dumpedandsore Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 I have been seeing this guy recently for few months. We are considered to be in a relationship. However, I noticed some red flags that made me want to re-consider our relationship: (1) He adds many hot-looking girls randomly on his facebook; (2) He continues to surf and access dating and social networking sites while we are already together; (3) He openly beo (eyes) good-looking girls on the streets while we are together; 4) He doesn't contact me everyday, prefers to send hi , have a great day kinda of "template sms"; 5) He tells me about his desire to know more new female friends to widen his social network and have them as confidant as he missed out the opportunities when he was younger and schooling; and 6) He dislikes physical intimacy I do not know if he is really interested/into me. I broached the topic with him few times and even discussed about breaking up but he insisted in remaining together and assured me that he will change. However, old habits die hard and I still see these behaviours in him. However , he just doesn' t want to break-up. He gets rather emotional whenever I suggested breaking up so that we can both seek an ideal partner. I told him if he wants to know more female friends, we can break-up and he has all the freedom to know more new female friends, and perhaps meet a better girl for himself. But he simply declined. Should i continue to date him then? He assured me repeatedly that he loves me and sees me as "the one"............
firehawk_1 Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 LEAVE HIM! a relationship is meant to be commitment. no one (man or woman!) should be seeing other people or adding the opposite sex onto social media sites. this is the problem with todays society. always want the next thing even if you are with someone. why? its pathetic leave him. he must learn his lesson and you deserve better
ScienceGal Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 He won't change. accept that. Given all the things you listed, can you truly be happy with him as he is right now? IMO, I think you can find a better match. It also might be that he is just keeping you around while he browses for something new... he doesn't seem like keeper material to me. He shouldn't need female confidants just because he missed out on it when he was younger. Many adults look to make intimate connections to members of the opposite sex because they are looking to have a relationship with long term potential. While this isn't always the case, it is the majority of the time. Just read some posts on here about how people are upset to be "friend zoned". No one surfs dating sites to look for new friends. And what are the details regarding his dislike of physical intimacy? Things just don't seem to be meshing well...
Radu Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 What do you mean he dislikes physical intimacy ? Even if he was keeping his options open he would be more than happy with physical intimacy.
veggirl Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 He 'loves' you, you are 'the one' but he doesn't want to be physical, is active on dating sites, and blatantly checks out other women. Does that add up to you? Not to mention the whole "I deserve XYZ now because I didn't have it back then". How immature. You should definitely NOT continue to date this guy.
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