firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Hi all. im at the end of my tether with this internet dating thing. too many unrealistic and very shallow women. ive been on many sites over the years, wasted ALOT of money only to be rejected and never get a fair chance and literally 4 dates in 6 years. so really it does feel like them stealing money, taking advantage and the return being.... nothing but insults. anyway, can anyone give me some decent (unsuperficial ideally) websites to find relationships? ive tried the following: match eharmony sugardaddie (despite the name of the site.... still shows how many shallow and unreal people are on there!) okcupid datingdirect lovestruck zoosk Thanks all.
carhill Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 If you've been consistently working potentials on the sites you listed, I'd suggest taking a breather for awhile. During that time, the sites will attract new potentials, along with you recharging your dating batteries. Maybe focus more on in-person meetings and encounters as able. Although meetup is generally considered an interest-driven, more platonic site, anything can happen. 1
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Thanks Carhill This is the problem though: Ive ALWAYS taken a break. and even though I get rejected, its still "a break" and a setback. i always do take a break but im not getting any younger nor am I getting any opportunities at all as everytime I go back, its just worse out there.
M2155 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 May not help in the nonsuperficial department but POF.com is at least free And you can hide your profile from the masses.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Thank you yes ive tried that too. its worse. I even paid for a membership so I can send emails and make an effort without their restrictions.... but that always ends in rejection
carhill Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Thanks Carhill This is the problem though: Ive ALWAYS taken a break. and even though I get rejected, its still "a break" and a setback. i always do take a break but im not getting any younger nor am I getting any opportunities at all as everytime I go back, its just worse out there. I understand. I went through this many years ago. To solve my dilemma, I started dating internationally and traveling. Best choice I ever made, from a personal growth standpoint. While it might not be appropriate for you, it underscores the concept of trying something different, even if what you tried before was different.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Carhill - I value your responses Believe me, I WANT to date internationally (I prefer non british women) but they always make an excuse: distance but its not about distance. and who said they should come over? I would do whatever it takes.... they always make some excuse. Even starting more closer to home (I.e Europe) im happy to do so but... no one is interested or they just always say "distance". but they dont seem to be open minded and exploring things, if that makes sense. they limit themselves
carhill Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I did most of my dating back before cell and sat phones and when the internet was young (think Yahoo being new), so international dating was a big unknown. Nowadays, if I corresponded with a lady from another country/continent and we got on well, I'd just block out a week of free time, book a flight and go visit her. If things didn't work out, I'd just wander around and meet people locally and have a good time. I've wandered the streets of most of the continents and there's always something interesting to see or do. People everywhere. The journey is the gift. To be honest, I can't recall any lady ever, if genuinely interested, meaning repetitive proactive contact, back then via landline or e-mail or (dating myself) ICQ, claiming distance as an issue. They were specifically looking to meet men internationally and posted such in their ads.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 (edited) I understand and know what you mean I wish todays world was what it was back then. so much better. but sadly, im stuck in this awful place. maybe I should "sell" myself here right now? i may not be "hot, sexy, gorgeous" but I have a great personality, heart and mindset as well as intelligent, and successful. educated and have a PHD. we cant all have what we want.... but I have a solid interior...that lasts unlike the exterior! Edited April 14, 2012 by firehawk_1
phineas Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Match.com resulted in two actual meetups after 3 months. And they contacted me. I must of literally sent out 50 emails & not a single response. I cancelled my subscription. LOL!
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 yup..... but thats nothing compared to what ive been through. lol. AND the money I spent.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Get a good avatar and be frisky here. Ya never know.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 lol. I wish if I show myself, the whole internet would crash.
thatone Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 you're making me lose faith in western higher education if you have a PhD and took 6 years to find out that internet dating is a waste of time, and i figured it out in 6 months.
NXS Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I'm with Carhill on this one, it's coming into the summer so forget about the OLD, pack your bags and off to more traditional countries. Assuming you have the time/money of course.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 you're making me lose faith in western higher education if you have a PhD and took 6 years to find out that internet dating is a waste of time, and i figured it out in 6 months. it took me around 6 months also.... give or take.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I'm with Carhill on this one, it's coming into the summer so forget about the OLD, pack your bags and off to more traditional countries. Assuming you have the time/money of course. i wish sadly not. rather use the internet to establish something then go there. wish i were in the same position as carhill regarding this but im not. still though, the point is.... women just really put me down so much with the crap, the games... you name it. then they wonder and act innocently "oh, cant find the guy..." *sigh* just wish the 90s were back. caring, old fashioned, considerate and would go all out and all the way for the partner. now... nothing. if you are suffering or are low down, they will kick you down and leave you and off to the next guy *sigh*
thatone Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 i wish sadly not. rather use the internet to establish something then go there. wish i were in the same position as carhill regarding this but im not. still though, the point is.... women just really put me down so much with the crap, the games... you name it. then they wonder and act innocently "oh, cant find the guy..." *sigh* just wish the 90s were back. caring, old fashioned, considerate and would go all out and all the way for the partner. now... nothing. if you are suffering or are low down, they will kick you down and leave you and off to the next guy *sigh* i must admit i was optimistic when the internet came out that it would be what we were promised...free exchange of information for all leading to an enlightened society. but it isn't. we should've known that you can't make people grow up by giving them tools that they can't operate. give 10 monkeys pencils and 9 of them will try to stab each other. 1
RedRobin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 just wish the 90s were back. caring, old fashioned, considerate and would go all out and all the way for the partner. There is another thread asking if YOU are the person that the person you are seeking... is seeking. do you have these qualities? If not, then it should be no surprise that the person who does is not seeking you.
fucpcg Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Don't know if ur UK or USA, but if the latter, here is where I loiter: Do something, Learn something, Share something, Change something - Meetup Sportsvite | Manage Sports Teams Online — Adult Leagues, and Recreational Activities Any local outdoors club near where you live. You will meet guys, you will meet married women, but you will also meet plenty of single women, all meeting you because of common interests outside of being single.
fucpcg Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Oh and Fitness Dates, Fitness Dating at Fitness Singles
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 There is another thread asking if YOU are the person that the person you are seeking... is seeking. do you have these qualities? If not, then it should be no surprise that the person who does is not seeking you. I think that is a stupid thing really. why would you want to date yourself? Thats just far up yourself.... and people should know no such thing exists, but of course women dont get that and no, there would not be anyone like me. there never is anyone like anyone in this world. there maybe a little in common. women say they want someone kind, caring, genuine. here I am yet they dont want it. its all about looks and nothing else goes through their mind. fact. God knows I've paid my dues. I work hard all the time. I truly deserve someone. why am I not entitled to be with someone? who says I shouldnt? women who make up stupid unwritten "rules"? no... thats not the way. what a bad world we live in where there is no sensitivity or common sense and reality.
RedRobin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I think that is a stupid thing really. why would you want to date yourself? Thats just far up yourself.... and people should know no such thing exists, but of course women dont get that and no, there would not be anyone like me. there never is anyone like anyone in this world. there maybe a little in common. women say they want someone kind, caring, genuine. here I am yet they dont want it. its all about looks and nothing else goes through their mind. fact. God knows I've paid my dues. I work hard all the time. I truly deserve someone. why am I not entitled to be with someone? who says I shouldnt? women who make up stupid unwritten "rules"? no... thats not the way. what a bad world we live in where there is no sensitivity or common sense and reality. I'm sorry you are frustrated. The other posters suggestions are good ones. Get into some activity groups and meet people.
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 cant do that either. why? all about looks....
Author firehawk_1 Posted April 22, 2012 Author Posted April 22, 2012 so once again to prove my point, signed up to another website today. did the usual, profile and pics. made some effort and emailed a couple of people. one of them replied saying "too young and im too tall for you, dont like to lean down" its like what the hell? looks shouldnt matter nor should attributes. im not young! im getting older and I dont mind an older woman.... but if women like that are saying things like they are too tall then who do they expect to find? if she wants to look at it in the sexual manner then ok... love long legs.... whats the problem? it just sickens me and puts me low down even more with less confidence. then they say they cant find someone decent.... *sigh* i dont know why I waste time, and money. i really dont
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