Online Dating in the late 90s/early 2000s-Why was it so much easier back then vs.now?

[spinaroonie]

Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

 

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

 

So what's happened since 2010?!? Any theories?

 

I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who had up 40+ partners using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today.

 

I'm guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

 

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)? Would particularly be interested in the experiences of guys who've been online dating since the early days and how they're adapting.

[Mme. Chaucer]

You've been "running game" for OVER A DECADE??? Wow, that might be some kind of a record.

 

It sounds depressing. One would think you'd have moved on to other pursuits by now, or gotten into an actual relationship.

 

What's your goal? Just to date the highest quantity of college girls possible?

 

Probably in your case you've pretty much run through all the women who might be interested in whatever it is your are offering (what, exactly?), they've met men they're interested in having relationships with, or they've become accustomed to seeing your smiling face on the dating sites for the last 10 or 15 years.

[spinaroonie]

Different guys have different priorities at different stages in their lives. Who are you to judge? Can you stop with the personal attacks?

[firehawk_1]

because its so much easier to find people online but never really see it through. because there are far more superficial and stupid dumb women out there than there used to be. just time wasting, and ruining peoples lives... thinking you can "top up" by money to gain back x months or x years of finding someone.....

[Mme. Chaucer]

Different guys have different priorities at different stages in their lives. Who are you to judge? Can you stop with the personal attacks?

 

I am sincerely interested in what you are all about. Have you really been "running game" for over a decade? Online and on college campuses? What are you trying to accomplish? I'm not attacking, I am curious. I don't get it and I would like to.

 

Are there actually girls who will fall for this? Or do you just have to cast a wide net, so to speak, in order to enmesh the one or two who aren't savvy enough to just walk?

 

I also don't understand why you post the identical thread on multiple websites on the InternetSSSS. Can you explain?

 

Thanks!

[Mme. Chaucer]

I actually met my husband online 3 years ago. But I don't think that counts because there were no "games" being "run."

[spinaroonie]

Why do you care so much? Let's not derail the subject this thread.

 

I'm glad you found your husband online. But you're as old as my mom, so I'd hope you're beyond the game-playing stage by this point. Unfortunately, to attract young desirable girls in my age range there's an element of game-playing involved... because most young, desirable girls play games. And a part of me enjoys the thrill of the chase.

[firehawk_1]

well thats why time is wasted and you get older....game playing.... so stupid and childish as well as immature.

 

whatever floats your boat, but you are missing the whole point on relationships and being with the opposite sex

[ascendotum]

I have heard this from a number of people, though it is more a case of like your heading 'it was better in early 2000s compared to now' and not 'it was better pre 2010'. Maybe the early adopters of OLD were more genuine about finding a partner. Some of the older guys I know who are online players were never interested in PCs until say about 7-5 yrs ago. I know a 'trailer park' woman who owns a PC and does OLD now, as do a number of her grungy friends, and this demographic would have been quite rare 10 yrs ago online, but now every goober is online. Also maybe there is a nostelgic element to it, where the guys were younger + more handsome 10 yrs ago and the girls they went out with were happy go lucky adventerous 20 somethings, but now they are trying to get the same effect with more cynical fussier 30 somethings who are getting stacks of msgs (because more people are users now), many from hotter guys (not IT focused) who have flocked to OLD to expand their market that would not have been using it a decade ago. One of my neighbors is a big burly construction worker who does online dating now (hardly typical early adopter), who gets a lot of action from women in their 30s looking for tanned hunky tattooed guys and this sort of guy would not have been your competition 10 yrs ago.

[Feelsgoodman]

Different guys have different priorities at different stages in their lives. Who are you to judge? Can you stop with the personal attacks?

Asking this board's second most prolific troll to stop with the personal attacks is like asking McDonalds to stop peddling unhealthy food. Personal attacks are her bread and butter. In her view, any man who is not interested in settling down and marrying a dumpy feminist hag is an evil "PUA" trying to exploit women for their precious vaginas.

 

To answer your question, online dating was better in the early days because men and women treated it as, well, dating. Nowadays, many women (and especially younger ones) use online dating sites mostly for attention whoring purposes. Online dating sites have basically become a supplement to facebook.

[Mme. Chaucer]

 

I'm glad you found your husband online. But you're as old as my mom, so I'd hope you're beyond the game-playing stage by this point. Unfortunately, to attract young desirable girls in my age range there's an element of game-playing involved... because most young, desirable girls play games. And a part of me enjoys the thrill of the chase.

 

If you've been OLD since the '90's, you are no spring chicken yourself. Certainly not an antique like me, but still, way old enough to actually have a relationship rather than trying to "run game" on as many women as possible.

 

Sure, I like(d) some game playing - feminine wiles, flirting, etc. But the scripted "scenes" you describe over and over all over the InternetS sound so lame, and not even fun at all.

[Mme. Chaucer]

Asking this board's second most prolific troll to stop with the personal attacks is like asking McDonalds to stop peddling unhealthy food. Personal attacks are her bread and butter. In her view, any man who is not interested in settling down and marrying a dumpy feminist hag is an evil "PUA" trying to exploit women for their precious vaginas.

 

Hey! I'm not a troll! And I don't care one bit if anyone wants to get married or not, or to whom.

 

I also haven't made any personal attacks here, unlike you are when you call me a dumpy hag. I feelsobad, man!

 

Honestly, can you not understand why I would question a young(ish) man - a self identified PUA (not so labled by me) using scripts and doing what he describes as "running games" for almost 2 decades? I guess I can see the allure in trying it, but as a life's purpose?

 

Even you, if you could drop your acrid attitude for a moment, would probably see why that might be seen as sad and empty. So, I'm asking for an explanation, in the spirit of understanding.

 

I'm actually a kindly old dumpy feminist. With a heart of gold.

[Feelsgoodman]

Honestly, can you not understand why I would question a young(ish) man - a self identified PUA (not so labled by me) using scripts and doing what he describes as "running games" for almost 2 decades? I guess I can see the allure in trying it, but as a life's purpose?

Wait a second...you describe yourself as an "antique" (which I'm guessing means that you're over 60). Yet, you only met your husband three years ago. What were YOU doing over the past 4+ decades?

[FitChick]

Maybe the early adopters of OLD were more genuine about finding a partner... but now every goober is online.

 

This and the fact that there are hundreds of dating websites these days and online dating has lost its stigma so everybody is trying it now.

[Woggle]

Everything was better in the 90s.

[PhillyDude]

Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

 

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

 

So what's happened since 2010?!? Any theories?

 

I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who had up 40+ partners using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today.

 

I'm guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

 

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)? Would particularly be interested in the experiences of guys who've been online dating since the early days and how they're adapting.

 

What dating sites on the web was around in 1998/99?-lol I know back during that time "telephone dating" was hot back then

[Mme. Chaucer]

Wait a second...you describe yourself as an "antique" (which I'm guessing means that you're over 60). Yet, you only met your husband three years ago. What were YOU doing over the past 4+ decades?

 

Yep, I'm practically a dinosaur.

 

I've been having a very full life over the past 4+ decades. It's been full of a lot of love, ups, downs, adventures and learning. How about you?

[Feelsgoodman]

Yep, I'm practically a dinosaur.

 

I've been having a very full life over the past 4+ decades. It's been full of a lot of love, ups, downs, adventures and learning. How about you?

I ask because you mock the OP for being lame/pathetic due to the fact that he's been "running game" for two decades without settling down...yet, you yourself are starting your life anew at a rather advanced age...Personally, I find your situation even more sad than his. Of all people on this board, you are the last one who should be criticizing others for having a lame life.

[FitChick]

I ask because you mock the OP for being lame/pathetic due to the fact that he's been "running game" for two decades without settling down...yet, you yourself are starting your life anew at a rather advanced age...Personally, I find your situation even more sad than his.

 

There is a big difference between how many notches on a bedpost you can make and finding someone to marry. Quality vs quantity.

[Feelsgoodman]

There is a big difference between how many notches on a bedpost you can make and finding someone to marry. Quality vs quantity.

Many people nowadays (both male and female) are not interested in long-term relationships. You can't blame them either...we live in a society that promotes selfishness and narcissism. They are just the product of their times. Just like Mme Chaucer is the product of the 60's/70's feminist movement.

[thatone]

because its so much easier to find people online but never really see it through. because there are far more superficial and stupid dumb women out there than there used to be. just time wasting, and ruining peoples lives... thinking you can "top up" by money to gain back x months or x years of finding someone.....

 

Nah, there are the same amount. Difference is back then people had to be marginally intelligent to do anything online. Now they have laptops at wal mart.

[Radu]

Guys just getting into online dating missed the boat. The golden years were pre-2010.

 

I used to line pof dates up in my sleep. Now, the same perfected profile and techniques yield very little results and it just isn't worth the time commitment or aggravation anymore.

 

So what's happened since 2010?!? Any theories?

 

I have an average looking buddy in his mid 30s who had up 40+ partners using online game in the late 90s/early 2000s. He'd never pull those kind of stats today.

 

I'm guessing that Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan flick "You've Got Mail" from 1998 would never happen now.

 

So what caused the demise of online dating (at least for men)? Would particularly be interested in the experiences of guys who've been online dating since the early days and how they're adapting.

 

 

This might shock you ... you are aging, are the girls older too ?

 

PS: That movie was not about online dating.

[spinaroonie]

Many people nowadays (both male and female) are not interested in long-term relationships. You can't blame them either...we live in a society that promotes selfishness and narcissism. They are just the product of their times. Just like Mme Chaucer is the product of the 60's/70's feminist movement.

 

Checkmate. This woman sounds like a huge hypocrite.

 

And Mme. Chaucer needs to relax. I'm 26. Most girls in my dating pool (early-mid 20s) are still in college. I meet a lot of girls at my alma mater.

[zengirl]

I wasn't online in the 90s (for dating, I mean) because I was a kid/teenager but I was in the pre-2010 days. I can say OLD got progressively better as I got older and it became a more popular and mainstream way to meet people. I was meeting potentials online from 2004 (my last year of college) - 2011, fwiw. No games involved or being run, though. I was only looking for a LTR and I found several online and several elsewhere throughout the years, including hubby who I met last year online.

 

I suspect that if you run any game for over a decade, it will start to fail. People who do that sort of thing have a shelf life. Perhaps you're just past yours.

[Radu]

They do actually have a shelf-life.

 

Some of the PUA community make fun of the guys who copy Mystery's stuff and then get girls laughing at them.