silicis n volvo Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I was with my girlfriend for about 9/10 months. shes the first girl ive ever been in love with really and she filled a huge hole in my life. because of the strong feelings i had for her I was too needy and available in some ways. Although i wouldnt alway text or call her and i wouldnt ever get jealous if she spent more time with her friends than with me. I wouldnt say i was clingy. but i was deffinately the one chasing and giving her all the control. I was the one always doing the chasing...always initiating conversation through text during the day...always asking to see her and always saying sorry during arguments even if she was the one in the wrong. I would also refrain from voicing my opinions incase she didnt agree. I put a lot of effort into her. and always felt i didnt get the same back. once a friend of mine told me not to initiate a conversation and wait for her...so i did....and never heard from her for 2 days at which point i had to contact her. I broke up with her about a month ago because of all of this and how it made me feel. like the relationship wasnt mutual and i wasnt happy. i missed her and tried very very hard and we got back together...untill about 10 days ago when she finished with me. we've not spoken since in any way...and ive had a lot of time to think and run the relationship through my head over and over and over. I can see how i was needy and not a challenge to her. I was always available for her and not the strong alpha male powerful type girls like. The pain caused from this breakup is like nothing ive ever felt before and because of that pain its made me firmly decide to never be that way again with a girl. So id like to get my ex back...without coming across as needy or desperate...i dont want to just tell her ive changed i want her to give me the chance to show her. can anyone help me and give advice on getting her back? i know a lot of people are going to come and say "move on", "go no contact and heal yourself first", "why would you want her back anyway" but i do want her back and i dont think no contact is the way. it ended quite nasty and i think no contact is just leaving this negative feelings to fester and grow and for all i know she could be waiting for me to contact her. any advice?
TaraMaiden Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Yes. Please don't post asking for advice because it's patently obvious you have absolutely no intention of following g anything anyone advises you to do. you had 64 hits to your post. Chances are, a lot of those were from people who already went to great lengths to offer you their shoulder to lean on.... A lot of people invested time, effort care and concern, answering all your posts, explaining the situation regarding NC, the why and ther wherefore, the point and the healing; trying to help you make sense and see sense... Many people here have also been precisely - PRECISELY - where you are now - and know from painful personal experience that you are absolutely certainly definitely on a hiding to nothing. She Has Moved On. SHE HAS MOVED ON. she doesn't want to get back together with you, because all effort to think of doing that is purely from you, not her. She has given you every indication that this will not work, and she has dumped you. for a relationship to work, the dumper has to show they've changed their mind. what indication has she ever given you that she is open and willing to a second chance? You know what? Knock yourself out, do what you want. But make sure you DON'T come back and tell us how it went. We really, really hate saying "I told you so." Truly - we do.
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