bugs me that about 6 hours later, she posts on facebook about how guys that like her never ask for a date and that she will always be alone etc. I'm still at a loss on how to proceed, but I'm probably just going to let it go.
amantis Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 hum , ok Be a man then tell her that you want to go on a date with her , and spend time with her Go and do something funny , dont tell her that you love her or anything like that . If she say no , you know that she isnt interested in you , if she say yes go and have fun , and be a man , if you like her show her ( you dont need to tell her ) If the date goes well , just give her a big kiss I like to kiss in the middle of the date , that way you can kiss her more times if she wants . Just dont start with the love words , please . relax and have fun
dasein Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 Don't be just friends. Cultivate other options and move on, don't take breadcrumbs. Going forward, consider not talking about any weighty issues such as "liking," just be fun, flirty and physically forward and keep asking them out. Also, I don't think starting with handholding on long walks is the way to go. Get in situations where you can sit next to each other and talk, flirt and make jokes. If she is interested she will start touching you innocuously. After a certain amount of this, bend over and whisper something in her ear along the lines of "you are sexy when you do abc" then slowly pull back a bit, gauge whether she wants to kiss. Good luck.
loveshymanc Posted April 20, 2012 Posted April 20, 2012 How does she behave when you are together? Does she seem to flirt with you or is she kndifferent towards you?
Author NateC Posted April 20, 2012 Author Posted April 20, 2012 How does she behave when you are together? Does she seem to flirt with you or is she kndifferent towards you? She's flirty, but she's that way with a lot of people. She's already told me she doesn't have other kind of interest...so that chance is gone.
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