Tweety Bird Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Hi, a boyfriend that I left in the past about 6 1/2 years ago got my number from my brother & he called me about 2 wks ago & said that he wants me back. He was a nice guy but I was young & silly at the time when I left him. He calls me regularly.The guy I left him for traumatised me in that I fell pregnant and he did not want to take up the responsibility. The baby died 3 months after birth from ill health. I moved abroad over 4,000 miles from home & has furthered myself educationally. I am currently in a good job. I however found out that I have a serious STI approx. 4 yrs ago. This ex-boyfriend really likes me & does not hide it from me. I am scared and don't know wht to do. He also stated that a girl got pregnat for him accidentally & he supports the child. please give me some advice
StartingAgain Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 And it sounds as if the both of you have some personal issues you need to work out. If you like one another, there's no reason why you can't be friends. But the distance is too great in my opinion. Unless the both of you make *a lot* of money and have a lot of flexibility in your work schedules you'll only be able to see one another once or maybe twice per year. You can't build a healthy relationship on that; it's impossible. Stay friends, but seek partners closer to where you live.
Author Tweety Bird Posted June 20, 2004 Author Posted June 20, 2004 I know that it is very far . But we get along really well & we understand each other. I just don't know what I was thinking leaving in the past. This guy is madly in love with me and is not afraid to show it. We have been keeping in touch via e-mail, phone, post & text. I am planning a long visit home in November which is a long way off but because we have not been in contact for a while & now we are I think & hope that things will work out. He has said that he is planning to come closer sometime next year. My actual worry is how & when do you think I should tell him about my ill health? I am leading a healthy life but I will need to protect him. I can now see that I have strong feelings for this guy.
Cupcake Posted June 20, 2004 Posted June 20, 2004 You really need to tell him about the health ASAP. If you two are already making plans for the future, then you need to be upfront about this. Otherwise, you are building a tower that will come crashing down, hard.
Author Tweety Bird Posted June 27, 2004 Author Posted June 27, 2004 Thanks for the suggestion, I think you are right in saying that I need to tell him sooner rather later. However I have spoken to a few professionals about this and they think I should wait and see how far the relationship goes before saying this to him. Which I think is also the best thing. If it goes as far as him moving closer, I will take him along to these people for their professional input. Things are going quite good, except for the fact that I don't have a number at present. But I keep in touch & he by e-mail. Hope things go well. I will let you all know whats happening!
Author Tweety Bird Posted November 10, 2004 Author Posted November 10, 2004 Hey, everyone just want to say that I will be travelling home tomorrow. I am extremely happy can't wait to see him once again. Things are still going well and even though I have missed being able to see him; it seems as if we live closer than what we actually do as we talk to each other almost everyday and share everything except for that one thing. I will continue to work on our relationship and wait to see what will come out of it before I dive into telling him. I love him and he loves me. Let's hope he loves me enough to continue to want to be with me.
Author Tweety Bird Posted August 2, 2005 Author Posted August 2, 2005 Hi there everyone, it has been a long time since I last made contact. I went back home in May for three weeks to spend time with my b/f. I just wanted to say that I eventually told my boyfriend about my condition he has been very supportive. He however seemed concerned about himself because we had two accidents with the condoms. He had checked himself before but is willing to have another one in October when I go to see him. I have been told by the health professionals involved in my care that it is highly unlikely it was transferred to him as my condition is well controlled and stable. The reason why I thought it was appropriate to share it with him is because our relationship was going really well and we were considering to tie the knot which would have also made it easier for him to migrate to where I am living. I love him very much and I know that the love he has for me is strong as he has remained there for me and we still talk a few times per day. At first though it did make things complicated but now everything seems to going well. Thanks again for all your suggestions.
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