xxSRMxx Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I did it.... stupid idiotic me broke NC After a bottle of wine i decided to show up at his (cringe) we sat and spoke, had sex this morning and then i tried to reconcile. What the hell is wrong with me?? He told me the same rubbish, concentrate on myself, be patient, we cant get back together, might feel different in the future, blah blah blah... I need to rid myself of him before I end up losing the plot... im never drinking again.
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 ...why do you keep putting yourself in situations that prevent you from trying the teensiest bit to heal? And shame on him for taking advantage when you are most vulnerable. When will you realize that this is toxic what you are doing to yourself? You are so much better than all this hoo haa and now have to start healing all over again. He is such a snake...Shaking my head.... 1
TaraMaiden Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Goddammit, another one,.. first budley12, now you.... Ladies, fer krissakes, stay away from the booze!! 4
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 SO ANGRY with myself, definately shame on him for sleeping with me. Still, I think it was more me def coming onto him (cringe) I woke up at his flat today and felt like nothing had ever happened, then reality hit and i realised I'm not ever going to get him back. He keeps telling me to be happy which just winds me up!! he seems to be getting along so effortlessly while i mope around. I KNOW im not helping myself, i know i shouldnt have had a drink either. I have THE worst stomach pains in the world. I just bought ''I can mend your broken heart'' by Paul Mckenna, Ive read half of it and it hasnt changed a dam thing....
BewitchedandBothered Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 SO ANGRY with myself, definately shame on him for sleeping with me. Still, I think it was more me def coming onto him (cringe) I woke up at his flat today and felt like nothing had ever happened, then reality hit and i realised I'm not ever going to get him back. He keeps telling me to be happy which just winds me up!! he seems to be getting along so effortlessly while i mope around. I KNOW im not helping myself, i know i shouldnt have had a drink either. I have THE worst stomach pains in the world. I just bought ''I can mend your broken heart'' by Paul Mckenna, Ive read half of it and it hasnt changed a dam thing.... Your ex's man card just declined. He should have resisted knowing you were hurting and there was no way of reconciling. What a douche. Sorry, but I gotta say what needs to be said. Drinking.....now do you see what it does? Hurts your body, mind and spirit; the stuff is poison when misused. You have to take baby steps to heal; reading half a book when your mind is elsewhere won't do a diddly do darn right now. Please know your self worth. That ex sure doesn't.
robaday Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I just had this argument with my ex gf - she broke up with me and we slept together. Then when I reminded her we were broken up a week later, she said I took advantage of her?!!!?
Author xxSRMxx Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Definately big mistake sleeping with him, just wanted to feel close to him again but instead its put me 3 steps back. Im going to concentrate on this book, and try and pick myself up out this hell
budley12 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I feel your pain. i was the one to break nc after three months and now im hoping he will make the next move. Then again my ex is still in the new relationship so i shouldn't be too hopeful. I think having hope is the worse part of this and by me retriggering a connection it creates new false hopes. The bad dreams came back... now stalking his facebook to see if he is deleting our pictures. Why are us dumpees so stubborn and staying caught in this cycle of breaking nc and not moving on
TaraMaiden Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 (edited) because there is a bizarre kind of joy in the pain. the pain makes us feel validated, and as if it counts for something. It makes us believe there is a wound unjustly inflicted and in need of healing. We go back time and time again, because we believe that feeling it is a reinforcement of our love, a confirmation that this was a great love, and the loss is a fire in our belly. But actually, all it is, is our persistence in exposing ourselves to pain. It's volitional, it's deliberate and it's debilitating, crippling, self-destructive and masochistic. It's misguided, it's obsessive and It's wrong, but we persist. because if we don't it's confirmation of the end. And we believe it's much better to cling to a false hope, than to admit to a true fact. Here, let me hand you this brand new cat o' nine tails..... Edited April 15, 2012 by TaraMaiden 2
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