rusty_boi Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi everyone, sorry its long Very quickly, my love life has been horrible. Still a virgin, last gf was when i was 14 and only recently have i been going on dates (yet to make it past 1 date with a girl). Well about 4 years ago i met this girl through some mutual friends, we were just graduated from high school at this time. Turns out at the time she had seen a photo of me and said i was cute. I was introduced to her at a party, all of our mutual friends kind of pushed me to make a move on her and i asked her out that night (granted i was drunk). She kind of gave me a vague answer at the time, however i did get her phone number. Later when we were all talking in a group she dropped that she had started seeing someone (her friends were just as shocked as i was). I had nothing to do with her after that as i was of the belief she wasnt interested and made up her boyfriend because she didnt want to go on a date with me. Its funny because i thought i would never see her again, and to be honest i just forgot about her. I joined the police force and got my posting. Now apart of my duties is to attend Mcdonalds to obtain meals for prisoners we have at the station. I never go to this mcdonalds unless its for a prisoner meal. So one day when i attend, guess who i see working behind the counter (Its even more of a coincidence, because she only works really short hours once a week). So we caught up and she asked me what i had been doing with myself. I was at the time planning my 21st birthday party and i politely invited her (thinking she would say no, but seeing how i mentioned it i couldnt not invite her). She funnily enough ended up attending and my brother in law approached me on the night of my party saying i should ask her out because he thinks she likes me from when he spoke to her. I ended up asking her out again (blind drunk), and the answer i got was "I cant i have a boyfriend." The next day i was really embarrassed about a lot of things i had done in a drunk state i.e. stripping to my underwear. And i apologised to her if i had made her uncomfortable when i asked her out. So a week later i attended another 21st birthday of one of my friends. I wasnt drinking because i was still trying to recover from my own 21st party, i slapped on whatever clothes i had on and to be honest put no effort into looking my best. I did not know she would be attending this party, and when we i saw her and spoke it was like nothing happened the week before. She got drinking and said to me that i should be her boyfriend at the party she kept saying "Hi boyfriend". She held my hand all night and we danced. So we go outside and sit down when the party is over, and she said to me "Your really great. I just wish we had met earlier." I said to her "Oh well, what can you do." She replied "Thats not a good answer." I told her that she knows how i feel, but im not going to break her and her boyfriend up. So i wait with her and her friends until her boyfriend arrives and he drives them all home. Her and i talk on and off for the next few months on facebook, she then ends up breaking up with her boyfriend last year. So we start to flirt, a lot and i ask her out again and she would say yes, but cancel last minute, this went on for a while. She also called and woke me up one night when she was drinking asking if i would come over to her friends house, she changed her mind when she realises im half asleep though. So I went overseas last August and on returning decide to cut her out of my life completely because im tired of her games, and i put it down to her being a flirt. I get a text a few months after this with her new mobile number, which i dont think too much of. Anyway i do a lot of soul searching and let her go completely, i then became a new person who finally believes in himself. You see i had never asked a girl out once, let alone repeatedly. It gave me the confidence to not see it as a big deal if i get turned down. About a month ago i downloaded an iphone app "draw something" (Pictionary on your iphone with people from your facebook, for those who arent tech savvy). I pick 2 close friends to play it with only, and as im scrolling down the list i see her name and it kind of jumps out at me (no idea why). So i start a game with her too (Im over her by now and im a new person so i cant get hurt) and we get talking again. I then tease her about doing nothing but studying (Because she is doing her masters degree in podiatry, which was part of the reason she didnt want to date earlier too), then she says to me. "im not like that any more, im a single girl, so i do still go out." Im thinking at this stage, its time i have an honest conversation with her, so i say "Ill have to admit, im suprised your still single. A great catch like you, i would have thought you would of found someone else by now." she said "Im not a catch! it just sucks you and i met at the wrong time." I say to her "Some say normal, i say your a catch. Nothing you can do about when we met, thats just life i guess. Maybe one day if our lives arent so crazy, well more yours than mine." She said "I agree, i always liked a guy in uniform." I said "Ive always had a thing for doctors." She confirms if i have her new number and i say i do, then she suggests we catch up soon. To be honest i think nothing of this just a little harmless flirting until she asks me to attend drinks at her friends house one night when i finish work. Now these were once mutual friends of mine, but i lost contact with all of them, she knows that too. I agree to attend, and because i had to work i attend late. Funnily enough when i arrive there are all the guys on one side of the table, and all the girls on the other. Only one chair is free next to Mel though. We get talking and i invited one of her friends "Jackie" to Europe with me because she just broke up with her boyfriend and has never travelled. So anyway im sitting next to Mel and we are playful but we dont get a chance to speak a whole lot. We do work out that we will try things properly later on in the year because she is doing an internship in the country for two months and when she gets back i go to Europe. Mel keeps flirting via texts with one of the guys (who i used to be close friends with) on the other end of the table. She then says he shouldn't smoke to which he gets defensive and i say "She only says it because she cares." Mel seems to be unhappy i said this for some reason. When he leaves she says to me "Your friend needs a life." And shows me a text from him asking if she misses him. I tell her she flirts back so its not all him, and she likes the attention. We all talk some more and I ask Jackie to sit next to me, to talk about Europe. Mel keeps looking over at me this whole time. Jackie and i have a discussion about me and Mel where Jackie says "If she didnt like you, she wouldnt have invited you tonight. Mel likes attention she just needs the right attention." We all continue talking chit chat and Mel then dissapears with Jackie for ages because she is drunk and crying a lot. I decide to leave because i have to work the next day, everyone says Mel is probably passed out so i say goodbye to whoever is at the table and leave. As im driving Mel texts me saying she is shocked i didnt say goodbye and she wanted to talk to me more. She reiterates this a few times, and i tell her i thought she was past out. I also ask if Jackie needs to be taken home because i was willing to turn around. So two days later i ask her for Jackie mobile number and Mel texts it to me. The following day i get a text from her about 10pm saying she is bored and cant sleep, i told her she gets two hours of entertainment then i finish work and im going home. We keep talking and i say to her ill pop over her house after work if she wants to hang out, and i offer to keep it pg rated. I dont want to sleep with her because it will complicate things and i finally have some direction with her. I tell her i wont be dressed nice because im coming straight from work, which she tells me she wont either she is in her pyjamas. So i go over her house (And i noticed she changed into nice clothes because of me) and i learn a few things. I learn that her last boyfriend stalked her which is why she kept cancelling our dates initially, because he would follow her places. I learn that because of her ex she changed her number and only a handful of people got her number (of which i was one of 5 males, and 3 were family members). I learn that she invited me to her friends house because she doesnt like "My friend" which is part of the reason she wanted me to come because she feels safe with me there. "My friend" apparently got really angry at her when she didnt give him her new number for some reason, she said she didn't because she does not like him. Mel also asks me if i was going to ask Jackie out, and if thats why i wanted her number. I told her no it was because of Europe (Ok so this one i played her, i knew she would get jealous if i asked for the number. I had already spoken to Jackie in facebook about Europe). We also agreed to keep things how they are at the moment, where we just hang out as friends when we can fit each other in, until her studies slow down at the end of the year. She graduates in November, i get back from Europe mid October, so this actually suits me too. So this was our first serious conversation we had ever had one on one, and i can honestly say it was the only time with a girl conversation did not feel forced, i was not nervous, and we just clicked, we weren't afraid to tease each other and flirt. I have been on a lot of first dates and none have been that easy. So i guess what im asking is "is this worth waiting for?" I mean personally (and correct me if im wrong) it appears fate is intervening quite a bit to make sure we stay in contact. This kind of thing never happens to me, i have only ever seen it in the romantic comedies. My plan is to still date other girls and enjoy Europe, etc. But given the story, and circumstances is it worth at least entertaining this idea when i get back?? I mean given how much i have pulled away there is always something drawing us back together
Radu Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Hi everyone, sorry its long Very quickly, my love life has been horrible. Still a virgin, last gf was when i was 14 and only recently have i been going on dates (yet to make it past 1 date with a girl). one of my best friends lost his virginity at 25 to his wife ... being a virgin at 21 or so is not unusual so get over it Well about 4 years ago i met this girl through some mutual friends, we were just graduated from high school at this time. Turns out at the time she had seen a photo of me and said i was cutegirls/women will say that about lots of things, even stuffed dolls ... you think they date stuffed dolls ?. I was introduced to her at a party, all of our mutual friends kind of pushed me to make a move on her and i asked her out that night (granted i was drunk). She kind of gave me a vague answer at the time, however i did get her phone number. Later when we were all talking in a group she dropped that she had started seeing someone (her friends were just as shocked as i was). I had nothing to do with her after that as i was of the belief she wasnt interested and made up her boyfriend because she didnt want to go on a date with me. good, ppl who cheat on their SO are scum Its funny because i thought i would never see her again, and to be honest i just forgot about her. I joined the police force and got my posting. Now apart of my duties is to attend Mcdonalds to obtain meals for prisoners we have at the station. I never go to this mcdonalds unless its for a prisoner meal. So one day when i attend, guess who i see working behind the counter (Its even more of a coincidence, because she only works really short hours once a week). So we caught up and she asked me what i had been doing with myself. I was at the time planning my 21st birthday party and i politely invited her (thinking she would say no, but seeing how i mentioned it i couldnt not invite her). She funnily enough ended up attending and my brother in law approached me on the night of my party saying i should ask her out because he thinks she likes me from when he spoke to her. I ended up asking her out again (blind drunk), and the answer i got was "I cant i have a boyfriend." The next day i was really embarrassed about a lot of things i had done in a drunk state i.e. stripping to my underwear. And i apologised to her if i had made her uncomfortable when i asked her out. never apologize for something unless you truly offend someone; in this situation you shouldn't have apologized ... i would however watch my alcohol intake from now on ... police officer and all that So a week later i attended another 21st birthday of one of my friends. I wasnt drinking because i was still trying to recover from my own 21st party, i slapped on whatever clothes i had on and to be honest put no effort into looking my best. I did not know she would be attending this party, and when we i saw her and spoke it was like nothing happened the week before. She got drinking and said to me that i should be her boyfriend at the party she kept saying "Hi boyfriend". She held my hand all night and we danced. So we go outside and sit down when the party is over, and she said to me "Your really great. I just wish we had met earlier." I said to her "Oh well, what can you do." She replied "Thats not a good answer." I told her that she knows how i feel, but im not going to break her and her boyfriend up. So i wait with her and her friends until her boyfriend arrives and he drives them all home. she was basically asking you to make a move on her, to cheat on her bf; this girl is scum or immature. Do not think that alcohol excuses this, you know as well as i do that alcohol removes inhibitions. That was her true self. Her and i talk on and off for the next few months on facebook, she then ends up breaking up with her boyfriend last year. So we start to flirt, a lot and i ask her out again and she would say yes, but cancel last minute, this went on for a while. She also called and woke me up one night when she was drinking asking if i would come over to her friends house, she changed her mind when she realises im half asleep though. So I went overseas last August and on returning decide to cut her out of my life completely because im tired of her games, and i put it down to her being a flirt. I get a text a few months after this with her new mobile number, which i dont think too much of. talking on FB after the party above could be easily considered Emotional Affair ... again this girl shows to you her true colours. She plays with you and wants attention, good thing you figured it out. Anyway i do a lot of soul searching and let her go completely, i then became a new person who finally believes in himself. You see i had never asked a girl out once, let alone repeatedly. It gave me the confidence to not see it as a big deal if i get turned down. About a month ago i downloaded an iphone app "draw something" (Pictionary on your iphone with people from your facebook, for those who arent tech savvy). I pick 2 close friends to play it with only, and as im scrolling down the list i see her name and it kind of jumps out at me (no idea why). So i start a game with her too (Im over her by now and im a new person so i cant get hurt) and we get talking again. I then tease her about doing nothing but studying (Because she is doing her masters degree in podiatry, which was part of the reason she didnt want to date earlier too), then she says to me. "im not like that any more, im a single girl, so i do still go out." Im thinking at this stage, its time i have an honest conversation with her, so i say "Ill have to admit, im suprised your still single. A great catch like you, i would have thought you would of found someone else by now." she said "Im not a catch! it just sucks you and i met at the wrong time." I say to her "Some say normal, i say your a catch. Nothing you can do about when we met, thats just life i guess. Maybe one day if our lives arent so crazy, well more yours than mine." She said "I agree, i always liked a guy in uniform." I said "Ive always had a thing for doctors." She confirms if i have her new number and i say i do, then she suggests we catch up soon. you don't do soul searching for a few months, it's not something you program. You either decide to change and make it the focus of your life or you don't. This soul searching bullcrap is the same reason that ppl can't keep to a diet, because it's forced and it's short. As for the girl, you still ended up giving her attention, you stroked her ego. You don't do that crap, especially to one you suspect to be an attention whore. And what's worse, you couldn't even keep your diet on. Instead of going NC and moving on, you got right back into the same bull**** with this immature brat. To be honest i think nothing of this just a little harmless flirting until she asks me to attend drinks at her friends house one night when i finish work. Now these were once mutual friends of mine, but i lost contact with all of them, she knows that too. I agree to attend, and because i had to work i attend late. Funnily enough when i arrive there are all the guys on one side of the table, and all the girls on the other. Only one chair is free next to Mel though. We get talking and i invited one of her friends "Jackie" to Europe with me because she just broke up with her boyfriend and has never travelled. So anyway im sitting next to Mel and we are playful but we dont get a chance to speak a whole lot. We do work out that we will try things properly later on in the year because she is doing an internship in the country for two months and when she gets back i go to Europe. Mel keeps flirting via texts with one of the guys (who i used to be close friends with) on the other end of the table. She then says he shouldn't smoke to which he gets defensive and i say "She only says it because she cares." Mel seems to be unhappy i said this for some reason. When he leaves she says to me "Your friend needs a life." And shows me a text from him asking if she misses him. I tell her she flirts back so its not all him, and she likes the attention. We all talk some more and I ask Jackie to sit next to me, to talk about Europe. Mel keeps looking over at me this whole time. Jackie and i have a discussion about me and Mel where Jackie says "If she didnt like you, she wouldnt have invited you tonight. Mel likes attention she just needs the right attention."Jackie is smart, listen to her. Even her friend knows this about her. Why will you not listen ? We all continue talking chit chat and Mel then dissapears with Jackie for ages because she is drunk and crying a lot which one is drunk ?; not that it matters. I decide to leave because i have to work the next day, everyone says Mel is probably passed out so i say goodbye to whoever is at the table and leave. As im driving Mel texts me saying she is shocked i didnt say goodbye and she wanted to talk to me more. She reiterates this a few times, and i tell her i thought she was past out. I also ask if Jackie needs to be taken home because i was willing to turn around. So two days later i ask her for Jackie mobile number and Mel texts it to me. The following day i get a text from her about 10pm saying she is bored and cant sleep, i told her she gets two hours of entertainment then i finish work and im going home. We keep talking and i say to her ill pop over her house after work if she wants to hang out, and i offer to keep it pg rated. I dont want to sleep with her because it will complicate things and i finally have some direction with her. so ... did you have a man in your life as a rolemodel ? I tell her i wont be dressed nice because im coming straight from work stop apologizing for yourself ffs, which she tells me she wont either she is in her pyjamas. So i go over her house (And i noticed she changed into nice clothes because of me and you still offer her attention) and i learn a few things. I learn that her last boyfriend stalked her which is why she kept cancelling our dates initially, because he would follow her places has it ever occured to you as a member of the police department to see if her last BF was reported for this ?. I learn that because of her ex she changed her number and only a handful of people got her number (of which i was one of 5 males, and 3 were family members i doubt it). I learn that she invited me to her friends house because she doesnt like "My friend" which is part of the reason she wanted me to come because she feels safe with me there ego stroking. "My friend" apparently got really angry at her when she didnt give him her new number for some reason, she said she didn't because she does not like him. Mel also asks me if i was going to ask Jackie out, and if thats why i wanted her number oh noes, she's worried about competition, she needs her fix of attention . I told her no it was because of Europe (Ok so this one i played her, i knew she would get jealous if i asked for the number. I had already spoken to Jackie in facebook about Europe). We also agreed to keep things how they are at the moment, where we just hang out as friends when we can fit each other in, until her studies slow down at the end of the year. She graduates in November, i get back from Europe mid October, so this actually suits me too. So this was our first serious conversation we had ever had one on one how many yrs later has it been now for you to have this 'serious' conversation; you just said that you will play according to how she says, and i can honestly say it was the only time with a girl conversation did not feel forced, i was not nervous, and we just clicked, we weren't afraid to tease each other and flirt. I have been on a lot of first dates and none have been that easy. So i guess what im asking is "is this worth waiting for?" I mean personally (and correct me if im wrong) it appears fate is intervening quite a bit to make sure we stay in contact cut out the crappy sappy romantic comedies ... were you raised on them ?. This kind of thing never happens to me, i have only ever seen it in the romantic comedies. My plan is to still date other girls and enjoy Europe, etc. But given the story, and circumstances is it worth at least entertaining this idea when i get back?? I mean given how much i have pulled away there is always something drawing us back togetheryes, it's her need for male attention that is pulling you 2 closer Dude, i heard that men in the US are socially programmed to be wussies, but c'mon ... First of all if you did those mandatory courses at the police academy where they tell you that all men are evil perpetrators of horrendous crimes towards females, realise they are mostly full of fiction (but with some fact). She is playing you. There is a small small small chance that she in fact had all of those things happen to her, but the reality is probably the above. Cut the romantic comedies from your life, go and start dating. Go and ask girls out on dates, and when you are on this try to go with a 'buddy' attitude. I mean, see her as a new potential male friend and just have fun ... just cut loose. Do not attach to the date the ideea that you are performing for her on stage, or that you are not interested in sexing her (which you are unless you are gay).
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