sid3 Posted June 25, 2004 Posted June 25, 2004 I'd say you have your head on straight, focused,and firmly planted in reality and are going to find happiness just around the corner. Your keeping your dignity, letting her know how you honestly feel, and that's all you can do. May not be tomorrow or next week, but soon you will be glad it turned out like this cause your gonna be feeling good about yourself,for trying and caring until the end and then some. Can tell from your post, your going to be doing great in no time, in fact it sounds like your already there..
Blah Toolz Posted June 25, 2004 Posted June 25, 2004 That was very touching... very bittersweet, Estakado. You handled yourself very well. I have to give you props, man... if I saw my ex right now... I don't know if I'd be able to pull it off like you did. I just don't think I could handle it... knowing that the love she once felt for me is gone, or diminished... or she is trying to tell herself that she doesn't. Don't know if I could do it without getting all emotional, so I'm happy for you, man. Don't buy into that crap about her being so happy with this new guy. She met him so soon after you guys broke it off... this guy's just a rebound. She says "Oh I'm so happy, I think we're going to get married." This is just a sham... she's trying to convince herself this, IMO. They're still in the honeymoon phase, and I bet they haven't even gotten into an argument yet. When they do... I'm pretty sure they'll be split. It is good that you had this one last encounter, though. I think you can look at it like this: You and she were one chapter of your life, and now it's time to move on to another. Although it might sound bad, you might be able to accomplish things for yourself, and to better yourself, that you never would have been able to do with her around. You're gonna make it bro... it's good that you had the one last encounter, once again. Now, she is no longer an impediment to you moving on... you've had your closure. If she wants you out of her life, then it's her loss. Get it on!
mr_miner Posted June 25, 2004 Posted June 25, 2004 estakado - Blah_Toolz, that was a really nice post you put up for estakado. I've watched the two of you support each other through your own difficult ordeals, so I just wanted to mention first off my respect for both of you the way you've handled yourselves and helped each other out. You've been really good friends to each other. Estakado... I'm really sorry to hear about what happened with you. Man, it sounds so rough. But at least now you can move away from wondering if you two are going to get back together and toward accepting that it's over and moving on. The longer the uncertainty over that issue persists, the more it will it destroy you. Almost the same thing happened to me. Two weeks after I broke up with the ex I am trying to get over now (we were only together for 6 mos but it was intense), I contacted her because I wanted her back. She told me she didn't want me back and told me not to call her. I went into the same weird zone that you described. We hugged one last time and it killed me to know it was the last time. It felt like we'd broken up a second time. But no more than a few hours later I summoned my strength and starting moving on. I realized that all these little things I used to think about (is she gonna call, are we getting back together, does she miss me, etc) we all rendered completely irrelevant. They didn't matter anymore. So gradually I was just able to think less and less about her and more about me and how I was getting over her. From your previous posts, you sound like you have a great foundation of strength inside you to do the same. Like you said man, now all the clutter is gone, all those issues are gone now and your "mission is clearer now" as you said. Let a few days of hell pass by, and you might be surprised at just how quickly you can bounce back from this. And then feed off of that strength. My advice, don't be friends with her. All that will do is eat away at your heart. If you hang out with her, you'll just miss her and want her more. It's best to just cut everything off and move on. I wish you all the strength in the world, man. I hope you can get by. Just remember people are here for you if you need them.
Author estakado Posted June 25, 2004 Author Posted June 25, 2004 Thanks guys and you know what the cool thing about it is that you'll get there. There where you dont have to worry about them anymore...I am almost there. And I promise to help any of you guys on this thread that needs some praise. Sid3: I just wanna say that I am glad and happy to read better posts from you and I am soo happy for you that you are looking for peace now and living for yourself. 1 day at a time bro! BT: Man, I wished that I took a photo of her, man she looked sooo good today, but I know the scheme now and her rubbing all this trash in my face just aint gonna cut it no more. On your end see if you can try to get some answers, tell her how you feel and then if she is still on some "I dont love you no more crap" then its time to cut her from your team. You are better than her, and she is a fool for not realising what she is missing out on. Sid & BT & mr Miner: True colors are really coming though on this girl and I am soo sad/mad that I'm laughing at the fact that this is it, all of the times that I was there for her, all the tears I cried/dried, all the times I took care of her when she was sick.....and it dont matter! <---this is what I am focusing on now when I think of her leaving. The key to getting there is just to let everything out, No Contact and just let everything out. Its just funny man, seriously she wants me to be her FRIEND throughout this whole situation, like she wanted my blessing on her decision to leave me. Screw that! Ya'll wanted to read a post about gettin to move on, welp this is it. I used to be kinda scared about being alone, but now I'm gonna try and embrace it and just do it. I got hole in me now, and I got a scar I can talk about... Its like women wonder why guys are jerks, and I kinda wondered why some dudes do kinda act like jerks or unfeeling and now I know.....they've been screwed over for being honest, caring and hard working. Its true though, every day does get a little better. But it only gets better after you've faced the pain full on. I needed this today soo much, I wanted to answers and now I found out that I dont have to blame myself for this. I cant believe that in 8 years someone can just turn it off, its all good though because I feel my swagger coming back, its a small echo of what it used to be but I expect to work on it. And I've been leaning on friends everytime and it works, instead of calling her, I call a friend or turn some music up and workout & websurf. Running, jogging and getting to know your neighborhood is great. I'm gonna start believing in myself again. Yeah worst summer of my life!
dreamguy Posted June 25, 2004 Posted June 25, 2004 Estekado, one of the most (if not the most) touching post I have ever read ! Damn I have so many things to say that I barely know where to start !! Blah Toolz, Don't buy into that crap about her being so happy with this new guy. She met him so soon after you guys broke it off... this guy's just a rebound. She says "Oh I'm so happy, I think we're going to get married." This is just a sham... she's trying to convince herself this, IMO. They're still in the honeymoon phase, and I bet they haven't even gotten into an argument yet. When they do... I'm pretty sure they'll be split. Listen to this guy because he's absolutely right ! When my ex-gf dumped me and I went to her house she said this: "I'm relaxed now because the problems involved in the relationship are gone but I'm not happy ! Then she said I'm not even sure if I'll do it but I think I'll get married to that other guy I'm dating." Yes Blah Toolz is right !! She is trying to convince herself because she knows this is what is takes to control her feelings. Estekado, To hell with her, her feelings and to remaining friends with her. YOU'RE THE MAN ! YOU CAN AND WILL CONTROL YOUR DESTINY AND THE PATH OF YOUR HAPPINESS ! She doesn't know what she lost in you. She lost a mature, sensitive and most of all AUTHENTIC human being. I'd say the next woman who's gonna step into your life is gonna be damn lucky !! Sid3, again I'm happy to see you're pulling it through. Stay with us. Estekado, She thinks that she's seen all that I have to give and provide and she is soo wrong! Loved this line bro ! Do you know why ? Because she ain't seen sh** ! She overlooked all your qualities that's why it's her loss ! someone that is soo scared to be alone that she took the first wolf at her door. One word about that: She's a coward who cannot face his feelings. You're brave and you stood up for yourself. Bravery is never an easy path to follow but you always come out as the winner. Of all the time she spent here at our house, she just mentioned the other guy and how great he is and all of the plans that they made, and this is all of within 2 months of them dating. She says that they have plans to marry. Cheapest behavior on the face of this planet. No self respect and certainly no integrity !! It hurts but you're better off without her. You still have time to change the course of your life and I know you will. So, as you said in your post, pick yourself up and do it !! Most importantly keep on posting because "its not just all you now" as you said ! There are people on this forum who know what it means to suffer yet to be strong. These people genuinely care because they want nothing in return for their compassion but to see you happy once again !
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