Woggle Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 If she actually likes men or not. I notice the women who tend to have the most successful relationships tend to actually like men and don't assume we are a bunch of disloyal, cheating dogs and actually try to understand what really makes us tick. Women who tend to have long lasting and happy relationships are ones who truly get us and don't hate us because of it. It just shows when a woman is genuinely interested in seeing that side of men that we rarely show in public because many times it will be taken as a weakness. At the same time there is nothing more unattractive than a woman with an anti-male attitude. There is a poster here who said that she gave up the bitterness and gets so many more dates as a result. Most men don't want to be in a relationship where they feel they are constantly apologizing for being with a penis. 2
Feelsgoodman Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 That certainly explains why all the aging, bitter feminists on this board are either never married or divorced.
carhill Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Nah, breasts, but nice try I'm outlier but for me number one is intimacy. Maintaining intimacy over a long relationship or marriage can be problematical, which is probably part of why I have some issues with such relationships. I think the relationships where intimacy comes from attraction probably do better if the sexual chemistry is synergistic. I couldn't imagine being attracted to a woman who exhibits marked signs of disliking men, simply because we could never develop any intimacy, so I guess there is some traction there. 1
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 This is a chicken and egg situation. I certainly don't hate men, but over the years have become increasingly bitter towards them in a dating sense because of how I have been treated BY men. The abuse came first... the bitterness came later. It's highly possibly, probably even likely, that the women who "enjoy" men, do so because they've never been burned in that particular way... their luck is such that they haven't run into a man who has destroyed her down to her core. Show me a woman who has been abused, neglected, and assaulted at the hands of men, who still has a positive attitude towards them, AND who is more successful than a similar woman with a "bitter" (or, possibly, self-protective coming across as bitter) attitude in dating, and then your theory might have credence. It's easy to like people who are always nice to you.
thatone Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Show me a woman who has been abused, neglected, and assaulted at the hands of men, who still has a positive attitude towards them, AND who is more successful than a similar woman with a "bitter" (or, possibly, self-protective coming across as bitter) attitude in dating, and then your theory might have credence. It's easy to like people who are always nice to you. well my gf is one. her former husband got hooked on drugs and wound up riding his downward spiral all the way to prison after they split up. but she's got a few years of therapy and being single under her belt, she didn't apply the common method of hopping from douchebag to jackass to alcoholic and back to douchebag to keep her attention fix. 1
Feelsgoodman Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 This is a chicken and egg situation. I certainly don't hate men, but over the years have become increasingly bitter towards them in a dating sense because of how I have been treated BY men. The abuse came first... the bitterness came later. How exactly were you "abused" by men?
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 How exactly were you "abused" by men? I think dating me out of desperation, constantly degrading my looks, cheating on me (happened at least once), dumping me for not being pretty enough, and then blaming ME for the relationship failing falls somewhere into "emotional abuse," wouldn't you say?
thatone Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I think dating me out of desperation, constantly degrading my looks, cheating on me (happened at least once), dumping me for not being pretty enough, and then blaming ME for the relationship failing falls somewhere into "emotional abuse," wouldn't you say? if a man claimed to be 'abused' by women because he got blame projected at him from women every other man on this planet would tell him 'get used to it'. 2
threebyfate Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Woggle, you've got to shake the "men are victims" thing. Without the dislodging of this belief, the next step to recovery will elude. 1
thatone Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I was told to man up and that I never was treated bad. And that it was my own fault. and whoever told you that was right, they told me the same thing in my younger years. as for the rest of her list, sounds like a woman divorcing her husband to go f*ck a guy she met at a bar, and blaming the husband for it. happens all the time. welcome to earth, verhrzn, we're all stuck on the same rock.
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I have been abused, neglected, and assaulted by women and I don't blame the entire sex for the actions of a few jerks. I will admit I have a hard time trusting but my mind is too skewed for a relationship with a woman now. But I know, I never would harm another female/male. And if I can find a female that won't turn abusive, then I will gladly enter another relationship. I don't blame an entire sex for a few jerks. I've already said that I don't hate men. But the other ways I see men act, and the way those behaviors have been reinforced by this board, has solidified my bitterness (read: not the same as hate) towards them in terms of dating. Even this thread is kind of an example. Apparently, the most attractive thing a woman can do (on top of being a financially independent woman who also wants to be a stay-at-home-mom, makes all of the first moves, and is physically perfect) is let men treat her however they please, and yet still have a cheery disposition and be trusting. If I started a thread about how the most attractive thing about a man is his lack of bitterness, a lot of male posters would be up in arms about my lack of sympathy towards the situations that CAUSED the bitterness in guys. And yet, women are apparently just supposed to take it and shut up about it.
Author Woggle Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Woggle, you've got to shake the "men are victims" thing. Without the dislodging of this belief, the next step to recovery will elude. I am not saying it is all one sided and it works the other way. Wouldn't it make sense to say that men who actually like women tend to have better relationships? If so then why would the reverse not apply as well?
threebyfate Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I am not saying it is all one sided and it works the other way. Wouldn't it make sense to say that men who actually like women tend to have better relationships? If so then why would the reverse not apply as well?Would you say your marriage is based on the foundation of liking women? Logic model does not compute. 1
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I do believe that you don't hate the entire sex but you do distrust them because of a few. And no, I would not expect a woman to always be jubilant. No one is like that always and if you were with someone who thought that. You should pass because he is viewing women as a fantasy that is not factual based on reality. I don't think the whole "men only want women who are financially independent but also want to be a stay at home mom, who always makes the first move, and is physically perfect" is a "few" guys. Honestly, guys on this board have just proven what the "jerks" showed me... that guys care about looks first, second and third, and that if you are flawed in any way, they will always dump you for someone better. This board has done far more for my bitterness than dating has.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I think dating me out of desperation, constantly degrading my looks, cheating on me (happened at least once), dumping me for not being pretty enough, and then blaming ME for the relationship failing falls somewhere into "emotional abuse," wouldn't you say? No, I wouldn't. You are being overly dramatic and trying to paint typical dating unpleasantries as abuse.
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 No, I wouldn't. You are being overly dramatic and trying to paint typical dating unpleasantries as abuse. Yes, because the only abuse that counts is physical. He can call me every derogatory name, spread rumors about me, and whittle my self-esteem down to nothing, and it doesn't matter, right? If a guy came onto a board with my exact same complaints, and asked if he'd been emotionally abused, I'm 99% sure you'd be the first in line to say "Yeah that b*tch!" So why is mine any different?
Author Woggle Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Would you say your marriage is based on the foundation of liking women? Logic model does not compute. At least I see my issues and I am attempting to fix them. Some misandrists wear it like a badge of honor.
threebyfate Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 At least I see my issues and I am attempting to fix them. Some misandrists wear it like a badge of honor.There aren't misandrists hiding behind the majority of relationships.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Yes, because the only abuse that counts is physical. He can call me every derogatory name, spread rumors about me, and whittle my self-esteem down to nothing, and it doesn't matter, right? If a guy came onto a board with my exact same complaints, and asked if he'd been emotionally abused, I'm 99% sure you'd be the first in line to say "Yeah that b*tch!" So why is mine any different? As another poster said, women subject men to so much blaming, shaming, manipulating and other mental BS that just about every man who has ever dated a woman can claim to be "mentally abused". I've read your other threads and your problem is a very simple and typical one. You are trying to punch above your weight. I have no doubt that there are many overweight American guys who would be genuinely interested in dating you, yet you are not attracted to them, despite the fact that you are overweight yourself. If you want to play outside your league, don't complain when you finish last.
Badsingularity Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 If she actually likes men or not. I notice the women who tend to have the most successful relationships tend to actually like men and don't assume we are a bunch of disloyal, cheating dogs and actually try to understand what really makes us tick. Women who tend to have long lasting and happy relationships are ones who truly get us and don't hate us because of it. I've noticed the same thing. At the same time there is nothing more unattractive than a woman with an anti-male attitude. I agree.
RachR Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Why does it have to be a gender specific thing? This can apply to both women and men. 1
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 At least I see my issues and I am attempting to fix them. Some misandrists wear it like a badge of honor. So what if they do? Why do you care? Why do they effect you? You aren't trying to date them; are you trying to save them? Is lecturing them about their issues... instead of, say, emphasizing and pointing out that you yourself are a reforming member of opposite-gender-hate... really going to help?? For example, you probably label me as a misandrist because of my bitterness towards guys in dating. So now here I am in your thread. Do you think it's really going to make me feel better to be told that the reason I'm single is because I'm such a hate-filled outcast? That if I want a guy, I better "shape up" and quick! How does that help?? What is the purpose of this thread?
RedRobin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Most men don't want to be in a relationship where they feel they are constantly apologizing for being with a penis. As long as your penis isn't used as an excuse to justify bad behavior, you should have no problems.
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I've read your other threads and your problem is a very simple and typical one. You are trying to punch above your weight. I have no doubt that there are many overweight American guys who would be genuinely interested in dating you, yet you are not attracted to them, despite the fact that you are overweight yourself. If you want to play outside your league, don't complain when you finish last. I love how no matter how many times I tell you, you're wrong, you still don't believe me. Would it help if I said I've shown examples of my exes to other MALE posters on this board who confirmed I'm NOT punching above my weight? Guys, even overweight ones, do not message me. They do not approach me, they are not interested. In fact, they're far too obsessed with women above THEIR league to notice I exist. It's funny how the exact same thing you accuse me of doing is what I am actually suffering from. But it's far easier to stick with your "American women are disgusting fat cows who are also privileged spoiled princesses" than to try to understand.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 If she actually likes men or not. I notice the women who tend to have the most successful relationships tend to actually like men and don't assume we are a bunch of disloyal, cheating dogs and actually try to understand what really makes us tick. Women who tend to have long lasting and happy relationships are ones who truly get us and don't hate us because of it. It just shows when a woman is genuinely interested in seeing that side of men that we rarely show in public because many times it will be taken as a weakness. At the same time there is nothing more unattractive than a woman with an anti-male attitude. There is a poster here who said that she gave up the bitterness and gets so many more dates as a result. Most men don't want to be in a relationship where they feel they are constantly apologizing for being with a penis. I like men in general...Just not the ones who hurt me;) I like the men who are not disloyal, cheating dogs;) Nice, genuine, good guys are awesome:)
Recommended Posts