wwwjd Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Watching a video series from some guy about dating, and he asks the question: Are you the person, that the person you are looking for, is looking for? In other words, you could look at yourself and see if you fit what the person you are after would like also. If was after a girl who's life is Kayaking, and I sit infront of a TV all day and night playing COD, does it make any sense that SHE would be after a guy like me? No. So I need to be someone seekable, or at least some sort of match up with the person I think I want. Or when I find a person I want, they'll be looking the other way. Make sense, doesn't it?
Author wwwjd Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 someone replied "Would you date you?" to a degree that is it, but it is more too. Maybe you are happy living like pigpen, showering twice a week, bugs in your pizza boxes.... and you want to date Miss Universe... do you think she will want to date you? Highly doubt it. But maybe you'd be happy dating someone else equally dirty (just an extreme example). If not, you GOTTA TAKE STEPS to change and become the prize for the one you seek.
LZ2000 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Hmmmmmmmmm. My reply to this would really be an equal mix of an agreement and a rebuttal. Because it may work for some people or not.
Author wwwjd Posted April 14, 2012 Author Posted April 14, 2012 rebuttle away. thats what makes the net cool: hearing different ideas
jobaba Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Watching a video series from some guy about dating, and he asks the question: Are you the person, that the person you are looking for, is looking for? In other words, you could look at yourself and see if you fit what the person you are after would like also. If was after a girl who's life is Kayaking, and I sit infront of a TV all day and night playing COD, does it make any sense that SHE would be after a guy like me? No. So I need to be someone seekable, or at least some sort of match up with the person I think I want. Or when I find a person I want, they'll be looking the other way. Make sense, doesn't it? Absolutely. I'm looking for somebody just like me. But it's very hard to find somebody of the opposite sex that is similar to you. Heck, it's hard to find somebody of the same sex that has many similar things to you in a friendship sense. I'd kind of given up on finding someone really compatible in favor of settling for somebody who has good solid character. But I do think about it a lot.
FindingE Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I agree with that, it kind of falls in the same vein as "you have to love yourself before anyone else can". Not only that, but I would think that it might put you in situations where you might have better chances to actually MEET that person you are looking for.
spookie Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 It's an ok thought to help put things in perspective, but probably bad advice for any specific situation, since the type you seek, will generally be a varied group, with different preferences. More effective advice would be to be true to yourself, while being the best version of yourself, you can be.
Jane2011 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Years ago, no, I wouldn't date me. There were things about me that I wasn't happy with and that I knew made me kind of a "loser." Smoking was one of them; the others I won't enumerate. But in recent years, yes, I'd definitely date me. I've done a lot of work on myself in the past six years (and it wasn't even all intentional; some of it was just naturally evolving), and I'm really happy with who I am and what I'm all about. I think I am the person that the person I am seeking...would seek. The last guy I dated was exactly what I wanted, and he wanted me, too, so that's some indicator to me that I have the approval of my target market, so to speak. Circumstances, rather than compatibility or lack of desire, messed that up. But it was/is promising. I still do need some work in a few areas (and they are definitely very fixable), but I'm 85% the person I want to be in order to attract who I want.
firehawk_1 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 I dont get where people get off or even think they can find someone EXACTLY like them? That's SO WRONG! . no wonder there are SOOO many single people these days and moan and complain about it. its about finding someone who is kind, caring, genuine and who wants to be with you and nothing otherwise. not about SAME interests, SAME age, SAME height, SAME...everything. that isnt life at all and is kind of a "self loving" person i.e up themselves. its about sharing things and compromise. not like life or death exactness
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 In a word, no. I would not date me. It's almost 7 here on a Saturday night, about 45 minutes drive outside of the most powerful city in the world and here I am sitting at home. I'll probably head to the gym or out for a run in a bit. The person I'd want to date would have spent today on a road trip, or hiking, or mountain biking or maybe spending tonight trying out a new ethnic restaurant. Certainly not staying at home and working out.
Author wwwjd Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I dont get where people get off or even think they can find someone EXACTLY like them? That's SO WRONG! . There is more to it than dating your self, and loving yourself. It asks, would the person you chase even be interested in YOUR TYPE. For example, the person above was a smoker... we might have loved ourselves, had a million things in common, been almost exactly alike.... but I would not seek her (her?) because she was a smoker. Maybe I was just like her and she was attracted to me, but me, the person she was seeking, would not seek her with the smoking thing. So she evaluates her situation and decides she needs to ditch the smoking to get a guy like me to seek her. Not about do you love you, or exact matches. but GREAT feedback!!!
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I am the type of person I am looking for... into video games, literature, solid job. I want someone that is exactly equal or a *little* less than I am. Sadly the people who I match, don't want me. Nerds all want super hot perfect gamer girls. And who, exactly, is into my type... the ugly, sarcastic gamer girl? Absolutely no one. So, I can't exactly change my preferences to fit who likes me, because, well, no one does. Thus the great irony of life.
threebyfate Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 No, I'm too short to be a guy. Thank goodness my husband isn't a heightist!
Author wwwjd Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I am the type of person I am looking for... into video games, literature, solid job. I want someone that is exactly equal or a *little* less than I am. Sadly the people who I match, don't want me. Nerds all want super hot perfect gamer girls. And who, exactly, is into my type... the ugly, sarcastic gamer girl? Absolutely no one. So, I can't exactly change my preferences to fit who likes me, because, well, no one does. Thus the great irony of life. Everybody's attraction is different. But if you feel you are ugly, have you taken steps to alter your apperance? You don't have to be a slutty barbie doll, but maybe try a new hairdo or completely change the color of your clothes on to the exact opposite. Just do some stuff different. And, yes, sarcastic girls freaking rock my world!! Major fun, major turn on, major top of heap in my book. And I game plenty and LOVE gaming girls. So, if you are not attracting the person you want to, change something and give it a shot. You can always go back to the old you any time you want. Not trying to push for shallow superficiality here, but if you can change something, why not give it a shot. Drop $100 at Express or where ever and get something new and fun to wear. If you feel weight is a problem, ask for help to buy things that diminish that issue. Plop $50 down at the MakeOver place and say, "make me HOT!". Then show off by hanging out in the local Starbucks or FoodCourt and check out who is checking you out. But keep the sarcasm rolling in!!!!
verhrzn Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Everybody's attraction is different. But if you feel you are ugly, have you taken steps to alter your apperance? You don't have to be a slutty barbie doll, but maybe try a new hairdo or completely change the color of your clothes on to the exact opposite. Just do some stuff different. And, yes, sarcastic girls freaking rock my world!! Major fun, major turn on, major top of heap in my book. And I game plenty and LOVE gaming girls. So, if you are not attracting the person you want to, change something and give it a shot. You can always go back to the old you any time you want. Not trying to push for shallow superficiality here, but if you can change something, why not give it a shot. Drop $100 at Express or where ever and get something new and fun to wear. If you feel weight is a problem, ask for help to buy things that diminish that issue. Plop $50 down at the MakeOver place and say, "make me HOT!". Then show off by hanging out in the local Starbucks or FoodCourt and check out who is checking you out. But keep the sarcasm rolling in!!!! Superficial changes cannot solve anything. I dyed my hair dark auburn, bought $200 worth of clothes at the mall that I made a store clerk help me with for 2 hours, and had a professional make-up job done, and it didn't make a damn bit of difference at the party I was at last weekend. This is not "She's All That," where the girl takes off her glasses and suddenly she's a babe. If you're ugly, you're ugly; there are only so many steps up the ladder you can get.
fortyninethousand322 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Superficial changes cannot solve anything. I dyed my hair dark auburn, bought $200 worth of clothes at the mall that I made a store clerk help me with for 2 hours, and had a professional make-up job done, and it didn't make a damn bit of difference at the party I was at last weekend. This is not "She's All That," where the girl takes off her glasses and suddenly she's a babe. If you're ugly, you're ugly; there are only so many steps up the ladder you can get. Another proud member of the LS Order of Eternal Negativity. You know we really should get t-shirts printed up, show our team spirit.
Author wwwjd Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I don't care if you are hidiously deformed, you are being WAY TOO HARD on yourself. At least online. Hope that doesn't carry into the real world. I met a girl a few weeks back that was not the world's version of attractive. I won't get into it, but I found her completely attractive right off the bat due to her outgoing witty banter, friendliness, her big smile and some light in her eyes. Ima do a little checking up and ask her out maybe if she has no BF/husband. But, easily most people would say she is not pretty. My brain went right around that. Didn't even think twice about it. Her WAY is everything!!!! You can do that too.
somedude81 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Yeah I think I am. Looking back at the last girl I wanted, it seemed like I would have been exactly what she was looking for. We were a perfect match in almost everything. Though I was not what she wanted. And I'm pretty sure that the type of guy she wanted, wouldn't want her.
Author wwwjd Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 Yeah I think I am. Looking back at the last girl I wanted, it seemed like I would have been exactly what she was looking for. We were a perfect match in almost everything. Though I was not what she wanted. And I'm pretty sure that the type of guy she wanted, wouldn't want her. Right there she had the issue we are discussing here. I love how some women want way more than they REALLY, actually, truly, deeply want: "I want a man who is ripped, a doctor, and a lawyer, and a ninja, and a mansion on 40 acres...." She gets that then divorces him and moves in with the poolman, because she really didn't know who she was and was going for the DEFAULT "successful" cocktail of life. Duh.
somedude81 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Right there she had the issue we are discussing here. I love how some women want way more than they REALLY, actually, truly, deeply want: "I want a man who is ripped, a doctor, and a lawyer, and a ninja, and a mansion on 40 acres...." She gets that then divorces him and moves in with the poolman, because she really didn't know who she was and was going for the DEFAULT "successful" cocktail of life. Duh. My guess is that she'll never actually marry Dr. Commando and will be nothing more than a pump and dump for him. And women like that get no sympathy from me.
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