Does he want to seperated or not !

[Shazbob]

Me and my husband have been married for 19 years, but after a lot of arguments over the last few months told me at the beginning of March he wants to seperate and divorce me saying he cares for me but isnt in love with me , even though i dont .We have always had a turbulent relationship as we are both very strong minded, both made mistakes , and both hurt each other , but made up and carried on , preferring to brush it under the carpet .This has caused a lot of distrust and suspicion on both sides , especially for me , and that has ended up with us both arguing , mostly over nothing , to the point where he has said he wants to seperate . The problem is he still wants to live in the house because he says he can't afford to move out , (although he did get over £ 1000 and preferred to get clothes etc with it and i know he could afford to live on his own ) I know this is quite common nowadays and although he sleeps in a seperate bedroom , he has made no attempt to 'seperate ' our lives , he has said while he lives in the house he will pay all the bills , is giving me a set amount of money every month , is getting the weekly food in ,etc he tells me about his job , tells me where he will be going for his job and when he will be back , offers to give me lifts if I need it, we did, last week , go out for a meal together as ' just friends ' , has phoned to ask if I needed anything bringing in , and turned down the offer of payment for it , we text each other most days if he is away .He has said he was going to see a solicitor on certains days but when that day comes he is in another part of the country has said he can't open a bank account in his name because he needs an address first, has said when he gets enough Money to pay deposits and rent he will move out , has said he hasn't got time to look at places because of work commitments , and when asked to give me dates that he intends to move out has constantly moved the date forward ( it's now end of May ) , and all the time keeps 'reminding me ' it's over and we are going to seperate , saying he wants it to be civil and says that I wanted it to be friendly and that's all it is , I am so confused , he is telling me one thing and acting another does he want to seperate or not

[PegNosePete]

I would bet my bottom dollar he is having an affair.

 

He seems to say a lot, but do absolutely nothing. If the marriage is over, which it certainly sounds as though it is, then you should file for divorce yourself. If you wait for him then you'll be waiting forever. You should use unreasonable behaviour, you don't need to be separated first and you don't need his permission or cooperation.