badavoom Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I really need your advice on what should I do or should I just give up because I realised I have done alot of wrong things. My situation now is, Since last year July, she developed feelings with a guy but we patched up after much persuasion. But things did not go well, she got close to another guy in September and we are constantly quarreling and she mentioned more than once that she has no more feelings for me. we broke up again in November last year and patched up when I sort of begged her to patch up, but she no longer feel close to me and from November til this year February, we no longer have any intimation at all, she rejected my advances in intimation. And shortly before Valentine's day, she wanted the final breakup. She told me that She has thought for very long already and is confirmed that she wants a breakup, and she will never ever like me again. And during this 1 month of breakup, I did terrorist text messaging, keep calling her. And when I found out that she got attached to another guy so fast, I got so furious that I scolded her on the phone and even confronted her face to face. I even tried to persuade her to not start a new relationship that guy so soon. But she told me that she is not going to change her decision. We have been together for 3 years and I really love her. I do not know how can I win her back, that now I have done so many wrong things and she is attached happily with another guy. I have been trying to stay positive and become a better person. She once told me that she will never like me again, but is it really true? I am guilty to say that when we were together, I did not cherish her to the fullest and neglected her feelings sometimes, my temper were not very good also. I know that I have to become a better person and it is going to take some time, but should I wait or give up after I have become a better person? thanks in advance for all the advice.
ryan131131 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 i just went though a break up myself two and a half weeeks ago did anything i could she isent seeing anyone ( my ex ) but honeslty from the hell i have been though i know im giving advice when i should be taking it but move on never know what could happen down the road but if she has moved on that fast it just may not be worth it work on you keep your head up and youll one day find the right one for you
Philosoraptor Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Why would you want someone back who treated you so poorly? I know the answer and faced it myself, but you need to look at this logically and do what is best for you. Right now you would be best by not only allowing her what she wants, but taking yourself away from her. Do not become her emotional blanket or a "friend" until you have no feelings for her outside of friendship... as this will only hurt you more. Take care of yourself for now as you are your priority now. 1
Author badavoom Posted April 16, 2012 Author Posted April 16, 2012 I really regret not cherishing her enough and having my temper on her for the 1st 2 years. I know that what happened has happened, I cannot turn back the time and I am determined to change myself to be a better person. I just really hope that I will have the chance to truly cherish her again when I have become a better person. But I do not know how to go about doing it. Please advise.
Philosoraptor Posted April 16, 2012 Posted April 16, 2012 Just concentrate on yourself. She made a decision and you can not change her mind. Right now just stay away, make no contact, and take care of yourself. If she comes back you can reevaluate then, but for now she has cut the cord and you need to find a way to accept that.
Author badavoom Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 I understand that I need to concentrate on myself. But I actually wish to ask, what are the little things I can do to make her feel the change in me since we seldom contact each other now, and make her wants to come back?
leoc1973 Posted April 17, 2012 Posted April 17, 2012 By temper what do you mean? did you hit her? Or mentally abuse her? I have dated a couple girls that had been abused in previous relationships. The ones that seemed to have self esteem looked at their ex's with nothing but disgust and there was one that had no self esteem at all and she actually went back to him. If this girl has tried to connect to other guys over and over again then I think she was looking for someone to "save" her from you. The only thing I would suggest is to maybe see some kind of counselor to work on your anger. Maybe down the line she will see that you have grown and come back or you can just do it for yourself and the next woman you are with so this doesn't happen to you again.
Author badavoom Posted April 17, 2012 Author Posted April 17, 2012 Hi Leoc, By temper meaning I tend to raise my voice and scold her..I have never hit her before..yupp I will do something to my anger management. She do have self esteem I supposed, so does that means she will be unlikely to come back no matter what I do?
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