s315399 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 To preface, while I was in high school I refused to believe that what 16 year olds experience could be called love. I believed that high schoolers were really just feeling attraction towards eachother but nothing deeper. I really think I was wrong. I met him when I was 15 and we started dating right after my 16th birthday. Unfortunately, my Dad's job caused us to move 1000s of miles away a few months later. We tried to keep it up long distance but circumstances got in the way and we broke up. I have never stopped thinking of him. I have been in 2 serious relationships since, but he is still the one that I dream about and find myself wondering about throughout my day. We talk about once a year and last night he admitted to still having feelings for me. He told me he made a pact with himself to come after me if I'm still not married by the time I'm 30. I'm dating someone right now so I kept myself from admitting all of the things that I desperately wanted to say. As fate would have it, we are now only a 4 hour drive from eachother and I want to see him so bad. My current boyfriend is a great guy but we're having a lot of trouble at the moment (I have a seperate post about that). I'm so confused right now, I've really tried making things work with my boyfriend but he refuses to talk to me at the moment and we're both too stuborn to understand the other persons point of view when we talk anyway. So, do I keep trying with my current boyfriend of 3 years, or risk everything and go after the man I've been dreaming of for the last 7 years?
jobaba Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 To preface, while I was in high school I refused to believe that what 16 year olds experience could be called love. I believed that high schoolers were really just feeling attraction towards eachother but nothing deeper. I really think I was wrong. I met him when I was 15 and we started dating right after my 16th birthday. Unfortunately, my Dad's job caused us to move 1000s of miles away a few months later. We tried to keep it up long distance but circumstances got in the way and we broke up. I have never stopped thinking of him. I have been in 2 serious relationships since, but he is still the one that I dream about and find myself wondering about throughout my day. We talk about once a year and last night he admitted to still having feelings for me. He told me he made a pact with himself to come after me if I'm still not married by the time I'm 30. I'm dating someone right now so I kept myself from admitting all of the things that I desperately wanted to say. As fate would have it, we are now only a 4 hour drive from eachother and I want to see him so bad. My current boyfriend is a great guy but we're having a lot of trouble at the moment (I have a seperate post about that). I'm so confused right now, I've really tried making things work with my boyfriend but he refuses to talk to me at the moment and we're both too stuborn to understand the other persons point of view when we talk anyway. So, do I keep trying with my current boyfriend of 3 years, or risk everything and go after the man I've been dreaming of for the last 7 years? You could... But you need to do the right thing and break up with your current boyfriend first. It's unfair to gamble with house money in the game of love.
Author s315399 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 No doubt about it I would break up with my boyfriend first, I've been feeling that coming for about a month now actually. I feel like I owe it to my boyfriend to give this all we've got, but I'm scared that now I won't try as hard as I should. I've always had these feelings for my ex, I just never knew he felt the same way.
Ninjainpajamas Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 If your feelings are so easily swayed by someone you dated 7 years ago to the point you'd consider leaving your current bf based on it, then you probably don't belong in the current relationship you're in anyway. However try to treat that past relationship as a separate entity...If you haven't been together in that long then you've both changed and grown up, you have different personalities than what you may remember and there will definitely be a different dynamic...so just expecting love to lead the way may be a naive perspective and oversimplifying the process of reacquainting process that will take place since you've both been out of each others lives...especially things that spill over from prior relationships that people tend to so often carry into new relationships. But yes, close one door before you open another or you may find yourself in a position in the future If this old relationship doesn't work out thinking that you may have done the same exact thing with this current love.
Author s315399 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 If your feelings are so easily swayed by someone you dated 7 years ago to the point you'd consider leaving your current bf based on it, then you probably don't belong in the current relationship you're in anyway. However try to treat that past relationship as a separate entity...If you haven't been together in that long then you've both changed and grown up, you have different personalities than what you may remember and there will definitely be a different dynamic...so just expecting love to lead the way may be a naive perspective and oversimplifying the process of reacquainting process that will take place since you've both been out of each others lives...especially things that spill over from prior relationships that people tend to so often carry into new relationships. But yes, close one door before you open another or you may find yourself in a position in the future If this old relationship doesn't work out thinking that you may have done the same exact thing with this current love. Thank you for that perspective. I know things would be completely different than they were, growing and changing was the main reason we broke up to begin with. I would never rush right into things, as it is I'm no true risk taker. I just really wish my boyfriend would call me so we can talk things out. I promised that I would leave him alone until he called me, apparently he wants more space from me than I thought.
Author s315399 Posted May 6, 2012 Author Posted May 6, 2012 I broke up with my boyfriend and feel wonderful about it. I don't know where things will go with my high school sweetheart but at the very least I'm out of an emotionally draining relationship
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