Tips for college men

[jobaba]

 

I'm sorry that the above has been your experience. As I said before, I think this suggestion is a good one. However, I want to caution the guys reading this thread to not try it with a girl whom they're not genuinely interested in with the wrong motive of 'she can't possibly reject me'. This approach has a twofold danger: Firstly, they're bound to get a helluva lot more depressed when they ARE rejected for having the wrong motive (because the girl actually does have some self-worth, surprise surprise); and secondly, those girls deserve a guy who actually likes them for who they are.

 

Well, to be fair it hasn't been my whole experience. I am currently dating a woman who accepts me for my motivation and how I treat her, not for material things. I am going through a career change and she's totally supportive.

 

But in general, even with women I have dated ... yes it's true.

[dasein]

Make no mistake, OP, those women are getting tons of attention when they go out at night. What makes you think they are dressed and made up to go out when they are on their way to class?

[somedude81]

I don't think women like the OP describes even exist. I've met women who fit the physical description, but their confidence and sense of self worth are still pretty high. So high, in fact that they wanted nothing to do with me. At least in the romantic sense.

 

Most women seem to develop self esteem pretty early and tend to keep it.

I've actually known a few women with self-esteem issues. But it certainly didn't make them any easier to date. My guess it actually make things more difficult.

Well, the way the OP sounded to me was that he felt you guys should hit on those girls because they have 'low self-esteem and therefore would be happy about just any guy hitting on them'. That, I don't agree with. I do agree that women who don't prioritize looks for themselves also tend to not prioritize them in a partner though, so that makes his idea a good one in that case.

Oh, that's what you were talking about.

 

Yeah I didn't get that impression at all.

 

Just that those girls are going to more down to Earth than all the other girls who are dressed to the nines.

[jobaba]

Well, the way the OP sounded to me was that he felt you guys should hit on those girls because they have 'low self-esteem and therefore would be happy about just any guy hitting on them'. That, I don't agree with. I do agree that women who don't prioritize looks for themselves also tend to not prioritize them in a partner though, so that makes his idea a good one in that case.

 

Well. The men that would be taking this suggestion would be socially backwards in the same vein.

 

Also, what's wrong with a girl feeling flattered about being asked out because she doesn't get a lot of attention.

 

I think it's innocent and romantic.

 

A lot more so than the posts here about average looking women getting 5 dates a week from online dating.

[ThaWholigan]

Make no mistake, OP, those women are getting tons of attention when they go out at night. What makes you think they are dressed and made up to go out when they are on their way to class?

This. The most unassuming chicks at Uni and college, were the ones who were dressed to the 9s on Happy Mondays

[Els]

I've actually known a few women with self-esteem issues. But it certainly didn't make them any easier to date. My guess it actually make things more difficult.

 

Oh, that's what you were talking about.

 

Yeah I didn't get that impression at all.

 

Just that those girls are going to more down to Earth than all the other girls who are dressed to the nines.

 

I'm not entiiiiirely certain about that either, but it is definitely a possibility.

 

Also, what's wrong with a girl feeling flattered about being asked out because she doesn't get a lot of attention.

 

Definitely better than the troll posts. But I think what is wrong is if the guy does it JUST because he thinks she must have low self esteem and is less likely to reject him, even though he doesn't really like her. That would suck for both parties.

[PlumPrincess]

Or they had an early morning class and didn't feel like waking up an hour earlier to do their hair and makeup. When I was in college, most of us went to our morning classes in pj's and eventually changed into real clothes around lunchtime. Because our first thought upon waking was "I gotta get to class," not "I gotta look attractive for the guys." Believe it or not, impressing the guys was not our top priority.

PJs to class?? I think I could never ever leave the house in the morning without brushing my teeth and putting on some proper clothes.

[LZ2000]

I didn't even bother wasting my time with dating in College (i've graduated from college by the way).

 

Honestly, I wouldn't want to date a woman (most likely a young woman) who is spending her time in an educational institution studying and "in the process of *discovering* and *growing* through academic life at a young age", because student life can be chaotic with many factors constantly influencing one's outlook in life and therefore, anything could change in the mindset of a college student.

[spinaroonie]

Great post OP.

 

Almost every college campus has more girls than guys. On a campus that's 60% female, 1/3 of girls are sleeping alone. Find that 1/3.

 

Lots of guys think every hot 20 year old is surrounded by a huge social circle of frat guys and athletes trying to holler at her. This might be true of the peroxide blonde party girl at a huge state school with a big hookup scene but it’s not true for every girl.

 

There are a lot of somewhat shy, lonely young college girls because they don’t go out much. They major in 80% chick programs like psychology and don’t meet a lot of new guys. Assuming you’re better than any of the single guys in her immediate social circle, these girls are easier to date.

 

Guys just need to choose their girls wisely. Don’t chase after the varsity athletes or the sorority sluts and social butterflies. For every attention-whoring peroxide blonde skanking it up at the clubs every weekend, there’s just as many girls spending their weekends working on their lab report or staying home watching Twilight. They don’t go out much because they’re sick of immature frat dudes and lame inexperienced dorks. They hop on the bus, go to their 80% chick lectures, study at the library, get involved in a club or play some intramural sport, and hop on the bus back home.

 

 

These girls aren’t meeting a lot of new guys. They’re the cute innocent “good girls” who haven’t grown calloused (yet) from being pumped and dumped by multiple players. A lot of these girls are looking for boyfriends. These are the girls you want to meet through cold approaches.

[somedude81]

Great post OP.

 

Almost every college campus has more girls than guys. On a campus that's 60% female, 1/3 of girls are sleeping alone. Find that 1/3.

 

Lots of guys think every hot 20 year old is surrounded by a huge social circle of frat guys and athletes trying to holler at her. This might be true of the peroxide blonde party girl at a huge state school with a big hookup scene but it’s not true for every girl.

 

There are a lot of somewhat shy, lonely young college girls because they don’t go out much. They major in 80% chick programs like psychology and don’t meet a lot of new guys. Assuming you’re better than any of the single guys in her immediate social circle, these girls are easier to date.

 

Guys just need to choose their girls wisely. Don’t chase after the varsity athletes or the sorority sluts and social butterflies. For every attention-whoring peroxide blonde skanking it up at the clubs every weekend, there’s just as many girls spending their weekends working on their lab report or staying home watching Twilight. They don’t go out much because they’re sick of immature frat dudes and lame inexperienced dorks. They hop on the bus, go to their 80% chick lectures, study at the library, get involved in a club or play some intramural sport, and hop on the bus back home.

 

 

These girls aren’t meeting a lot of new guys. They’re the cute innocent “good girls” who haven’t grown calloused (yet) from being pumped and dumped by multiple players. A lot of these girls are looking for boyfriends. These are the girls you want to meet through cold approaches.

How do you actually meet these girls and know which ones they are?

[Cypress25]

That's because the average girl, can just about get any guy she wants.

 

You always say that, no matter how many people tell you that you're wrong. Believe it or not, most guys have standards and they prefer to date women they actually like. Even if a girl is average or above average in the looks department, not every guy is going to like her personality. And that's pretty important in a relationship.

 

It's simply not true that the average girl can get any guy she wants, and every woman on this site has told you that a million times. You keep refusing to believe it, because apparently you've never seen a girl get rejected. Although I have to say, I find that hard to believe. Surely you've known girls who have had their hearts broken in relationships? If not, then you must realize that your limited experience does not give you an accurate view of the world.

 

If the average girl could get any guy she wanted, there wouldn't be any women on this site. They would have no need for a site like this.

[somedude81]

. You keep refusing to believe it, because apparently you've never seen a girl get rejected

Exactly.

 

I've never known or seen a girl get rejected. Same thing for this forum. Girls aren't getting turned down, just the opposite actually.

 

Surely you've known girls who have had their hearts broken in relationships? If not, then you must realize that your limited experience does not give you an accurate view of the world.

 

If the average girl could get any guy she wanted, there wouldn't be any women on this site. They would have no need for a site like this.

Having a relationship go wrong or end is something completely different.

[fortyninethousand322]

You always say that, no matter how many people tell you that you're wrong. Believe it or not, most guys have standards and they prefer to date women they actually like. Even if a girl is average or above average in the looks department, not every guy is going to like her personality. And that's pretty important in a relationship.

 

It's simply not true that the average girl can get any guy she wants, and every woman on this site has told you that a million times. You keep refusing to believe it, because apparently you've never seen a girl get rejected. Although I have to say, I find that hard to believe. Surely you've known girls who have had their hearts broken in relationships? If not, then you must realize that your limited experience does not give you an accurate view of the world.

 

If the average girl could get any guy she wanted, there wouldn't be any women on this site. They would have no need for a site like this.

 

To some extent you're right, women can't get "any guy they want", but they can get a lot of pretty decent men a lot more easily than men can get decent women. Generally, of course, not every single woman.

[Cypress25]

I've never known or seen a girl get rejected.

 

Like I said, your world is pretty small. There are lots of things in the world that you've never seen. Women get rejected all the time. Just because you personally have never seen it doesn't mean it never happens.

 

Having a relationship go wrong or end is something completely different.

 

No it's not. If girls could get any guy they want, they would never get dumped for no reason. Losing the guy you want is the same as not being able to get the guy you want.

[somedude81]

Like I said, your world is pretty small. There are lots of things in the world that you've never seen. Women get rejected all the time. Just because you personally have never seen it doesn't mean it never happens.

I should have at least hear about it here right?

 

 

Losing the guy you want is the same as not being able to get the guy you want.

I completely disagree with you.

 

That's basically saying that getting dumped by a girl is the same thing as me never being able to get her.

 

Does that make any sense at all?

[Cypress25]

PJs to class?? I think I could never ever leave the house in the morning without brushing my teeth and putting on some proper clothes.

 

Haha well, I always brushed my teeth first. And by pj's, I mean sweatpants and a T-shirt, not a nightie. Technically they are clothes, just very comfy clothes that I like to lounge around in.

 

I should have at least hear about it here right?

 

Now you think this forum is representative of the rest of the world? You really need to get out more, hon. There are things that happen in the world that do not get discussed on this site. I really shouldn't have to tell you that. Besides, if you actually read every post on this forum, I'm sure you would come across several about women getting rejected. In fact, many women on this site have personally told you their own rejection stories. Usually you just dismiss them by saying the women are probably too picky.

 

That's basically saying that getting dumped by a girl is the same thing as me never being able to get her.

 

No it's not the exact same thing, but in both cases, you didn't get the girl you wanted. I'm sure most women would not be satisfied with being able to get any guy they wanted...but only for one night. If a woman can't get the relationship she wants with the guy she wants, then she can't get the guy she wants. And she will be just as frustrated as you are. Just look at all the women who cry about the guys who won't commit to them. You think they enjoy having guys who only want them for sex and not a real relationship? Those women are not getting what they want, trust me.

[somedude81]

Now you think this forum is representative of the rest of the world? You really need to get out more, hon. There are things that happen in the world that do not get discussed on this site. I really shouldn't have to tell you that. Besides, if you actually read every post on this forum, I'm sure you would come across several about women getting rejected. In fact, many women on this site have personally told you their own rejection stories. Usually you just dismiss them by saying the women are probably too picky.

Heh heh heh, I actually made a thread about that a while ago

 

 

No it's not the exact same thing, but in both cases, you didn't get the girl you wanted.

LOL, of course I did.

 

Unless you're telling me that the supposed sex we would have had wasn't real and it was all in my head. But it was just so good.

 

 

I'm sure most women would not be satisfied with being able to get any guy they wanted...but only for one night. If a woman can't get the relationship she wants with the guy she wants, then she can't get the guy she wants. And she will be just as frustrated as you are. Just look at all the women who cry about the guys who won't commit to them. You think they enjoy having guys who only want them for sex and not a real relationship? Those women are not getting what they want, trust me.

They can end it whenever they want to

 

OK, yes I know that women have some relationship issues. But that doesn't mean that they have it anywhere as close to as the average man does.

[Cypress25]

OK, yes I know that women have some relationship issues. But that doesn't mean that they have it anywhere as close to as the average man does.

 

Why does it always have to be that way with you? How come all of your posts eventually devolve into "women have it so much easier than men"? If that's all you have to say, then you might as well stop posting right now because you've said it a million times. It's not a competition between men and women to see who has the most dating difficulties. Everyone has dating issues, no one's life is easy. So what? If it makes you feel any better, you'll always have more rights than women, you'll always get paid more than women for the same job, and you'll always get more respect than women at car dealerships and pretty much everywhere else in the world. Really, being a man isn't that bad, is it?

[jobaba]

Exactly.

 

I've never known or seen a girl get rejected. Same thing for this forum. Girls aren't getting turned down, just the opposite actually.

 

 

Having a relationship go wrong or end is something completely different.

 

Haha well, I always brushed my teeth first. And by pj's, I mean sweatpants and a T-shirt, not a nightie. Technically they are clothes, just very comfy clothes that I like to lounge around in.

 

 

 

Now you think this forum is representative of the rest of the world? You really need to get out more, hon. There are things that happen in the world that do not get discussed on this site. I really shouldn't have to tell you that. Besides, if you actually read every post on this forum, I'm sure you would come across several about women getting rejected. In fact, many women on this site have personally told you their own rejection stories. Usually you just dismiss them by saying the women are probably too picky.

 

 

 

No it's not the exact same thing, but in both cases, you didn't get the girl you wanted. I'm sure most women would not be satisfied with being able to get any guy they wanted...but only for one night. If a woman can't get the relationship she wants with the guy she wants, then she can't get the guy she wants. And she will be just as frustrated as you are. Just look at all the women who cry about the guys who won't commit to them. You think they enjoy having guys who only want them for sex and not a real relationship? Those women are not getting what they want, trust me.

 

Women get rejected. It's just usually in a different way.

 

A female friend of mine liked this guy. We have a mutual friend who tried to hook it up and get them together in the same place. He wasn't into her and it didn't work out. But at no point was it revealed to the first female that he wasn't into her for sure. She might have guessed it though. That kind of 'rejection' I have been through more times than I could possibly count or even remember and rolls off my back like water off a leaf during the morning dew. That's pretty much the extent that most women will stick their neck out.

 

They don't go through the complete and total rejection of somebody you really like that really stings and burns your soul. They have to deal with being dumped but so do men too.

 

To be fair, a lot of men don't have to deal with it either.

 

Hey, it just sucks for some guys. What can you do?

Edited April 17, 2012 by jobaba

[somedude81]

Why does it always have to be that way with you? How come all of your posts eventually devolve into "women have it so much easier than men"? If that's all you have to say, then you might as well stop posting right now because you've said it a million times.

Because it's one of my core complaints with the dating world.

 

Things are not equal. The women who can't admit that just irk me.

 

So what? If it makes you feel any better, you'll always have more rights than women, you'll always get paid more than women for the same job, and you'll always get more respect than women at car dealerships and pretty much everywhere else in the world. Really, being a man isn't that bad, is it?

Maybe 10 years ago but women have just as much equality as men in those situation now. And I was sold a lemon.

[Cypress25]

Things are not equal. The women who can't admit that just irk me.

 

Nothing in this world is equal. Life isn't fair for anyone.

 

Maybe 10 years ago but women have just as much equality as men in those situation now.

 

You've got to be kidding me. You think gender inequality is a thing of the past? Women are still earning 77 cents to a man's dollar. At this very moment, state governments are passing laws that severely restrict women's access to basic health care. You're American, you know this. And you've obviously never been a woman in a car dealership, because there are no laws saying we have to be treated equally there. I've witnessed it myself. Once I went into a car dealership with my dad and they gave him a quote on a car. I went back to the same dealership with my mom and they gave her a very different quote on the same car. They see a woman and they think "Cha ching! She doesn't know anything about cars, we can take advantage of her."

 

Sorry hon, but we're a long way from gender equality. Women are discriminated against all the time. But I can't spend my whole life complaining about it because that won't do any good. I just have to do the best with what I have, just like everyone.

 

You just thank your lucky stars that you don't have to deal with periods. Talk about unfair. Sheesh, men don't know how good they have it.

[Els]

Oh, SD. I definitely know guys who turned down girls. You just don't see it much because for some reason, you lack the ability to perceive what goes on behind scenes. Girls don't just come out and hit on guys most of the time. In college, they tend to use very flirty signals or whispered confessions. So you don't SEE them getting turned down as much as you are, but trust me, it happens.

[Els]

Sorry hon, but we're a long way from gender equality. Women are discriminated against all the time. But I can't spend my whole life complaining about it because that won't do any good. I just have to do the best with what I have, just like everyone.

 

This seems to be a good and rational way of dealing with life. Nothing in life is ever equal, anyway. If I spent my time complaining about all the inequalities life has dealt me before, especially coming from a racist country as one of their minority, I would spend my entire day on LS.

[fortyninethousand322]

past? Women are still earning 77 cents to a man's dollar.

 

That's been debunked several times on this forum. You really shouldn't repeat it as if it's factual. But then again LS isn't always about facts.

[Pierre]

It's not about style. It's about attitude. Based on their careless approach to their appearance, it's pretty obvious, they don't have a lot of self esteem or experience with men. You can be intellectual and still dress neat.

 

They're just asking for a geeky nice guy to sweep them off their feet.

 

But my example was extreme. Let's be honest here. There's a decent number of women in college who are still unsure of themselves, modest and really underrate their own looks.

 

Enjoy that while it lasts, because it won't last long...

 

Your theory is backwards. Women that dress up a lot in college are the ones that have low self esteem.