ridinbikes247 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 This is the 10th week of being separated from my wife. Together for 7 years. Almost 27 years old with a 4 year old boy. I left her because I got tired of the emotional abuse. Very disrespectful. The first month was going good but now I guess reality is setting in ? We signed papers a few weeks ago. Both yesterday and today I slept until lunch time !! I have NEVER slept past 8am . I went to bed at 8:30p.m all weekend !!! My body is acting like a zombie and I dont understand it. I miss WHO MY WIFE WAS ! I miss talking to her on the phone. I miss waking up as a family, and doing family activites. I keep trying to remember the bad things in her but it isnt helping me anymore ! I see her go out and not have a care in the world and it devestates me. I just needed to get this off my chest. I havent felt this low in a long time. My attitude is taking over these past few days also. It seems everything someone says will just annoy me and I want to be alone. I joined the gym, have bought a new car, and looking at apartments and it seems none of that is helping !!! I feel like the biggest cry baby ! Here I am crying over the woman I LEFT, and she clearly could careless about our marriage
Philosoraptor Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 It's painful and not easy at all. You did what you needed to do in order to take care of yourself. While this will heal and get better, it's obvious that your wife was not going to change her ways. Just keep at it and take care of yourself. Learn a new craft, find a new hobby; just do whatever is necessary to help ridinbikes247 feel good about himself.
Reddice Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Well Mr. Bike Rider... Let me share with you a short story. Though I have not been married, I spent the last 3 years of my life with the same woman. We officially lived together for over a year and a half, though before that she was 5 out 7 days at my place since almost the first day. I just turned 28, and have to witness as well how she is moving along just fine in live and is already shacking up with the dude she most likely cheated with. This really hit me like a brick and for the first weeks I was a complete and utter wreck. As many of you might have experienced, I had the immense urge to speak to everybody about the situation, wether they wanted to hear it or not. However, I noticed that the more I spoke about it, the more people were willing to share their own stories with me! Some of these stories were even more heartbreaking than mine was. The thing is... Some of these people told me that they spend a year, year and a half or even more years getting over their ex. This really struck a chord with me. I was going through hell, unable to function properly and losing a lot of weight. The thought of spending a year or more in agony was so overwhelming that I decided to take a stand. I would not, will not and shall not spend that long getting over my ex! That's where I decided that everything I did, saw, read, heard and even thought, would serve a purpose: Getting over my ex a.s.a.p.! So I spent hours surfing on the internet, reading on tips how to get over your ex, reading material on how to increase your confidence, reading material on how to pick up girls, listening to self-help material and just generally trying to drown myself in positive activities. You would be surprised to find out how much of your time actually goes wasted on watching tv/gaming/etc once you seriously start to work on yourself on an emotional level. I read book after book (I read "The Game" in a week or so), started analyzing where and what went wrong to learn from it, listened to motivational speakers and even "cremated" our relationship after writing her a goodbye letter, taking this to a park which I used to visit a lot with her and set it on fire there. Sure, it was a rocky road, but with each step I took (and still take) I complimented myself. I also forgave myself for the mistakes I made in the past, as I think this is very important to be able to move forward. I still have a way to go and am unsure how long it will be, but I am doing a lot better now and trully think it will not take long before I'm fully over her. At this point, I'm not even mad at her. I learned that anger and love are the same thing. In fact, the opposite to love is indifference. This is where I'm moving towards. I gues what I'm trying to say is... Some people are looking for a mental switch to turn the a heartbreak "off". For me, in hindsight, this was the realisation that I had no intention of crying for months over some chick who was definately not crying over me. It was the conscious decision to move forward and do everything in my power to get over it, and get over it fast! I don't think I would be where I am now if I hadn't consciously taken the decision to move forward. In my opinion, you can do a lot to try and forget about someone, but the mental barrier is the largest, most difficult hurdle to take and should therefor always be the first. If you don't take the conscious decision to overcome this, you will be stuck in this mindset for a long while... Have you already taken this decision?
Author ridinbikes247 Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Hardest thing for me. She basically chose to be single with ther divorced friends. 2 of her diveroces friends went back with there husbands the first week of april. Her last divorced friend found a boyfriend on april 12th. So now, my wife is friendless.....why has she not called to make small talk ? or try to get me back ? she has no one but her family right now..... My only guess is maybe her divocrced friends found her somebody ? or she is feeling really guilty right now and dont want to call me because it will look obvious that she only calls when she has no friends
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