Star Gazer Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 your off by 100%, but gals don't care if they are off by 100%. but this is how gals argue, they say they are 100% right with no facts. i work with lots of guys and they ones who haven't stuck their d*ck in lots of gals are usually the most trustworthy. where's your evidence or do you have none? 1 data point of evidence is from a GIGS poster himself, who in this very thread posted, and I quote, "Yes, indeed... :(" Guys who are susceptible to GIGS aren't trustworthy. I can't imagine why you'd ever think they were.
Star Gazer Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 its too bad gals stink at picking out gigs guys. most could throw darts and do better. Not all women have a difficult time picking them out. I, for one, can identify them quite easily. But it did take a time or two of being burned for me to figure them out...
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 She's absolutely, 100% right about this. About what, guys who once were virgins are untrustworthy? Every man you have ever dated has been with women you wouldn't approve of, and would consider beneath you, whether they volunteer it unwisely like OP's BF or keep their mouths shut prudently. This thread is the exact reason smart men never tell women anything of substance. Open up, guys, and the cross and nails come right out over the most superficial BS, and there's no way to win. If this guy were a playboy, you'd all be telling her to dump the bad ole playa. Honesty... man>>>woman... ill advised. Of course no one wants to talk about OP knowing full well what she was getting into based on their prior friendship before getting further involved, is now judging him for "sins" told candidly to a "friend" in confidence that should have either been forgiven or not long ago. He was good enough to be friends with, good enough to grow the relationship into something more, good enough to treat her well and kindly, yet not good enough now because past GFs don't "measure up" to what a super-studly perfect Mr. Big BF would have had? 1
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 About what, guys who once were virgins are untrustworthy? Every man you have ever dated has been with women you wouldn't approve of, and would consider beneath you, whether they volunteer it unwisely like OP's BF or keep their mouths shut prudently. This thread is the exact reason smart men never tell women anything of substance. Open up, guys, and the cross and nails come right out over the most superficial BS, and there's no way to win. If this guy were a playboy, you'd all be telling her to dump the bad ole playa. Honesty... man>>>woman... ill advised. Of course no one wants to talk about OP knowing full well what she was getting into based on their prior friendship before getting further involved, is now judging him for "sins" told candidly to a "friend" in confidence that should have either been forgiven or not long ago. He was good enough to be friends with, good enough to grow the relationship into something more, good enough to treat her well and kindly, yet not good enough now because past GFs don't "measure up" to what a super-studly perfect Mr. Big BF would have had? I kinda agree with this post. I advocate that men are not dishonest but.........tactful in what they divulge in terms of private info to a woman.
Feelsgoodman Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 OP, look at the bright side. If he didn't have "low standards", maybe he wouldn't be dating you in the first place!
Ruby Slippers Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I agree that these are riskiest guys to be with -- even worse than bad boys, because at least bad boys are honest with themselves and women (at least, they have been with me). In my early 20s, I dated this great guy who had self-esteem issues (for no reason I could see, other than the after-effects of being raised by his crazy mom). For the first few years of our relationship, he told me he never thought he'd get a girl like me, I was so beautiful, wonderful, blah blah. A few years into the relationship, he'd spiffed up his image and confidence a lot, with my help and support. Then he left me, saying he wanted someone more attractive. (A few months later, he came back crying, telling me was F'ed up and had made a huge mistake - but the damage was done). I don't know what I would do in your situation - I'm just saying that the ladies in the thread have a point.
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Agree on the tactful. Tactful as in nail your mouth shut with tacks But no, not suggesting blatant dishonesty, just not volunteering things unduly.
spookie Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 To clarfiy, we're not talking about experience as it relates to trustworthiness. We're talking about a lack of standards. The two are probably correlated, but it's possible to have a lot of experience and still be one of those guys who will date anything that pays them attention, and vice-versa. I don't know what GIGS stands for, but I suspect it has something to do with the standard-less man's need for attention, his tendency to jump ship the minute someone hotter looks his way.
mesmerized Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 About what, guys who once were virgins are untrustworthy? Every man you have ever dated has been with women you wouldn't approve of, and would consider beneath you, whether they volunteer it unwisely like OP's BF or keep their mouths shut prudently. This thread is the exact reason smart men never tell women anything of substance. Open up, guys, and the cross and nails come right out over the most superficial BS, and there's no way to win. If this guy were a playboy, you'd all be telling her to dump the bad ole playa. Honesty... man>>>woman... ill advised. Of course no one wants to talk about OP knowing full well what she was getting into based on their prior friendship before getting further involved, is now judging him for "sins" told candidly to a "friend" in confidence that should have either been forgiven or not long ago. He was good enough to be friends with, good enough to grow the relationship into something more, good enough to treat her well and kindly, yet not good enough now because past GFs don't "measure up" to what a super-studly perfect Mr. Big BF would have had? That's not the point of what she said. When a person is desperate and dates anyone, they're not with you because they are actually into you, attracted to you and chose you and thus they are more likely to leave you if someone better comes along. In my experience though, a desperate guy can be trustworthy too, it depends on the person. Desperation however will always be a turn off for almost all men and women.
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Agree on the tactful. Tactful as in nail your mouth shut with tacks But no, not suggesting blatant dishonesty, just not volunteering things unduly. This is always the danger with remaining a virgin until later years. People will actually use it to make assumptions about you or vilify you somehow, although this guy didn't do himself any favors admittedly. It used to get to me, I really did consider the whole escort thing and to this day my brothers are STILL offering the solution even though I always tell them no. I don't think a lot of people really understand to be honest, which is why threads like these will always garner the responses that they have.
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 A few years into the relationship, he'd spiffed up his image and confidence a lot, with my help and support. Well at least you got a few years as opposed to months, that qualifies as blockbuster success today. Sure "Don't You Want Me?" scenarios are a professional hazard of dating. "You were working as a waitress in a cocktail bar, when I first met you." I can't count how many women have used me as a stepping stone to hunt big multimillionaire game, but planning ahead for that, or taking her past men as a gauge of her future stone stepping? way too baggage. Dots too indistinct to connect, especially in a desperate virgin's case. OP some men are late bloomers, up to you if that's a deal-breaker.
veggirl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Umm....is prune juice making anyone else really hate the word gals after reading this thread? Sorry, off topic...but....thesaurus or something PJ....I can't read the word "gals" anymore!!! suggestions to use occasionally in place of gal: girl woman female lady 2
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 That's not the point of what she said. When a person is desperate and dates anyone, they're not with you because they are actually into you, attracted to you and chose you and thus they are more likely to leave you if someone better comes along. Well aware of the angle she's looking at this from, am trying to suggest more healthy angles though.
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 To clarfiy, we're not talking about experience as it relates to trustworthiness. We're talking about a lack of standards. The two are probably correlated, but it's possible to have a lot of experience and still be one of those guys who will date anything that pays them attention, and vice-versa. I don't know what GIGS stands for, but I suspect it has something to do with the standard-less man's need for attention, his tendency to jump ship the minute someone hotter looks his way. The question is why those two are correlated. I realise I'm playing devil's advocate today, but I'm curious.....
dasein Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Umm....is prune juice making anyone else really hate the word gals after reading this thread? You just need to thicken up your skin there, missy, and galvanize yourself. <<runs away to other thread to avoid tomatoes. 1
mesmerized Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Umm....is prune juice making anyone else really hate the word gals after reading this thread? Sorry, off topic...but....thesaurus or something PJ....I can't read the word "gals" anymore!!! suggestions to use occasionally in place of gal: girl woman female lady I was actually going to say this. It's very annoying.
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 desperation is parmarily a turn off for gals. Desperation is never a good look on anyone. Guys will feel it if they don't at least try and curb that desperation. I am in the same position as many late male virgins but I can honestly say that apart from the odd super-horny day, I have never been desperate for a woman as to lower my standards. 1
veggirl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 i'll call them what i damn well please. i could call them a lot worse given how often they lie Your first reply was better. It was pretty funny, not cranky like this one. OP I would never be able to feel secure with a guy I knew would bang or date anyone who gave him the time of day (basically)
Author Flummox Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 This thread has disintegrated into a war between men and women. What does "GIGS" refer to? Also, why have presumably virgin men come out of the woodwork to initiate personal attacks? I make more money than my boyfriend and am not a gold digger. My boyfriend did choose me over what was available to him at the time, some not so attractive and some attractive OKCupid women who were interested in pursuing something with him. He also dumped a couple of girls he had met in real life and dated for months before he met me for various personality flaws, so he's not a complete desperado who's willing to stick it in the long run for literally anybody. I just think he has low, albeit some, standards. I know I'm wary of men who are virgins at a late age because it makes me think that they have some massive personality flaw and are possibly crazy psychopaths. Also, they tend to "fall in love" with women very easily and too early on. I love my boyfriend though and we enjoy each other's company, so I'm not going to dump him unless he treats me like crap. I'm just wondering if I am being rational finding his past bothersome. 1
veggirl Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 gah. whats a guy to do who can't get dates. guys have to lower standards cause gals, gals, gals have a crazy way of choosing. what guy would want to get to 26 years old and not have any sex? what guy could stand it? i couldn't. True, but I guess my thought is lower your standards if they are too high of course! But then own and be okay with that! Don't freaking TELL people that you were so desperate you had to fk a fat ugly girl you weren't even attracted to because you'd been a virgin for so long!
spookie Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 The question is why those two are correlated. I realise I'm playing devil's advocate today, but I'm curious..... My guess is that the correlation is not that strong. I would further venture that the conditional probably that a guy with low standards is inexperienced, is high, while the probability that an inexperienced guy has low standards, is much lower. In other words, there could be a variety of explanations for why a guy is inexpereinced, and it is hard to tell whether he has standards, based on that fact alone. My explanation for why the group with the lack of standards is more likely to be inexperienced, is that what they have in common, is low self esteem - which women can smell from miles away, and generally stay away from (for good reason).
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 This thread has disintegrated into a war between men and women. What does "GIGS" refer to? Also, why have presumably virgin men come out of the woodwork to initiate personal attacks? I make more money than my boyfriend and am not a gold digger. My boyfriend did choose me over what was available to him at the time, some not so attractive and some attractive OKCupid women who were interested in pursuing something with him. He also dumped a couple of girls he had met in real life and dated for months before he met me for various personality flaws, so he's not a complete desperado who's willing to stick it in the long run for literally anybody. I just think he has low, albeit some, standards. I know I'm wary of men who are virgins at a late age because it makes me think that they have some massive personality flaw and are possibly crazy psychopaths. Also, they tend to "fall in love" with women very easily and too early on. I love my boyfriend though and we enjoy each other's company, so I'm not going to dump him unless he treats me like crap. I'm just wondering if I am being rational finding his past bothersome. No war here And I'm glad that you seem to be level headed and balanced about how you are viewing things. If I were you, I wouldn't dwell too much on his past, especially if his standards aren't as low as were actually insinuated. To comment on what you say about male virgins though, I wouldn't say that most are like that. It's a deadly stereotype for the majority of us as we are not like that, nor do we have any major personality flaws. It's something that does us grave harm IMO.
ThaWholigan Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 True, but I guess my thought is lower your standards if they are too high of course! But then own and be okay with that! Don't freaking TELL people that you were so desperate you had to fk a fat ugly girl you weren't even attracted to because you'd been a virgin for so long! Exactly. Tell em she was the sexiest fat girl you ever seen . (I like big girls tpp ) My guess is that the correlation is not that strong. I would further venture that the conditional probably that a guy with low standards is inexperienced, is high, while the probability that an inexperienced guy has low standards, is much lower. In other words, there could be a variety of explanations for why a guy is inexpereinced, and it is hard to tell whether he has standards, based on that fact alone. My explanation for why the group with the lack of standards is more likely to be inexperienced, is that what they have in common, is low self esteem - which women can smell from miles away, and generally stay away from (for good reason). Yes, I would agree. Low self-esteem is something that will drive people away. My mum always says "misery loves company". Low self-esteem works the same, it tends to put a downer on things. My lack of confidence was similar, although my self esteem was never low to a point where it affected how I related to people, at least not more than my condition anyway.
mesmerized Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 gals females girls women are very annoying with their lies. they are good for sex, but not a lot are good for dating. Stop trolling the poor girl's thread. I don't even know why people post here for advice with the existence of crazies like you. I'm sorry you fail at life but right now we are discussing something else not your miserable life.
Author Flummox Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 Flummox - reading your original post and not reading any other responses, you sound like you are a little, sorry, uptight and very picky/fussy. us guys arent like that (not anymore) and are not obsessed with looks as much as women are (sorry..but its true!) he does have standards but is NOT picky, fussy nor unrealistic. he wants a relationship, doesnt matter who as long as he gets treated well as you would get the same return back. that IS what a relationship is about, NOT about looks or how much you earn or anything else. otherwise, you are just looking for a sugardaddie relationship - one of meet every now and again for some "hot sex" with some guy for money. I agree with prune and dasin too. and just proves my point, and todays society I must have missed the memo that not being willing to date anyone with a dong is being fussy. That's what I don't understand though. Shouldn't a romantic relationship be about more than being treated well and vice versa? Sure that's the root of it, but shouldn't there be more? One time, my boyfriend said he would be willing to give anyone a date, to see if it works. I know he's not willing to give anyone a relationship because he dumped a couple girls after dating them, one because he wasn't attracted to her. The concept of being willing to give anyone a date is odd to me. There should be a minimum baseline for physical attraction. I'm not saying a relationship should be primarily about looks, but why would anyone consider it normal to be willing to give anyone of the opposite sex a date?
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