namenottaken Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Here is a portion of an IM that took place with a man before he and I met... Him: “I’ll ride my golf cart next to you while you jog." Me: “That’s just lazy." Him: “You hurt my feeling.” Me: “I’m sooo glad you have ‘a’ feeling left I can trample on.” Him:“LOL…When are we going to meet?” I was flirting; I didn’t intend to be cruel and he understood that. We dated for quite a while. A similar sense of humor is important to have (IMO). Some people take things too seriously. This sounds more like a sensitivity issue on the OP’s part, rather than a comment made with a rude intent on the part of the man. I’d have probably said “It’s not my fault I can afford to be lazy, and you have to work twice as hard for the same results as me. You better get to working out before you fall behind.” But that’s just me...
westrock Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 That's interesting you are sure of that, as OP didn't tell us what was actually texted and she herself said it had playful intent in the OP. OP used the word "rude" in the thread title and her first post. I take that to mean that either the actual wording of the text was rude or the fact he was texting like this at this early stage without having met him is in her mind rude behavior. Rude to me means a negative put down. OP would have to clarify.
gaius Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Here is a portion of an IM that took place with a man before he and I met... Him: “I’ll ride my golf cart next to you while you jog." Me: “That’s just lazy." Him: “You hurt my feeling.” Me: “I’m sooo glad you have ‘a’ feeling left I can trample on.” Him:“LOL…When are we going to meet?” I was flirting; I didn’t intend to be cruel and he understood that. We dated for quite a while. A similar sense of humor is important to have (IMO). Some people take things too seriously. This sounds more like a sensitivity issue on the OP’s part, rather than a comment made with a rude intent on the part of the man. I think you have to be careful about peoples sensitivities. He was obviously comfortable with working out less than you as he started joking about it, starla might not have given any indication she was cool with it. Which makes it a douchey move on his part.
Feelin Frisky Posted April 14, 2012 Posted April 14, 2012 Agreed. I've never understood why men do this. The only people who respond to this kind of flirting are emotionally UNHEALTHY individuals. "Scoring" with such people can't possibly be seen as an accomplishment. What he's doing is rude. He's either (1) projecting his own fears about being lazy onto the OP; or, more likely, (2) indirectly telling her he won't tolerate someone who's not built like a goddess. Agreed, but women do it too and for me, it tends to create problems. I don't like one-ups-manship games with a potential or actual romantic partner. It belies a penchant for using intimate disclosures as eventual weapons.
RedRobin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I've been guilty of this... There was a guy I was interested in who just talked about his job all of the time (apparently I wasn't as impressed about it as he would have liked).... After the nth time talking about his job, I said 'yea, you work for the government. You probably can't even change your underwear without filling out a form." That was the last time we talked. DOH! I still think it was pretty funny though.
Author starla33 Posted April 15, 2012 Author Posted April 15, 2012 I think you have to be careful about peoples sensitivities. He was obviously comfortable with working out less than you as he started joking about it, starla might not have given any indication she was cool with it. Which makes it a douchey move on his part. no actually he works out a lot and I don't work out as much at all so obviously I'm in worse shape. I'm working on it though! It just freaked me out because if he wants a girl with a 6pack he should go try another one because I don't think I will ever get one of those even though I eat healthy and work out
DjinnAgain Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 I think it was innocent teasing. A lot of people's sense of humors just work like that. Mine does. He had no way to know it was a sensitivity and he should avoid it. He was at worst overly familiar, not rude or mean. Now, if you tell him it makes you uncomfortable and he continues it either directly or with a subtle change to the theme, then - ciao. I think namenottaken and dasein are right here.
SJC2008 Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 Give us the text VERBADUM so we can analyze better. I'm 100% done with date texting, unless it's a "almost there" or something along those lines. Almost all my joke/flirt texts got a goose egg response from the last woman I dated. She got a job at a gym and I said "I wish I could look at hot guys all day, I'm so jealous of you lol" goose egg. One of her weekend activities got cancelled "That means nobody got to see that beautiful smile" goose egg. Goose egg on another. Not trying to hijack but here's my point. I'm done with date texting and going with dasiens advice: DON'T TEXT, I'm so done texting until I'm in an official r. I can seee how your text can be misinterpreted becasue you don't know eachother so I say he should use more caution seeing how yall haven't even had a face to face.
RedRobin Posted April 15, 2012 Posted April 15, 2012 ...to answer your question, OP. I always do my best to assume positive intentions until I get to know them better. Texting/email jokes early on tends to be pretty risky. Best to avoid it if possible. In the early stages, it is best to take most text/email with a grain of salt. Unless it is pretty heinous, I wouldn't worry about it.
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