jerk magnet Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Five months ago I caught my boyfriend of eight years cheating on me with a girl from his work. I broke up with him on the spot, which was tough, because for me he was the one. Since then I have been following the no contact rule. It has been extremely difficult, but I feel it is a matter of self respect, if you know what I mean. And, except for running into him at my favorite lunch place a couple of months ago, he has not contacted me. Its still hard for me, but I have to admit it's getting a little easier every day. No contact has saved my sanity. I never thought I could live without him, you know. Well anyway, I have been on a couple of dates since, and the guys are all nice, but no sparks. I have another date tomorrow, and I am scared I will never feel excited about another guy. Am I only attracted to jerks? Is something wrong with me?
aJoy Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Ouch.. Jerk Magnet??? I TOTALLY understand! With me it gets to a point where I'm left with two choices, stop dating altogether or keep dating jerks because it seems to be that the only guys I'm attracted to turn out to be complete and total a**holes... A friend once told me that she used to feel the same way but that as she got older her tastes changed and though it was a tough lesson to learn the many jerks showed her what she DIDNT want and that helped her in knowing what she did want out of a relationship and a partner. She found a guy who treated her right eventually and settled down and got married.. I hope she's right is about all I can say.
aJoy Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Also, even though I am currently in the process of mending my own broken/severed/burned/beaten/bruised/ruined heart I do believe that you will feel attracted to someone again, maybe a few someones in your life time.. but, it takes time. When I was about 15/16 I was in a relationship with a guy who I SWORE (what the hell did I know at 15?) was IT for me and it honestly took a few years even though I was dating people for me to really "want" anyone else again even when I didn't even want him anymore... trust me, you will be excited about someone again. the question is WHEN?? (that's what I wanna know...) but no one can answer that, it just takes time.
clia Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 Well anyway, I have been on a couple of dates since, and the guys are all nice, but no sparks. I have another date tomorrow, and I am scared I will never feel excited about another guy. Am I only attracted to jerks? Is something wrong with me? Do you know how many dates it could take until you meet Mr. Right? It could take 100! I know people who dated like maniacs until they found the right person. Don't think you are a jerk magnet until you've been on many more than two dates...if I had a dime for every guy I went out with who I had no sparks with I'd be a millionaire!
Girlie Posted June 18, 2004 Posted June 18, 2004 No worries. I think there are plenty of us who went through plenty of frogs before we got to the prince, you know. I've been through PLENTY of jerks, myself. It doesn't mean you're a jerk magnet. Happens to the best of us. Just hang in there and be patient and try to make sure you're open to dating a wide variety of different personalities. Variety is the spice of life...is that how the old saying goes? =)
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