Ladies, be assured, this forum does NOT represent the majority of men

April 16, 2012

Thanks for your post, OP.

I do get after the die-hard PUA preachers, but just because they are so annoying. Truly, I would be surprised if many real "players" with tons of "game" would actually be spending much time here on LS or on the PUA fora, either, for that matter. They'd be too busy running day game from campus to campus and banging chicks for this! If you take the posts seriously, they wouldn't even have time for a job.

They're probably mostly just lonely guys looking for a way to feel empowered, and a social connection with other guys like them. I even believe that some of the basic premises behind the ridiculous lingo of PUA could be helpful to get dating and women in general demystified for these guys, and to get them out there. Unfortunately, this lingo and all the "tricks" seem to put women in a role of some kind of thing to manipulate, which offends my delicate sensibilities. And, they don't really seem to be getting out there much. Instead, they're evidently on their computers.

I know a lot of people in their early to mid 20's because of my daughter. They are mostly attractive, smart, hilarious, modern, savvy and they know how to have fun. Not even one of them can believe the PUA stuff. They have only heard of it from looking at Reddit (and laughing). None of them are "running game."

April 16, 2012

Honestly, the forum doesn't have a lot of regular single posters. Most of the regular females are married. There are lots of "one-off" female posters. I'd categorize the single female posters as:

1) The Naive Dater. "He only calls me at 3 am! Does he want a relationship?" "He tells me I need to lose weight and talks to his ex-gf every night, should I worry?"
2) The Optimistic Dater. This is kinda, sorta, the female equivalent of the "Eh Whatever" guy, except the female version usually puts a lot more effort into analyzing dating. A primary characteristic of these posters is they date a lot, but haven't found anyone who connects.
3) The Bitter. Honestly, though, I think there are only... 2, MAYBE 3 of us who fit this category. This forum is NOT the place to find bitter single women.

there are more than 2 or 3. When that older men wanting younger women thread was open they came out of hiding. The women show bitterness when certain things are talked about and the men on here just have a overall bitterness. Neither is more or not as bitter as the other

April 16, 2012

I was never under the impression that they did represent all men, OP. But, always good to be reassured! Honest to god, if they did, I'd consider it an honor to embrace single-cat-ladydom.

April 16, 2012

there are more than 2 or 3. When that older men wanting younger women thread was open they came out of hiding. The women show bitterness when certain things are talked about and the men on here just have a overall bitterness. Neither is more or not as bitter as the other

I'd agree with that to an extent, that women have bitterness about specific topics. But your statement that "neither is more or not as bitter as the other" doesn't make sense when you say that "men on here have an overall bitterness." If men have an overall bitterness, how can they have "equal or less" bitterness when women are bitter about only a few things??

When I say I think this forum represents single men's attitudes, what I mean is that the attitude I see on the forum is strongly reinforced by life. This attitude is "I have very high standards about females, that I don't necessarily hold myself to."

Most single guys seem willing to only date women who are the epitome of perfection. I suppose you could make the argument that women are this way... except that guys on this forum admit to it, and women on this forum say it's not true. Example: lots of female posters will say "We don't care about a man's height/income," whereas guys will totally admit they just women by their weight and physical appearance.

April 16, 2012

I'd agree with that to an extent, that women have bitterness about specific topics. But your statement that "neither is more or not as bitter as the other" doesn't make sense when you say that "men on here have an overall bitterness." If men have an overall bitterness, how can they have "equal or less" bitterness when women are bitter about only a few things??

When I say I think this forum represents single men's attitudes, what I mean is that the attitude I see on the forum is strongly reinforced by life. This attitude is "I have very high standards about females, that I don't necessarily hold myself to."

Most single guys seem willing to only date women who are the epitome of perfection. I suppose you could make the argument that women are this way... except that guys on this forum admit to it, and women on this forum say it's not true. Example: lots of female posters will say "We don't care about a man's height/income," whereas guys will totally admit they just women by their weight and physical appearance.

Overall bitterness meaning about dating in general. Negativity is negativity and any amount is harmful when it comes to dating. Bitterness shows when you are out here in the real world. I will say with the women it becomes a pity party. One will say one thing and some more will come on with the "yeah girl I know" type of response. I will say with the men it doesn't degenerate into a pity party. Look at the porn threads or the older men younger women that had to get closed because some of the women got angry.

No man wants the epitome of perfection. They just want what THEY want and that could be any number of things. If you would actually open your mind to that maybe dating would be different for you. I say maybe it would be different for the men and women on here.

April 16, 2012

When I say I think this forum represents single men's attitudes, what I mean is that the attitude I see on the forum is strongly reinforced by life. This attitude is "I have very high standards about females, that I don't necessarily hold myself to."

Has a man on here given their list of standards? Most women stereotypically think all men want are the supermodels. The reality is that its not true. There are women that have higher standards than men. These change when you actually get out there and meet people and you learn what is compatible with you.

April 16, 2012

Actually, I don't think the PUA contingent is well-represented on here. I mean, who actually do you know who you'd say is a PUA? There is on here instead a large contingent of bitter frustrated guys and Lovable Losers.

Thing is though, most PUAs are trying to learn social dynamics so they can meet the women they want to meet and have fulfilling relationships with them. Besides that, they are into self-improvement. So where's the beef?

Especially compared to all the whiners on this forum who just whine and complain and who hardly do anything to improve their lot in life, or the irresponsible clowns who some of the women on here are falling for.

April 16, 2012

Now that we are talking about the kind of guys on here that are over-represented, what can we say about the type of women on here that are over-represented? Hmmm......

April 16, 2012

I definitely agree that there are women here with just as much bitterness within, btw.

April 16, 2012

Has a man on here given their list of standards? Most women stereotypically think all men want are the supermodels. The reality is that its not true. There are women that have higher standards than men. These change when you actually get out there and meet people and you learn what is compatible with you.

Yeah, plenty of guys have given out their list of standards. Can't be fat, must be physically attractive (as in, no bad skin, droopy boobs, big nose, short hair, etc.)

Again, I don't think *all* guys want supermodels. But those guys that don't... are married/taken. It's the simple logic of supply/demand. More women want relationships than men. If you, as a man, don't have high standards in terms of physical requirements, then chances are you will be able to find a relationship very easily. So if you, as a man, are single and looking for a long period of time, then you probably have high standards.

And while guys do care about personality, this forum and my interaction with guys has confirmed that looks are first and foremost important.

Women do have higher standards, but they have higher standards in weird ways. What is super important to one girl isn't super important to the next. Women have a lot of diversity in their high standards.

But guys' high standards are all the same... be hot.

April 16, 2012

Yeah, plenty of guys have given out their list of standards. Can't be fat, must be physically attractive (as in, no bad skin, droopy boobs, big nose, short hair, etc.)

Again, I don't think *all* guys want supermodels. But those guys that don't... are married/taken. It's the simple logic of supply/demand. More women want relationships than men. If you, as a man, don't have high standards in terms of physical requirements, then chances are you will be able to find a relationship very easily. So if you, as a man, are single and looking for a long period of time, then you probably have high standards.

And while guys do care about personality, this forum and my interaction with guys has confirmed that looks are first and foremost important.

Women do have higher standards, but they have higher standards in weird ways. What is super important to one girl isn't super important to the next. Women have a lot of diversity in their high standards.

But guys' high standards are all the same... be hot.

To be fair, V, I think there are more guys like that than you give them credit for. Unfortunately, they aren't always repaid with love either. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322023-boyfriend-has-low-standards is a good example of that.

April 16, 2012

Yeah, plenty of guys have given out their list of standards. Can't be fat, must be physically attractive (as in, no bad skin, droopy boobs, big nose, short hair, etc.)

No. The same 3 guys and their easily identifiable 2-3 accolytes keep pushing these buttons to get a rise out of the forum. You need to keep this in perspective.

And while guys do care about personality, this forum and my interaction with guys has confirmed that looks are first and foremost important.

nope. Not my experience. Many guys easily find little details attractive about women. Or are you ignoring TheWholigan's most excellent posts on the topic, in favor of Dr.FeelGood's (he does love the bomb) button-pushing ones?

Women do have higher standards, but they have higher standards in weird ways. What is super important to one girl isn't super important to the next. Women have a lot of diversity in their high standards.

You're doing yourself a disservice if you think guys are all the same. They're not. They also are looking for different things in relationships.

April 16, 2012

No. The same 3 guys and their easily identifiable 2-3 accolytes keep pushing these buttons to get a rise out of the forum.

Aaaand this, too. I definitely think there are more bitter POSTS by male usernames than female, here, but that's really most likely because the males for some reason feel the need to spawn lots of underlings under a poor guise.

April 16, 2012

To be fair, V, I think there are more guys like that than you give them credit for. Unfortunately, they aren't always repaid with love either. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/dating/322023-boyfriend-has-low-standards is a good example of that.

... He isn't repaid in love because he's talked about how he dated fat and ugly girls out of desperation?? And that somehow should reinforce the idea that all guys don't have high standards, because he's now dating an incredibly beautiful woman?? Color me confused.

April 16, 2012

Yeah, plenty of guys have given out their list of standards. Can't be fat, must be physically attractive (as in, no bad skin, droopy boobs, big nose, short hair, etc.)

Again, I don't think *all* guys want supermodels. But those guys that don't... are married/taken. It's the simple logic of supply/demand. More women want relationships than men. If you, as a man, don't have high standards in terms of physical requirements, then chances are you will be able to find a relationship very easily. So if you, as a man, are single and looking for a long period of time, then you probably have high standards.

And while guys do care about personality, this forum and my interaction with guys has confirmed that looks are first and foremost important.

Women do have higher standards, but they have higher standards in weird ways. What is super important to one girl isn't super important to the next. Women have a lot of diversity in their high standards.

But guys' high standards are all the same... be hot.

Its crazy to basically put men in a box and say we have a universal set of standards and in the same breath say women don't. Neither gender does. You are single now because of this. You assume men don't want you because you think they want a universally hot woman. Hot women are different for every man. I bet there is someone that thinks you are hot. It the main thing with men and women. We dedicate ourselves to a certain pool of men or women and create our own frustration and bitterness. Then at the same time there are people that are attracted to us and we if we saw them and knew would be attracted to them. I say this is one the problems with a lot of users on here. We sit and focus on a small group and let people that could be compatible with us pass us by

April 16, 2012

Yeah, plenty of guys have given out their list of standards. Can't be fat, must be physically attractive (as in, no bad skin, droopy boobs, big nose, short hair, etc.)

Again, I don't think *all* guys want supermodels. But those guys that don't... are married/taken. It's the simple logic of supply/demand. More women want relationships than men. If you, as a man, don't have high standards in terms of physical requirements, then chances are you will be able to find a relationship very easily. So if you, as a man, are single and looking for a long period of time, then you probably have high standards.

And while guys do care about personality, this forum and my interaction with guys has confirmed that looks are first and foremost important.

Women do have higher standards, but they have higher standards in weird ways. What is super important to one girl isn't super important to the next. Women have a lot of diversity in their high standards.

But guys' high standards are all the same... be hot.

Most guys i know have as standard just 'don't be fat and don't get fat' and 'show me how you truly are before getting serious'.

Hair color or length doesn't matter that much, breast sizes don't matter that much since we know how bad ones with implants feel, we know that giving birth changes your hips ... just don't get fat and don't turn psycho on us. Don't pretend like you have the same sex drive as us if you don't, don't hide the bad things about you ... you get the ideea.

April 16, 2012

Okay, I admit that that wasn't the best example. I made some assumptions after non-response from the OP, as it really sounds like she incited those comments from him out of insecure needling, and is making her own assumptions about him that were not necessarily true. It just doesn't strike me as the sort of things a guy would say out of the blue, and she also said a lot of insecure things in her post (how the girls he said were 'cute' actually weren't to her, etc). But I could be wrong.

April 16, 2012

Its crazy to basically put men in a box and say we have a universal set of standards and in the same breath say women don't. Neither gender does. You are single now because of this. You assume men don't want you because you think they want a universally hot woman. Hot women are different for every man. I bet there is someone that thinks you are hot. It the main thing with men and women. We dedicate ourselves to a certain pool of men or women and create our own frustration and bitterness. Then at the same time there are people that are attracted to us and we if we saw them and knew would be attracted to them. I say this is one the problems with a lot of users on here. We sit and focus on a small group and let people that could be compatible with us pass us by

I assume men don't want me because they make it clear they don't want me. And men on this forum have confirmed why.... because I don't fit any of the physical standards that guys lay out. This is not rocket science.

How many dozens and dozens threads are there about "Ugh ugly girls flirt with me!" "Ugh only fat women message me" "Fat girls lie with their pictures!" "My girlfriend gained weight, I'm dumping her" "Hot girls won't pay attention to me, waahh"... and you wanna claim there isn't at least ONE universal standard?

April 16, 2012

It's the simple logic of supply/demand. More women want relationships than men.

How the heck did you come to that conclusion?

Based on everything I have seen, there are far more single and looking guys then there are single and looking girls.

The main reason for this is that women are much more likely to take themselves out of the dating game then men are. I've personally known a handful of girls who just didn't want to date anybody at all. In other words, they were choosing to be single. It's very rare for guys to do that.

That's how the supply and demand actually works.

Edited April 17, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator

April 16, 2012

I assume men don't want me because they make it clear they don't want me. And men on this forum have confirmed why.... because I don't fit any of the physical standards that guys lay out. This is not rocket science.

How many dozens and dozens threads are there about "Ugh ugly girls flirt with me!" "Ugh only fat women message me" "Fat girls lie with their pictures!" "My girlfriend gained weight, I'm dumping her" "Hot girls won't pay attention to me, waahh"... and you wanna claim there isn't at least ONE universal standard?

That is no claim. Every man wants something different its the same as women. Just to show you how untrue that was there were guys on here that thought you looked good. I will say in a relationship if you do get comfortable and let yourself go meaning you don't do the things that you did in the initial stages that can potentially be a problem. It like I said before men and women often focus on a small pool of potential partners when there is an ocean and then claim its the same for every person of that gender. It doesn't work that way

April 16, 2012

I have gotten the hint. Thus my bitterness, and why I get angry when people on this forum continue to claim that "guys find lots of things attractive!" "looks don't matter that much!" "guys have lots of different standards!"

Edited April 16, 2012 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
removed quoted post that was in violation

April 16, 2012

You just messed up your own logic. If the obese women 'don't count', then the obese men 'don't count' either. Which puts us back on equal ground.

Because really, it doesn't make sense that given an approximately equal number of men and women, there would be 'far more single men than women'. Where are the missing women going? Harems, lesbian relationships?

I wouldn't say "harems" exactly, but men are far more likely to be dating or in relationships with multiple women than women are with men. Even if the top 10 or 15% of men are doing this that still takes away a lot of women out of the dating pool.

April 16, 2012

Really? How many men do YOU know personally who are in relationships with multiple women (who themselves aren't with multiple men)?

I don't know a single polygynous relationship IRL.

April 16, 2012

I am so very glad that yet again, obese women don't even get to be treated as people, according to you. They "don't even count" as looking for relationships.

*This* is what I mean when I say that single men on this forum represent single men out in the world. Every single guy I have met, and nearly every single guy on this forum has expressed this attitude. "Obese women are gross and don't count." Again, looks being the things that matters first and foremost.

I know only a few guys who think like this, and they are definitely of the more immature, superficial ilk whom I think a woman would be lucky NOT to date. They aren't in the majority, V!

April 16, 2012

I know only a few guys who think like this, and they are definitely of the more immature, superficial ilk whom I think a woman would be lucky NOT to date. They aren't in the majority, V!

Not the majority of men, I agree. But the majority of single men... that's another story.

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