loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Would you let your gf work at a Sex Toy Store? I got offered a job at one (not a dream job I know) but I am in school full-time trying to raise 3 kids after my divorce. I already have a job, but need a second. My bf has a huge problem with me working there. He said "you wouldnt want me going to a strip club". Which is true, but different. There is no "live" nudity where I would be working. So I feel like if I take this job, the he will "retaliate" and go to the strip club:( What should I do?
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I wouldn't be comfortable with it, but overall i would be OK with it. I find the strip club metaphor a bit farfetched. Tbh, i could see even how i would bug my GF if he worked in such a place on what their inventory is and for new ideeas in the bed (but i'm a bit of a freak).
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Thats what I told him- I get a discount;) He said he is not interested. I love the stuff! He does not.
ascendotum Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Have you asked your bf, exactly what specific aspect of you working in a sex toy store is would become a problem? It would not worry me if my gf was a cashier/shelf stocker in a sex toy store. Its a real stretch comparing it to going to a strip club, gawking at live nude women and then coming home with less $ to contibute to the household budget as well.
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 If he still has a problem with it you are faced with split loyalties ... Either go there and potentially lose bf, or don't go there and potentially hurt your 3 kids. You know best what you have to do in this situation. PS: To what darkmoon said, if you go to an online sex shop you will see that most of that stuff is for women, not for men ... vibrators, 'neck massagers', dildo's, strapons, aphrodisiacs, gels, special condoms, etc. Hell, even L'Histoire d'O was written by a woman. OP ... don't give this guy a copy of any of Nancy Friday's books or you will shortcircuit his brain.
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 This shop has equal stuff for men and woman. Anyways, yes I did ask him, he said he is "concerned" for my safety. I will be the only one working, and you get alot of creeps in there.
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 You get a lot of creeps at any store. I suspect they do provide you with a panic button to call the police and cameras for surveillance. You might also check to see if it's a very bad part of town.
ascendotum Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 This shop has equal stuff for men and woman. Anyways, yes I did ask him, he said he is "concerned" for my safety. I will be the only one working, and you get alot of creeps in there. Yeah there will be some creepy guys, but that's up to you if you want to engage in any sort of conversation with them, when you scan the product and take the $ from them. Its not like you are going to be walking into the change room with them to give your opinion on the leather gear they are trying on. There will be a phone on the counter and cctv through out the store, and I don't hear of these stores being notorious for assults in my city.
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 yes they do have cameras and all that, just like any other store. So I am not really sure what his "real" deal is. He is pretty controlling, so it may just be another way of him trying to get his way. And using the strip club as a way to get me to not do it.
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 From the few times I have been in a "toy store" it has always been with a girlfriend or chick I'm seeing, I wouldn't imagine the traffic flow would be a lot of solo males. I think he's being kinda insecure about you working there and the strip club comparison is way out there to even compare.. You're basically selling products and there's no nudity or sexual conduct going on but since the products are sexually oriented he's concerned? LAME.... OR maybe he's scared you're going to replace him with one of those fancy vibrating thinga majiggers haha
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 HAAA! I keep bringing it up;) he says no need:(
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Usually those places are hangouts for pervs and deviants - especially if there are "movie rooms" in the back where they can keep feeding their quarters or dollars into the slot to keep the movie rolling while they do God knows what behind that curtain. Would it be your job to clean those disgusting areas after the Parade of the Damned has been through these rooms all night? I'd rather chew glass. Have you ever been into a toy store ? It's not a movie store with movie rooms, they sell products like any other store only it's sex related. Hell in this day and age with free sites like porn hub why the heck would you pay to watch a movie hahahhaa seriously...
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Ditto, you don't even need to pay ... you literally get bombarded with free sex movies everywhere you browse on the interwebs (spam folder anyone ?). I've been to some of these places when they opened up here, i was about 15 at the time and it's just a store with a lot of products and some tapes.
Radu Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Funny you should mention it, but i think most Apple Store's are more insidious (as is the whole damned corporation) than an adult store.
january2011 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 He is pretty controlling, so it may just be another way of him trying to get his way. And using the strip club as a way to get me to not do it. Or he could be genuinely concerned for your safety, knowing that you'll be on your own and that the shop is frequented by some less than savoury characters. Either way, the tit-for-tat oneupmanship is probably not helping your relationship. If you didn't need the extra income, would you choose to work there? If no, then I think that deep down you are actually closer to agreement than you think and he is not being unreasonable. I understand that desperate times sometimes call for desperate measures, but I don't think it's worth sacrificing your principles, relationship and safety for that bit of extra cash.
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 yea thats all this is- dvds- toys, clothes ect...you see worse on the internet.
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I agree January- I just dont want him to think he is controlling me anymore than he already does.
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 No, I pulled all that out of the air. Of course I've been to one, admittedly it was probably 15 years ago. But to this DAY, all the windows are blocked by paper (or some kind of window coverings). And not every perv has access to a computer where they can watch porn - maybe the wifey won't let him or he lives in his mother's basement and can't watch porn up in the main parlor where the computer sits. And lastly, I often read the "Missed Connections" on Craigslist, and I see QUITE A FEW messages from gay men who were sizing each other up at the Adult Novelty Store. I think anyone who thinks these places DON'T condone seedy behavior is pretty naive. You can paint the picture that most of these places are as innocent looking as your local Apple Store, but that don't make it so. I'm not painting a picture, I'm going off of what I've seen personally from more than one store and they never had covered windows or anything shady looking about them whatsoever.. Hell one was in a popular strip mall next to a food place and a tattoo shop. I'm sure there are some questionable stores out there but there are stores that literally sell merchandise and I assume that's what the poster is talking about and the time's I've been to those shops I either see couples or 2 female friends browsing around. I don't look on craigslist for missed connections with gay men posting so I have no comment there..
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I agree January- I just dont want him to think he is controlling me anymore than he already does. If you admitted that he's the controlling type then maybe the toy store isn't even the real issue.. If he's that type of person there is a lot more to worry about than him disagreeing with you working a toy store.
Author loveinglife Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 True- at first he was like- good luck, let me know how it goes ect... then I got it, and he asked about the people that work there, if it was safe ect...he said "wow you took it that fast? I wanted to talk to you about it first"
mixwell Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 True- at first he was like- good luck, let me know how it goes ect... then I got it, and he asked about the people that work there, if it was safe ect...he said "wow you took it that fast? I wanted to talk to you about it first" Seriously if it's like the stores I've encountered it's just a fking retail store bottom line.. All of the stores I've been into always have female workers also and to me it's the same ish as going into any other store.. Your boy sounds like he's insecure, it's not like you're working at a toy store giving out BJ's for money or anything.. seriously. 1
Art_Critic Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Tell him he needs to think of the benefits.... Employee pricing
soserious1 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 You are not married, you are seeking to support your three children? Aside from asking about when you're going to have time to see him (a valid concern if you have 3 kids & 2 jobs) then where you work is really not his business IMHO, he's overstepping his boundaries.
FitChick Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 This thread reminds me of the one and only time I went into a sex shop several years ago with my then fiance. It was the Ann Summers shop in Brighton (England). I noticed that the place was very tasteful and not sleazy and that most of the customers were couples. It was funny to see the guys all sheepish and embarrassed while the women were very casual and open in picking up the goods to examine them, "Oh, look, Harry, it's the vibrator from Sex And The City!"
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