Recurring Dreams of Ex Recently

[Ajax]

I haven't posted anything about the breakup that brought me here in months. It was a traumatic breakup for me, but it's been about a year and a half and I've moved on, healed, started living my life again, and otherwise not thought too much about her in the past few months.

 

But for the past week or so I've been dreaming about her again. While the details in each dream have been different, they've all had the same theme... being at a party (birthday, holiday, etc...) that my ex is also attending, and being completely ignored by her.

 

I've had the dreams about three times in the past week. The first time I brushed it off as just a dream about an ex, things we all have from time to time. The second time made me think about it a little more, and the third time was annoying.

 

Normally i don't put much weight in the "meaning" of dreams. But since this has happened to me more frequently over the last few days I thought I'd get it out here, since obviously I've got something knocking around in my head, even if it's on a subconscious level.

 

I think a couple things might be contributing to it. First of all, our "would be anniversary" is coming up in a few days. Another is that the dream basically happened the last time I saw her in October at my friend's wedding, she wouldn't acknowledge my existence.

 

I haven't actually talked to her since a couple weeks after our breakup a year and a half ago. I like to think I've moved on. While it took me a long time to get over, I no longer have any desire to talk to her or have her back in my life, so the fact that I'm dreaming of her ignoring me and being bothered by it now is confusing.

 

If anyone has any similar experiences or a nugget of insight I'd appreciate your take on it.

 

 

I also just noticed that this is my 1,000th post. Maybe that means something too

Edited April 16, 2012 by Ajax

[0hpenelope]

I've had those kinds of dreams before and I just do my best to shake them off. It sounds like your encounter at the friend's wedding and her subsequent lack of acknowledgment stuck with you and with your "anniversary" coming up, well... Seems like dreaming about her makes "sense."

 

Sorry to hear that, buddy. I dislike that, I've had that happen before and it feels like being rejected twice. No one likes to be ignored; even though we shouldn't care, being ignored hurts.

[J0N]

Hey, I am in the same boat as you. I have been getting further and further away from this place for a while. I have started 'seeing' somebody recently. It's neither serious or anything official. We met at a party, went out on some dates, etc. It feels good to be around somebody new who I get along with and who is a ton of fun. This was one that fell into my lap, and as I have said previously I am not seeking anything currently but I won't turn away somebody I like.

 

Whenever I even get the slightest hint that things might not work out (with new girl) I start thinking and dreaming about my ex. Especially the fact that due to the length of time we have been apart and out of touch that she has probably (who am I kidding, definately) started dating other people. This STILL bothers me. I don't know why, it has been a long time. I am pretty sure that we have been broken up longer or at least as long as we dated.

 

But my ex was my first true love and I am a sentimental guy, I will probably never forget her. I have at least managed to make peace with the whole ordeal for the most part. The first cut was really the deepest. I am yearning to get to a point of complete indifference, I am moving along. I have started unblocking people that were mutual friends (who she still hangs out with) because at this stage I feel it's a little psycho and I just don't care anymore. I would love to get to place where I can finally unblock my ex. Well see.

 

I think that the ultimate revenge to my ex would to become happy with somebody else. Frankly I don't care if I ever see my ex again, but there is still a part of me that misses her.

 

In other news I hung out with the girl I am seeing last night and it went well. Got dinner and some drinks, and there was a little make out session in the cab (i feel like an 8th grader writing this) I can tell she likes me, and I like her, I am going to take things slow.

 

Are you still with that girl your seeing?

 

Keep fighting the good fight man

[Ajax]

I've had those kinds of dreams before and I just do my best to shake them off. It sounds like your encounter at the friend's wedding and her subsequent lack of acknowledgment stuck with you and with your "anniversary" coming up, well... Seems like dreaming about her makes "sense."

 

 

 

After some mulling it over and soul searching, I think you're right.

 

As hard as NC was for me at the beginning of the breakup ordeal (and it was as hard for me as for anyone) I did implement it pretty quickly and effectively. In the past year and a half I haven't talked to her at all. And considering the pain and work I went through getting over it, right now I still have no inclination to break the silence or let her back into my life in any way... even if she wanted to.

 

That being said, If I'm honest with myself, I may not be as comfortable with the prospect of never talking to her again as I thought I was. And maybe the dreams helped me face that. Since I posted this, I haven;t had any.

 

Are you still with that girl your seeing?

 

Keep fighting the good fight man

 

Thanks JON. It sounds to me as if you're on the right track. If you feel like an 8th grader writing that then maybe it's a sign that you've got a chance at one of those innocent romances that are so elusive for us these days.

 

Yes I am still with my current girlfriend, but it's still rocky due to the same issues I posted about a few months ago. What can I say, I'm not a quitter. But I guess that's the subject of a different thread.

[xenomorph]

Then maybe posting about it here might help me out !

 

The dreams started a couple days ago, about 6 days into NC. One involved an ex of his and another was too vague to remember, but it's always the same: I wake up feeling miserable, angry, hurt, and always when the alarm to get up and get to work goes off.

 

buh.

 

What seems to help is doing some self-pep talk, rationalizing the situation into oblivion, and remembering the recent sincere good times i've had without him in my life. Or if i'm running late, something short and sweet like: "goddamit, you're awesome! quit wallowing around and get to work!" Proceeded by blasting some music.

 

I'm really looking forward to moving on and getting my head on straight, getting back to the badass bitch i once was, but these post-NC dreams are NOT helping.

[fucpcg]

A year since breakup, I still have dreams, sometimes with great frequency. I do get them around events, such as close to certain significant dates. It really makes things rough for a few days after I go thru them. I either have dreams about her and I getting back together, or I dream about seeing her sons.