Can you really expect them to come straight out and say "I want you back"?

[LasVegasGuy]

If you can't face the fact that you might be rejected, you aren't ready for her or any relationship at this point.

 

Until you can overcome this "fear" by going out and getting rejected, you wont ever be ready. You will live your life in fear, not taking chances, not moving forward but standing in one spot hoping things come to you

 

I 100% agree with is, as me myself I have never done good with rejection, which is why everysingle girl I have ever dated has always been the one to ask me out, never have I been the aggressor. I am having a hard time dating now because women barely come to me and now I have to go to them, and I have no history of being this confident.

[LasVegasGuy]

So you are telling me to confront her, but just make sure I don't get my hopes up?

 

Im telling u from years of personal experience..enter at your own risk...but do know that the odds are not in your favor. But then again anything can happen, as I have seen so many times.

[MIK1000]

If you can't face the fact that you might be rejected, you aren't ready for her or any relationship at this point.

 

Until you can overcome this "fear" by going out and getting rejected, you wont ever be ready. You will live your life in fear, not taking chances, not moving forward but standing in one spot hoping things come to you

 

How does it mean that I'm not ready for her or any other relationship?

 

 

I don't know if you'll remember, I made a thread on here on christmas eve because my ex had come into the pub that I work in (as is traditional with folk in our area on xmas eve) and had been hanging about the bar all night, and had been caught staring at me several times by my friend) Anyway, It you that told me upon hearing this that I should mail her and ask to meet up. I did and she straight up rejected me and i went back to NC. Note that at this time she was still with the guy.

 

Now I was down about this for a few weeks, mainly because I felt like i no longer had my pride that I had from when NC was upheld. And I'm not blaming you at all for the advice you gave me then I guess I just don't want to lose my pride again when at the moment I can at least feel like I'm some what in the drivers seat with her being the one messaging me. And Also I suppose because she could up the tempo on me at any moment and be the one to message me.

 

So the risk I'm afraid of is - be up front and ask her for a date or something and risk being rejected, plus lose the attraction she might have for me at the moment because i'm not making myself too available to her.

 

Or keep playing the waiting game, which has been effective obviously as she has been the one messaging me. If I sit tight she might grow more and more impatient, or even after she returns for the summer she might be more attracted to me as I'm this more mature man who has travelled the world, something that i didn't consider doing when i was with her, it was purely her with this ambition. The risk here is that she may get involved with someone else for the long term or even lose interest.

 

However, do ex's like this ever totally lose interest? Especially when it ended the way it did, with everything being in good form, but the distance caused by her going away for the summer causing her to lose interest. Will there always be a sense of "unfinished business" over the next few years?

[LasVegasGuy]

How does it mean that I'm not ready for her or any other relationship?

 

 

I don't know if you'll remember, I made a thread on here on christmas eve because my ex had come into the pub that I work in (as is traditional with folk in our area on xmas eve) and had been hanging about the bar all night, and had been caught staring at me several times by my friend) Anyway, It you that told me upon hearing this that I should mail her and ask to meet up. I did and she straight up rejected me and i went back to NC. Note that at this time she was still with the guy.

 

Now I was down about this for a few weeks, mainly because I felt like i no longer had my pride that I had from when NC was upheld. And I'm not blaming you at all for the advice you gave me then I guess I just don't want to lose my pride again when at the moment I can at least feel like I'm some what in the drivers seat with her being the one messaging me. And Also I suppose because she could up the tempo on me at any moment and be the one to message me.

 

So the risk I'm afraid of is - be up front and ask her for a date or something and risk being rejected, plus lose the attraction she might have for me at the moment because i'm not making myself too available to her.

 

Or keep playing the waiting game, which has been effective obviously as she has been the one messaging me. If I sit tight she might grow more and more impatient, or even after she returns for the summer she might be more attracted to me as I'm this more mature man who has travelled the world, something that i didn't consider doing when i was with her, it was purely her with this ambition. The risk here is that she may get involved with someone else for the long term or even lose interest.

 

However, do ex's like this ever totally lose interest? Especially when it ended the way it did, with everything being in good form, but the distance caused by her going away for the summer causing her to lose interest. Will there always be a sense of "unfinished business" over the next few years?

 

See that's the thing about NC, it's not really meant to get your ex back, sure it might better the chances you a guy or girl sitting around begging, pleading with there ex.

 

Nc is meant to stop torturing yourself and to allow your self to heal, and if it just happens to bring your ex back, at-lest you will be in a good mindset to choose rather you want them back or not.

 

NC could just make the ex completely move on and forget about you (out of sight and out of mind) but that's the chance you take because obviously nothing else has worked.

[MIK1000]

See that's the thing about NC, it's not really meant to get your ex back, sure it might better the chances you a guy or girl sitting around begging, pleading with there ex.

 

Nc is meant to stop torturing yourself and to allow your self to heal, and if it just happens to bring your ex back, at-lest you will be in a good mindset to choose rather you want them back or not.

 

NC could just make the ex completely move on and forget about you (out of sight and out of mind) but that's the chance you take because obviously nothing else has worked.

 

Yeah I used nc to heal, and it worked some what. When she initially contacted me I thought i didn't want her back but as days went by I realised that was crazy because I remembered how good the relationship was and how it could possibly blossom into something even better, especially with how much I've matured since we were last together.

 

I suppose the NC has actually been LC, because while I never contacted her, I replied to seem civil whenever she messaged me or whatever.

[beyond]

If you can't face the fact that you might be rejected, you aren't ready for her or any relationship at this point.

 

Until you can overcome this "fear" by going out and getting rejected, you wont ever be ready. You will live your life in fear, not taking chances, not moving forward but standing in one spot hoping things come to you

 

Wilson, sorry to gate- crash, but you have no idea how much thodse words help me.